It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

I made this post solely to to point out the comedy gold of this police sketch courtesy of the The Indy Channel (brought to you by MSPAINT).  Hey Ryan and Cath, watch out for this man!  Other links as to not waste your time:

Trivia and NCAA Finals tonight at Flanagan's.  Hopefully Trivia guy didn't get shived while in the big house.

Posted by Phil on April 5th, around lunchtime | 113 comments


Marc on Monday, April 05, 2004 at 3:07 PM


You sank my battleship - A retired battleship is blown-up and purposely sank to give tourist drivers a fee-charging diving attraction.

Go Go Gadget Grapplinghook - An inventor creates a device to set infront of a police car that will shoot out a grappling-hook-like device in order to stop speeding cars in front during a chase. Best part is it doesn't work

Baby you the FIRE! - A magazine sends out urgent email to subscribers telling them not to prepare one of their published recipes in the currect issuse, as it may ignite or explode if prepared as published.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 6:14 AM

Brock was the grand master and head basketball god of the NCAA pool. All hail brock:

Scott had the most correct picks, unfortunately none where during the final four where you get the big points.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 7:59 AM

Your little company blurb misspelled Keith Olbermann, Marc. Countdown is my type of news show. It's basically Fark, but with moving pictures and Keith's sarcastic wit. No real content. Good times.

But what's with the blonde chick?

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 9:06 AM

God bless the sports guy:

Hilarious article on the NCAA tournament. Once again, the sports guy is a pop-culture nut so non-sports people will enjoy this.

hoban on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 10:43 AM

I know this is way off target but this week marks the tenth anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide April 5th 1994...And no matter what you think of Nirvana now or then, Kurt changed the face of music as we know it...Nirvana pushed pop music off of the airwaves for close to 8 years and only recently has it begun to take over again...Bands like Wilson Philips, and Color Me Bad, and singers like Madonna and Micheal Jackson were replaced by bands like Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Bush, and even led to bands like Metallica being reborn, and bands like Korn to be formed and get airplay...Like I said even if you think Nirvana was a stupid band who played crap music if you are a fan of rock music today you should realize and give thanks to Kurt Cobain for helping music become what it is today...I know my Nirvana cds will be playing this week in my cd player...

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 11:00 AM

Kurt Cobain was murdered.

Anyways, commercial sightings I just figured out. The guy from the hungry man commercial that gets blown through the air is the dude from my big fat obnoxious fox sh...err fiance.

And the "everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame" all-state commercial guy is Cerrano from Major League. Would it have been that difficult for them to make a version where he ends it by saying "so apply for the little green home run hitter?"

It also warrants mentioning that in the commercial where the guy gets blown through the air by a hair dryer because he's so light from lack of manly food, that I really doubt that he'd knock over three sets of lockers and then embed his ass in a wall. It really takes away from the realism of a commercial that recommends I eat a dinner with 2000+ mg of sodium per serving.

Brock on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 11:30 AM

That commercial should have had him get torn to shreds on the lockers and then splatter like a bug on a windshield against the wall. Much more realistic... plus its gory... and ever since RoboCop (the greatest police/cyborg movie of all time), gore is definitely a must in commercials.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 11:37 AM

Cyborg Cop is pretty good. Gimli from lord of the rings is one of the starring actors.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 11:50 AM

i was checking out the google searches and it turns out that the sci is the #13 result if search for "you are someone who will always be there for me" (leave off the quotes) in google. We are also #8 for "i need a bad ass site that has really cool stuff in it" And for those who spell ralph macchio "ralph maccio", we are #1

I think I might set something up to make it easier to track who arrives here and from where...

Brock on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 12:02 PM

Phil, whatever happened to the idea of creating a login, so you don't have to enter it every time you post. That would also help in tracking who is on and off at any time.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 12:07 PM

I'm still trying to juggle in my head on how to do that properly without keeping people who don't have a username from being able to read everything. A delicate balance I think.

That type of setup is pretty tricky to implement in an easy to use fashion unfortately, but it'd still be cool to be able to do...

Brock on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:04 PM

The solution may be in a vistor login, that does not require a password, but prevents posting.

Marc on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:05 PM google ratings

#1 for "Herpie squirting girls"
#1 for "Somebody in there called me a GEEK"
#5 for ""Who's Nicole Eggert?"
#1 for "Penguins are too cute to gangfuck"
#43 for "stupid hobo"
#9 for "you suck Jay"
and sadly
#1 for "marc loves the cock"

Brock on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:12 PM

Can you explain to me why you thought of these phrases to google for?

