Wanted: For Making Crappy Remakes

This is a topic that has been bothering me for a while, although you might not care about it.  Because it has been a while since I have created a post, and because this is the perfect place to complain about the things stuck in my craw, I decided to talk about this.  These people are wanted for the horrendous crime of doing god awful remakes of songs I like, if not love.

Rita Coolidge- You may not know her, but chances are you have heard her version of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher" (although this may or may not have been done by the Dells before he, his is the most famous version).  Her version is super slow, and feels like all the soul has been sucked out of the room

Sheryl Crow- Her version of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" forced me to buy "Appetite for Destruction."  She lost all credibility after this travesty.

311- Although their "Love Song" isn't horrible, it's not The Cure. 

Joss Stone- Why did she feel the need do redo "Fell in Love with a Girl"?  Granted, she and her band are technically better than the White Stripes, she sucked the soul out of the song by trying to give it one.

Dave Matthews- Perhaps the worst sinner on this list.  "All along the Watchtower" was a big hit for Jimi Hendrix, even though crappy ass Bob Dylan wrote it.  DM can suck it hard.

Jessica Simpson- You guys might think Berlin is just a city in Germany, but they, in fact, performed "Take my Breath Away" first.  It might be a cheesy, corny, crappy love song, but damnit, Berlin's version was infinitely better than hers. 

So, in conclusion, if you are going to do a cover, don't slow it down, and don't suck, because Big Jay will have to lay the smack down.

Posted by Jay on April 21st, around lunchtime | 146 comments

Comments

Brock on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 1:30 PM

Jay, remember when I said there was an 80s remake of FreeBird... well here are the lyrics... I'm sure you can download it somewhere and go apeshit in anger for the blasphemy
http://popi.com/80s/artist/lyrics_r...ad.html?idx=959

Wrecking Crew on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 1:45 PM

But if they're hot (Jessica Simpson and Sheryl Crow) and do a cover, I can still put the video on mute and watch it. Sure I may lose all respect for them and their music, but I probably never had any to begin with.

Jay on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 1:57 PM

Sheryl Crow is old, and Jessica Simpson is stupid. They're all yours.

Plow King on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 2:02 PM

I absolutely agree that Cheryl Crow murdered a hard rock classic. And the way she totally removed one of the most awesome intros (and most fun to play, I might add) in rock music history? Unbelievable.

My votes for covers that were better than the originals:
Alien Ant Farm - "Smooth Criminal"
Aerosmith - "Stop Messin’"
Chad Kroeger and Kid Rock - "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)"
Metallica - "Whiskey in the Jar" (Irish folk songs suck!)

Close, but not quite:
Metallica - "Turn the Page" (The driving Gibsons almost give them the edge, but Bob's more dramatic version creates the emotion demanded by the lyrics.)

And I don’t mean to give the impression that I swing from Kirk Hammet’s schlong. It’s not my fault they did a 2-disc cover tribute.

Jay on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 2:23 PM

I have to agree with you on those, except I have never heard "Stop Messin'" , but Aerosmith sucks anyway. Other covers better than the original
Orgy- Blue Monday (i think that's the name of it)
White Stripes- Jolene
Fear Factory- Cars
Ramones- Spiderman Theme
Smashing Pumpkins- You're All I've Got Tonight
Albino Toilet Boys- White Wedding (Marc knows what I'm talking about)
There are probably a lot more I could think of given time.

Marc on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 2:25 PM

VIDEOS OF THE DAY
http://tinyurl.com/2zaah

NOTE: If you want to share these videos with your close friends please feel free to do so. even download them to your computer if you wish. just please don't post to larger well-established sites that might cause too much traffic (ie: fark, ebaumsworld, milkandcookies) because i don't want to take the chance of anything bad happening. Also there can be possible copyright issues even though these are broadcasted free on the airwaves. thanks

(1) What are the worst songs ever? Blender Magazine thinks they know. See if you agree. Some were definitely overplayed, don't know about worst though. a few are pretty bad though.

(2) This one is a two-fer: First, sure to kick the dog off of Rachel's couch for a while, Britney Spears gets her own reality show. Second, self-appointed Red Sox spokesman and fan Ben Affleck hosts fundraiser.