Marc on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:18 PM

just scanned the different posts and these at least came up with only a few results, which the site was one of the ones listed. <earmuffs> or </earmuffs> didn't work as easy as i thought if would for a search. nor did the 225,000 listings for "philco" i looked for obscure but funny ones to try and produce a higher rating.

Marc on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:18 PM

just scanned the different posts and these at least came up with only a few results, which the site was one of the ones listed. <earmuffs> or </earmuffs> didn't work as easy as i thought if would for a search. nor did the 225,000 listings for "philco" i looked for obscure but funny ones to try and produce a higher rating.

Plow King on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:29 PM

Phil, it's called a cookie. Simple to implement. Seamless to the users.

<ASP.NET Pseudocode="true">
AutoLogin(cookie.Username, cookie.Password)
txtUsername.Visible = true;
txtPassword.Visible = true;

Hoban, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Bush all would have displaced Wilson Philips, Color Me Bad, Madonna, and Micheal Jackson even without the "help" of Cobain. His only real contribution to music (other than contributing to the mystique of the 27 Club) was blowing his brains out and thereby leaving more airtime for the those other bands who were interested in singing about something other than how miserable their lives were.

And here's another good reason to invest in a decent cutlery set:

Jay on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:40 PM

Mmm...Who is plow king?

Plow King on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:42 PM

Mr. Plow's arch nemesis.

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 1:57 PM

It's not a matter of storing stuff in a cookie. In fact, I'm already keeping track of user name data in a cookie so theoretically I could just read that cookie in on a session_start, and keep track of who's logged on right now.

The problem would be that it would be terribly inaccurate. Mindy and I generally use the same machine when reading this, I assume Brock and Michele also do, as well as Bambi and Lynnie. Marc and Kellie would commonly be using each others computers, and my laptop gets worked over by everyone. And then there's the fact that a good chunk of the posts are coming from terminals at Bellarmine, UC, U of L or New Horizons, not set machines like a home machine where the cookie would be set from a previous post.

All for the opportunity for the thing to say "hey, brock is also logged on" just isn't worth it with all the confusion that would result, or the sacrifice of ease of use that semi-currently exists.

Plus, I'd actually have to do some work, so that's right out. But I am currently open to suggestion.

Oh, and speaking of Kurt Cobain, here's a good article with a great line:
"It was a prolific time for Cobain, a time when he was experimenting with mixing his own blood and semen with paint"

Phil on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 2:02 PM

oh, and plow king, I think I had one of your coworkers in class last week. Anil Sharma for a WinForms in VB.NET course. He skipped out on Tuesday through Friday, which hurt my feelings.

When the snow starts a-falling
There's a man you should be calling
That's KL5-4796
Let it ring!
Mr Plow is a loser
And I think he is a boozer
So, you'd better make that call to the Plow King

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 4:13 AM

Kurt Cobain and Nirvana made rock popular again...If it was not for Nirvana making Radio stations feel it was ok to play rock again many stations never would have...Also have you listened to any of the bands I listed...Hell any rock band today? All rock music is about depression and anger and hate...That is what makes it music...Kurt just had the ability to put emotion into his music...Not to mention Bush would never have made it, Gavin became popular because radio stations wanted to find a replacement for Cobain...Oh and Phil what the fuck? Murdered? You really have got to be kidding right?

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 4:45 AM

Courtney Love killed him.

"The forensic pathologist that we spoke to said that there's no way this guy could have injected a triple lethal dose of heroin into his system, then rolled down his sleeve, put away the drug kit, picked up the shotgun and shot himself. He would have been incapacitated within seconds"


Plow King on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 5:54 AM

Assuming people are using their own usernames on the computers, cookies would work just dandy. But knowing how Bellarmine, U of L, and New Horizons always tread on the cutting edge of technology (e.g. if they're still using Windows 98), you’re pretty much screwed. I guess it comes down to risk analysis versus the demands of the people of

So you’re trying to tell me, Hoban, that had Curt Cobain never existed, Alice in Chains would never have been popular? That’s asinine. The music industry naturally turns over every decade or so and a serious change was due, especially since the worst decade in music (if you can call it that) had just ended. Even William Hung would have been a legitimate star in the early 90s.

Depression, anger, and hate are what define music? Man, this gets better and better. Phil, I think this guy needs to spend some time with Dr. Alexander Simpson (but not alone).

Plow King on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 5:57 AM

Anil’s a good guy. Don’t take it personally. His intention from the beginning was probably to show up for just the first day for the courseware and then read it on his own. The man used to write assembly, so I think he could handle teaching himself VB.

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:09 AM

When he didn't know VB coming in, it was a bad sign. In this course, by the end of the first day we are creating our own custom controls. On tuesday we are looking at setting up disconnected data applications. Wednesday we are doing print output via GDI+ and working with COM components. Thursday we are working globalization and working with COM components. Friday is spent working with code access security and things like the global assembly cache.

All in all, a pretty advanced course. My thought was that perhaps he went in looking to learn VB only to find that this class assumed you were already very good with .NET and visual basic, and realized he might be in a bit over his head. Either that or he hates me.

Seemed like a nice guy though.

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:14 AM

Yes I believe that Nirvana is the band that signified a change in music in the early 90's and if it were not for Nirvana that music very easily could have either stayed the same or taken a different turn...Nirvana showed that rock music could be popular and underground at the same time...Depression, hate and anger defined what was known as alternative music in the early 90's...Sorry I left that word out but every band's music out of Seattle at that point including Alice in Chains had those three feeligns as a focal point...As far as bands not becoming popular yes I do feel that way too...After all how many of those bands lasted in popularity once Kurt Cobain died...The answer is none of them...Would they have possibly been successful bands maybe but Nirvana changed the face of radio and popular music in the early 90's in a way that no other band has done since...

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:22 AM

As far as him being murdered Phil get the story straight first
That article and book is full of holes, and mistruths...For instance if Kurt was not suicidal then why did he attempt suicide twice in the six months leading up to his death...
Secondly the blood stream count is not completly true either because Kurt had been a user for over ten years and up to three to four times daily and built up a huge tollerance for Herion and not been affected the same way as a normal user
Also the shotgun did have fingerprints on it but they were not legibal due to the force of a shotgun ripping through his dying body the fingerprints easily could have become smugged plus the heroin in his body would have caused him to shudder while holding the gun causing smugged fingerprints...The gun was not cleaned of fingerprints but mearly not legibal...
The note has been looked at by several handwritting expertperts including those in the police department and all said that the note matched his writting..Only these two guys are saying that it does not look the same...

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:28 AM

I would have expected Xota to jump into this conversation by now. I'm sure the crazed buffalo has very strong opinions on the changing faces of rock in the early nineties, or maybe he was just too busy flogging it (had to say it big guy).

Personally, I think this argument is cyclicle because those other bands existed before Nirvana, or at least in parallel, so one of them was bound to take the reigns. It wasn't like he inspired the style, it was already there, so if Cobain had never led the "revolution," someone else would have. Its like saying the Beatles would never have existed if Elvis didn't break the mold.

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:33 AM

little known fact (well, it seems): Layne Staley of Alice and Chains also died on April 5.

As for the suicide note and the previous suicides, those were just cries for support. Courtney couldn't take it any more and stuck a shotgun in his mouth and used Kurt's hand to pull the trigger, and then wiped her finger prints off the barrel. Anyways, here's a good collection of documents related to the MURDER!:

Although I think it's funny that these guys are using his death for their fame and fortune by accusing of Courtney of killing him for fame and fortune .

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:40 AM

Actually Brock your point helps my point because all thsoe bands had been there for a long time except Nirvana...So what was the change that caused them all to become mainstream....That is right...
Nirvana as we know them in 1991
Alice in Chains 1987
Sonic Youth early 1980's
Mudhoney 1988
Soundgarden 1984
Pearl Jam 1988
Tad 1987
All these bands are known as the creators of Alternative music in the early 1990's however the reason why Nirvana crossed over and these other bands did not is simply that Nirvana hit a much larger audience...The catchy rifts off of Nevermind, combined with Kurt's looks and east to recognize face, plus the lyrics, and emotion are what set Nirvana apart...The other bands are all great bands but none of them truly caught on till well after Nevermind broke and most of them if you really look at them don't have the crossover characteristics that Nirvan had...The closest is Pearl Jam with Eddie but if you look at the past and the present Peal Jam with their creation coming from the experimental Mother Love Bone and the hippy style music that Pearl Jam plays today you can easily see that truly the record "Ten" is not really Pearl Jam's true style of music and if it was not for the influence of Nirvana which Eddie has stated many times Ten probably would have sounded far different

adrian on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:44 AM

Yes, his band was good but God Damn Hoban..You don't have to suck his maggot infested rotting cock.

I personally didn't like Cobain until after that fucker was dead. Thats a harsh thing to say but it is the truth and I am allready going to hell so I really don't care. Lets see..according to Dante's Inferno, Cobain would be in the Seventh Circle of Lower Hell? Yep, that has to suck

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:50 AM

The U.S just blew up a mosque filled with Iraqis. Yep, that will pacify them. The mere action is going to create more militants. I know it has nothing to do with Kurt Cobain, but the topic is stalemated

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:52 AM

Come on Matt it is just a mosque...I mean if it had been a Christian Church and Catholics inside then that would have been sad but those idiots are worshipping the wrong god anyway so who gives a crap...

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:55 AM

Wow Hoban, when did you start thinking like a country singer or administration member

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:57 AM

I was trying to be funny...just stating the typical american response to the situation and probably the resoning behind why Bush would allow an attack on a religious site

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:58 AM

Since they are vowing to crush the Shi'ite milita. This is what happens when you conduct a war solely for tv purposes and abandon traditional military campaign strategy

adrian on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:17 AM

I agree with the Drunken Monkey (Church). So what did you and Sarah do after Wicks Church?

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:22 AM

Never went to Wick's man, stayed at Flannagans and watched the game.

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:29 AM

Hoban get your shit correct buddy. During the Iraq War when the militants were firing from mosques the US did not fire back because they did not want to disrespect their religion and create a fucking holy war. That is not the typical US response. However, shit happens (as I let out an evil laugh)!

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:37 AM

Oddly enough I agree with Wes. I don't believe the U.S. has ever fired on a religious building intentionally. I think it may be in correlation to their cursh the Mehdi army vow. If you look at the map of the uprisings and the countdown towards the handover, both the SUnnis and Shi'ites are trying to form their own states. Essentially, Iraq needs to be broken up into three separate states, as it was prior to 1917

adrian on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:41 AM

So we can have another Yugoslavia incident?

adrian on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:42 AM

yeah, that shit really worked out well.

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:46 AM

I think it should be broken into three states, and the people of Iraq would be fine with it. Its just those whiny bitches surrounding them that'll have a problem. Turkey hates the Kurds, Iran hates the Sunnis, and I'm sure everyone hates the Shi'ites. For being super-religious, the Arab nations are the most racist individuals in human history. They make the Nazis look like Canadians.

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:47 AM

There are similarities, but with the exception of the Kosovar-Serb feud, the former Yugoslavia is pacified. There is no way the three differing peoples of Iraq can subsist in a unified country. The only thing that held the country together was the dictatorship and hell they had been under that since the Qassem coup of 1958. There really is no solution since if the Kurds get their own state hell will break loose.

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:49 AM

If nations hate each other because of religious difference that is not racism Brock. The only people that hate the Shi'ites are the SUnni's, and it is only fitting Iran hates the Iraqi Sunnis since they denied them access to Shi'ite holy places. The Arabs are by no means driven by pure racism.

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:52 AM

In Science related news:

It turns out fat does seap into your brain and makes you eat more, probably makes you dumb too:
Ty used to harass Chip about that all the time.

Guess bigger is better, at least if you're a lizard, or a porn star:

Who doesn't get the urge to suck some blood after sex:

kellie on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 8:27 AM

you guys think we'll pull out of iraq in june or be there longer? one of my best friends is over there, i hope they pull out in june. probably won't happen though from the way the news looks.

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 8:28 AM

I was not saying the response to attacking a religious site was typical but the response to hearing about a religious site being attacked typically would be one of indifference or acceptance of the attack...that was what my typical response was referring to

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 8:31 AM

The Americans generally show indifference to attacks on religious sites at least there tacit support of Israel suggests it. There is no way the U.S. can pull out of Iraq without leaving a massive civil war.

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 9:47 AM

But did Britney's little sister and her friends look 13?

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 9:51 AM

Simpsons Movie? Outstanding

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 10:14 AM

The only good way to end the Simpsons series would be to kill Lisa. I henceforth pledge a campaign to have Lisa killed off the show. I expect her to seriously ruin any movie made from the show, so they might as well kill her off before that.

Plow King on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 10:59 AM

They’ve been kicking this idea around for awhile now. They need to settle up with the voice actors before worrying about a movie though ( I hope they don’t do it because it will dilute the greatness of the show. By all accounts they’ve never jumped the shark (, and it would be bad to finally do it… even if it’s the last episode. If they ARE going to do it, they should at least hire Trey Parker and Matt Stone since they are the only people in history to have been able to successfully turn a TV show into a movie without ruining it.

And Lisa is necessary to demonstrate the utter naiveness (yes, it's word) of the liberal view point.

It would be nice to move this site to a host not located in northern Idaho, or at least convert the timestamps to Eastern. Just a thought.

Joanna on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 11:53 AM

VERY sorry to post something that has nothing to do with the previous posts, but is anyone up for Genny's again this week? I don't know how many people have Friday off, but I'd like a burger and a beer or two Thursday night.

kellie on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 12:18 PM

joanna, i would be up for it. just let me know what time to meet and all that. i could use a couple of drinks myself right now. i also get off work friday at seven. marc and jay are going to doug's bach. party, would you all mind if i came out? i'll drive this time if anyone wants me to to make up for last friday.

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 12:24 PM

Even though people think that separating Iraq into 3 states is the answer, I think this would cause more chaos and more war. My reasoning is at the end of this war or political campaign, the bottom line is going to be can they support themselves. The oil rich region will be able to support themselves and be able to import/export goods to countries such as the US while the other won't have any goods that we want to trade for. Bottom line, no money is a bad thing!

hoban on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 12:33 PM

Well stated about the no money is a bad thing...we don't want two regions opposite on the money issue and religion issue (ex Isreal and Palestine)

kellie on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 12:34 PM

no money is definately a bad thing. i also think that war is stupid and meangingless. it ends up getting people no where in the end. people just end up killing and or hurting each other. while it may have gotten a point across, it has hurt individuals in iraq and our soldiers. i hate any form of fighting so i don't like war as that result. i'm not disagreeing with anyone's actions (such as president bush), i'm just saying i don't like war etc. sorry if it doesn't make sense.

Jay on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 1:24 PM

Brock-If I were to jump into that Cobain dialoge, It would be the same as you joining a cloning conversation between two retarded monkeys. They just have no idea what the f*** they're talking about. As for Iraq? F*** 'em. Let's pull out and let them kill each other. Maybe they'll do us a favor and the killing will spill out into neighboring countries, so that all those f***ers will just die. I have to agree with Plow King that a simpsons movie may well ruin the memory of the series.

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 1:32 PM

Xota - Wise as always

Iraq - if another person calls this situation Vietnam, I'm going to tear their tongue out. One word: Daisycutters

Simpsons (dramatic pause in honor) - I must've had a serious brain-fart because I should have yelled in outrage about the movie idea. Especially after reading the article stating they won't put the movie out until the show ends. How can the show end? Its an ever-evolving sitcom. How can it get old? Never! Although I don't see them as rivals, The Family Guy seems like the only thing that could derail the monolith that is The Simpsons. I feel sorry for Futurama, which was a great show, but suffered for the rumor it was out to replace the Simpsons. I guarantee any show put out with the subtle premise of ousting the Simpsons will fail, just out of spite. I just hope FOX doesn't screw up and compete Family Guy and Simpsons, but simply slaps them together for the greatest hour of comedy in history.

Church on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 2:21 PM

This war does have Vietnam esque qualities. I don't think the two police actions mimic each other, but I just want to see if Brock dares to try to tear my tongue out. The point Wes brought up is good, but there is a constant quagmire mney doesn't equal stability and vice versa. I think a UN mandate may be the only solution, but personally, I still think three states would be the best solution and the oil is fairly well dispersed throughout the country

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 3:58 PM

Marc, where the hell where you on posting this movie!

The moral of the story, as always, don't fuck with spanish police officers.

Marc on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 4:34 PM

phil, i don't think your link works. where the hell were YOU on that.

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 4:50 PM

Hmmm, works for me. Try and search for hostage plot foiled

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 6:03 PM

Tear Church's tongue out... wouldn't think twice. But since its constantly licking Wes' balls, I'll avoid getting my hands down there.

Plan: Hand power over to interim Iraqi government, eliminate "occupying force" label, institute U.N. approval for peace-keeping force in developing country.

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:28 PM

Wow Rommel, you must have read the paper or something, because I believe that is the plan.

Brock on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 7:52 PM

I am the Desert Fox!

Of course its the plan, but you'd be surprised how many people think we're over there planting WMDs, murdering innocent people, raping women, and eliminating the communist threat.

kellie on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 8:04 PM

anyone going up to genny's diner tomorrow? if so what time are you all going? i don't get out of school till' six PM so that's why i'm asking now in case i don't have a chance to get back on here before then.

Phil on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 8:15 PM

did someone say murder and rape?

(i'm pretty sure it's fake. and besides, i'm sure we did send him over to kill someone's father)

joe on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 10:01 PM

going back to the nirvana bullshit...wouldn't the world have been a better place had the band Bush never existed? I blame nirvana for that fuck up.

hoban on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 3:46 AM

Joe, I agree about Bush but they got popular because of the fact that Gavin was supposed to replace Kurt as a new "cute" but emotional rocker...
As far as Jay's comment on not knowing what I am talking about I think that is a crap comment...Maybe I have never been in a band but that does not make me less able to carry on a conversation...I can play a musical instrument too. I have read and studied musical history as a hobby since high school. Instead of drinking every weekend I have been going to concerts since I was 13 years old and can count well over 300 concerts of a variety of types of music that I have gone to in my lifetime. I own well over 600 cds again of variety of types...Don't make yourself sound so high and mighty Jay just because you have a differing view on something and especially don't question someone elses knowledge of a particulat topic without knowing their background in it

hoban on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 3:50 AM

Brock that plan seems so simple but who exactly is this interim government? That is where the problem lies because truly a government needs to be backed by the people and well the average person in Iraq outside of Bagdad has no idea about this government and handing power over to a group which there is a lot of hate centered around is not going to help the situation...I love that the plan also involves the UN...Before the war started the US was talking about how the UN had outlived its usefullness and how it was not really even worth consulting on any action. However now that Bush needs to get out of the country in order to get his popularity numbers up again before the election he is talking like the UN has been there all along and how helpful and useful the organization is...What a bunch of crap

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:01 AM

Brock you defame the legacy of Rommel by associating yourself with his nickname. You ought to call yourself the Desert Goat Fucker

adrian on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:04 AM

I think it is time for some MOABS..but serioously...I was fucking this bitch in the ass...

Wrecking Crew on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:26 AM

Kellie, what kind of tree hugging hippie (is that spelled with an "ie" or "y"?) are you? It's the #2 solution to all the worlds problems, next to guess what...alcohol. Why don't you go join hoban swinging from Cobain's cock

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:30 AM

You know why the campaign in Iraq is going badly? No trading cards. During the Second Gulf War ( the IRan-Iraq War of the 1980s is the first) they issued trading cards and all was well. Somebodya calls Topps

Phil on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:55 AM

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 5:57 AM

I still have the George Bush and Colin Powell cards from that series. They should do the cards and have nicknames for the admin officials. Like Tin Man Dick Cheyney

Phil on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 6:04 AM

You know, with all the crazy music talk and Church's admission of keeping his Colin Powell card from 13 years ago, i think this was a very prophetic title for a post.

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 6:06 AM

Joe hates Bush, the band: I have no real opinion on Bush, but I wanted to make that clear.

Jay the Wise: I admire the fact that a "no comment" has brought down hostility. Goes to show how wise the crazed buffalo really is.

Iraqi Interim Gov't: Who gives a shit?! They are all nutso religious fanatics that won't agree anyway. I think the group they've got selected is secular enough to institute sanity, and they've even thrown in some "clerics" to satisfy the sand-munchers. Honestly, it doesn't matter who the interim gov't is, someone will bitch about it... so why not go with what we've got... they at least came up with a "constitution." The U.N. is a bunch of shit, but if whacko zealots shoot a soldier wearing a "UN" on his helmet from a mosque window, the bitchin' and moanin' from leveling the place will be halved.

Church: I won't even bother commenting because you've once again disappointed me with your lack of creativity. However, the trading card idea is a decent one... or the second edition of the playing card deck would be even better.

Burket: Once again graces us with his wit.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 6:41 AM

Damn it Scourge of the Petting Zoo, your wrong again. There is no secular in Iraq, everything is defined by religion. If the U.S. tries to take religion out of the country than the chaos will reign. This so called constitution is nothing more than an arbitrary draft that no one had agreed upon and will have as much validity in Iraq as you do. The entire categorization of the insurgents as whacko zealots shows an ignorance of Iraqi politics and instantaneous dismissal of others views that is disconcerning. Honestly, how do you draw the line between freedom fights and the Goat fucker termed whacko zealots. This doesn't mean what the Shi'ites in Iraq are doing right now is right. I am just curious. Some groups, such as the Northern Alliance are termed freedom fighters while the Palestinian groups are termed terrorists. It is all McCarthyesque

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 6:57 AM

Of course everything is defined by religion, but what I wrote (since your Phonix courses didn't work) is that the interim gov't has secular-biased members. And YES!, that worthless constitution was agreed upon by this "worthless" gov't. Thats why they took an extra 5 days to finish it. You have to have the skeleton to build the body. Are you expecting a full body of gov't to just appear in the country? That didn't even happen in 1776.

The term "whacko zealots" works because: 1. Most of them don't know what they are fighting about, and just fight to fight. 2. Are pressured by everyone else around them to fight. 3. Hey look, Ahmed is shooting a gun, I better get one too. 4. They are using religion to justify their hate and murder.

The Northern Alliance freedom fighters were fighting for "Freedom" from a suppressive regime. Whacko zealots don't realize that they have freedom and refuse to acknowledge people are their too help... kind of too stubborn to accept help.

McCarthyesque: Ok, maybe you have some other defnition, but I don't know where the hell Communism comes into play here.

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:01 AM

Phil, I've found something you can put under your "WTF" category:

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:11 AM

1. There was still a war in 1776 and US Government did not come into existence until 1787
2. There is never a chance that the Iraqis will accept a constitituion imposed on them by the US, which is what the current constitution is
3. While they are a religious insurgency, zealot is not the exact term since that would mean Islam is calling them to fight not a polticized leader of Islam.
4. These whacko zealots have never had freedom, but how are they different from the alliance, which was composed of warlords. The reason the Alliance is termed freedom fighters is due to their status as US allies. Had this not been the case and the Taliban had been an ally then the alliance would be terrorist
5. The McCarthyism reference is a categorization. During the Red Scare and the Cold War accusation of communist sympathies were enough to merit military action and toppling a government. The same is true now with the accusation of support for terror groups.

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:27 AM

Applause: excellent rebuttal

1. Point taken: but the 3 branches of gov't didn't appear in 1787. Growing pains.

2. Of course they won't accept a constitution imposed, but they have to have some kind of framework to assemble the one they want. The intellectuals of Iraq aren't barbarians, and they can understand this concept.

3. Is the politicized leader of Islam not using Islam as a means to justify his insurgency? Ok, so splitting hairs: The leader is a zealot and the followers are insurgents or dipshits, I prefer the latter.

4. The Alliance differs from the whacko zealots/insurgents because they have a logical end and accept the progress (i.e. democratic state). Whereas the whacko insurgents have a single objective, hate, with no clear goal for progress.

5. Excellent call: shall we refer to this in future as Rumsfeldism, since I think this guy is an ass-clown (what? Brock, you support the Bush administration, how can you say that?) Pigeon-holing yourself into single side is as ignorant as calling someone a goat-fucker. Rumsfeld should have been booted years ago.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:33 AM

1. accepted
2. The intellectuals of Iraq are by no means barbarians, but they only hold sway due to US support. Association leads to disdain
3.The leader of the Shi'ite revolt is hsing his official position to legitimize the revolt, but he cannot use Islam. No one can call for a jihad except for the caliph and there has been a caliph since the 1920s. He is using bandwagon effect if anything
4. The goal of the Northern Alliance was power and to seize it from the Taliban. They have not been proponent of democracy and have preferred an anarchic warlord controlled state. I simply do not accept that they are freedom fighters
5. This cannot simply be termed Romsfeldism or Cheyneyism. It is the policy of the collective administration and should thus be called Bushism. I think the entire administration needs to be voted out of office. They clearly cannot handle the current world situation with anything other than Reaganite militarism

Phil on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:40 AM

reaganite sounds like a themed vegetable spread. goes great with Weinbergers.

wow, that's a stupid joke.

kellie on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 7:51 AM

chris, what are you talking about?

Phil on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 8:12 AM

i believe chris was talking about fajitas

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 8:25 AM

THIS IS FUN! I am on the verge of pulling an Andrew and getting booted out of grad school b/c of instead of

2. Saying I'm a fan of the U.S. in Iraq or most Arab states is like saying I'm a Duke fan in Kentucky. This is simply a deep-seeded hatred that will always be an impasse. But you'll have to agree its a Catch 22 to get the "UN" stamp on an interim gov't because the UN won't put a stamp on one until there is one, and the US will have to install one. ROAR!!!

3. Accepted. That guy is a sonofabitch!

4. Ok, I agree that the Alliance is shady, but it led to a swift, and relatively bloodless revolution. This goes into an entirely new topic, but the anarchy is a result of neglect if anything. The approach in Iraq right now would be spectacular in Afghanistan right now. Damn it Bush... thats popularity points right there!

5. I state Rumsfeldism b/c this is a Defense policy. I ask: how the hell else do we stop these nutsos trying to kill us at our home? I call upon Dennis Miller philosophy to answer.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 8:30 AM

1. The UN is a hell of a lot better at government formation and peacekeeping than the US. At least the U.N can stand outside the conflict since it wasn't parcel to the invasion
2. The Alliance victory was not a revolution, it was a U.S. assisted coup. Do you think they would have toppled the Taliban had the US not bombed the hell out of Kabul and other cities. The approach in Iraq woul dnot work in Afghanistan. Afghanistan is traditionally ungovernable and the residents love to fight. They have beat the British and the Soviets, so no approach other than a long war of attrition would work.
3. Defense policy is Bush's policy and he is pulling the strings or at least has a say in what's happening. The enitre policy was ushered in with his election
4. Andrew? Most socially inept individual ever

Bigworm on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 8:46 AM

1. The UN is a better peace keeper because they let whoever do whatever in the hell they want. However, Hans Blix sucks at getting the job done and producing results. I don't care what you say, increasing the amount of inspectors wouldn't do anything. The equivalent to this is like increasing the number of hall monitors in elementary school, regardless the number of monitors, kids still run up and down the halls.

2. Def. a US assisted coup. However, we showed the British and Soviets how to win. Have to get the Northern Alliance Freedom Fighters which is the reason why you gave those guys something like 20 Million per month to be our guides.

3. The Department of Defense was actually suggested by the Democrats before 9/11, however,it did not make it through congress. Shorty after 9/11 - Bush installs it.

4. Without a doubt, he got pissed because Jay turned his D&D character into a big pink clam.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 8:50 AM

Yep, Afghanistan is such a democracy

Marc on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:22 AM

This has been a highly entertaining and informative debate. Perhaps it could inspire a political talk show like Hannity and Colmes, Kudlow and Cramer, Buchannon and Press. Now, we should push Church & Schweitzer AKA: Hippie & German Boy may be easier for the average public. I'd watch it.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:24 AM

Only if they restrained Brock sinc he would be prone to fits of rage

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:28 AM

If they wheeled me in like Hannibal Lector, I'd be for it. Some other show I could ride in on a tank! Church would definitely have to wear a beer hat with Guinness, or a an intravenous line hooked up to a keg. I think the constant flow of booze would certainly liven the show up.

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:32 AM

1. Agreed, UN is better at gov't building, but my cyclicle problem still exists.

2. Stalemate: Afghans are some crazy sonsofbitches!

3. Let me simmer over this during lunch. The War on Terror is a good idea, but some aspects have been handled improperly (Rumsfeld = scapegoat).

4. Andrew is a nut-job.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:39 AM

A Keg of Guiness, hmm. Not bad. We could also have a roving reporter referred to simply as bitch, I nominate Adrian

Wrecking Crew on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 9:47 AM

You're all schmegmaheads.

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 11:49 AM


Phil on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 11:57 AM

oh, god, i can't help myself:

I'm a dirty, dirty person.

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 12:52 PM

We could have another correspondent named Schmegahead, I nominate Burket. He could dip his bald head into curdled milk before his on-screen appearences. Basically, his segment would involve picking fights with random people on the street, but not blatantly. He would have to do it with wit. Like take the dumbass-advocate side of a situation and get into arguments with people on the street. Oh... he has to puke at each location too.

I think Adrian should do segments in which he runs around calling people fat pieces of shit!

Brock on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 12:58 PM

I was also inspired... I could do a spin-off from the show, and instead of HardBall, call it HardFist!

Church on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 1:07 PM

Rumble in Talkradio starring Brock Hardfist and Don the Dragon Wilson

Jay on Thursday, April 08, 2004 at 4:01 PM

Once again, I have missed a lot. No offense guys, but I pretty much ignored all your arguing posts. Brock- You are correct. The ignorant will always be laid low by the might of the wise. Anyway, are we going up to Genny's tonight? That would kind of cool.

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 2:12 PM

For anyone who doesn't know:

smegma- foul smelling pasty accumulation of desquamated epidermal cells and sebum collecting in moist areas of the genitalia, often under the foreskin

In other words, dead smelly skin on your dick (typically, if you're still wearing a turtle neck) that looks like some foul cheesey stuff.

kellie on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 4:17 PM

i need alcohol! anyone call me tonight if you all go out. a few people are going to doug's gay bach. party. not sure on the spelling, so i abbreviated it. anyway, call me! or i'll see you all tomorrow night.

mowgli on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 6:01 PM

Smegma...aka Fomunda Cheese...right!

kellie on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 7:32 PM


kellie on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 7:34 PM


mowgli on Friday, April 09, 2004 at 8:27 PM

Fomunda neath my balls...LOL!!!

Bigworm on Saturday, April 10, 2004 at 7:55 AM


So when I call someone "Cheese Dick" try not to be too offended.

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