(3) Sure to make the girls go "AWWWW." A hen adopts unwanted eggs and raises hachlings as her own. Wanting her to come across a aligator egg to adopt....purely for nature versus nuture debate.

(4) Oddball news: included is 6-inch scissors left in patient for over a year with cool x-rays; truck lands on top of restaurant; voodoo curses on politicians; etc.

(5) After Hillary Clinton made a joke about Gandhi, Gandhi has used Conan's Late Night over the past few nights to "snap" the senator and former first-lady.

Enjoy.

Mindy on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 2:26 PM

Speaking of eye-candy with horrible music:

Joey Lawrence's 28th birthday (yesterday) went unnoticed on this website...

So sad...

Marc on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 2:56 PM

Joey Lawrence was born on the same day as Hitler and gets to remember the Columbine shootings happened on his birthday. Wait, a second.......has anyone here every seen Joey (now Joseph, yeah right) Lawrence and Adolf Hitler in the same room? I thought not.
Whoooooaaaa!

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 4:48 PM

First of all, Jessica Simpson's version of "Take my breath away" is not in Top Gun, therefore it's not as good as Berlins.

Artists shouldn't try to rip anything off from the White Stripes, because I can think of no worst travesty than NSYNC, Jessica Simpson, or Sheryl Crow trying to do a remake to "Seven Nation Army".

Jay on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 7:16 PM

Damn right Wes.

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 8:00 PM

What about the Guess Who band. Personally, I like Lenny Kravitz version of "American Woman" better, however, Limp Bizkit needs to leave "Behind Blue Eyes" to the masters.

mowgli on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 9:16 PM

This is a off the current subject. I found these on milkandcookies.com, I thought it was fun...

http://kill-bill.cz/game/

This clip is pretty cool.

Friday night madness 3

mowgli on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 9:24 PM

Damnit. Fucked up the second link...here it is.

http://www.urban-skills.com/videos/...ynight3-mid.wmv

Bigworm on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 9:25 PM

Watch out Crazed Buffalo...may have found the new Natty Sci mascot.

http://www.collegehumor.com/?image_id=24523

or

http://www.collegehumor.com/?image_id=30664

KellyHarrison on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 11:20 PM

horrible music is creed because it always sounds the same in every song it seems like. bambi, rachel, getting the new brittany cd next time i get paid, which is next week. bambi, how can you say she's gotten a little chubby in the middle? i don't see it anywhere. mindy, how's she ugly? she's prettier than christina aguilara i think i least. hopefully those cocksuckers from Wisconsin will agree with me on that.

KellyHarrison on Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 11:21 PM

ok phil, that has to be you doing that now. i didn't put that last line in there.

Bambi on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 4:53 AM

All I'm saying is that the girl needs to firm up!! That's what she gets paid for!!

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 5:23 AM

Lets see here, Kelly talked about eating shit yesterday and now she is calling wisconsin people cocksuckers. Definately certifiable if you ask me.

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 5:49 AM

Phil and Adrian, question for you. What is a computer language similar to Pascal beginning with A and ending in A. This is my job for the day to find this answer, any help is appreciated

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 6:03 AM

ADA

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 6:11 AM

Thanks Adrian, had to look up a crossword clue for one of my bosses

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 6:13 AM

No problem Beatchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 7:32 AM

fun fact about Ada. It's named after Ada Byron, the daughter of Lord Byron. She worked with charles babbages difference machine to be succesful at betting at the track. Making her the first person to look at computers as doing something other than pure math, making her the first computer programmer.

joe on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 7:32 AM

how about kidrock and "feel like makin love" I honestly believe he and limp bizkit, at least fred durst, should all be shot. Tantric's remake of that Fleetwood mac song or somethin like that isnt too shabby. You all could still kick tantrics ass at white castle though.

KellyHarrison on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 8:26 AM

i didn't call wisconsin cocksuckers,i don't know how that got in there! my name is spelled with an ie at the end, i just changed it to a y because of that one fucker. what the hell is sanchez? i found out what teabagging was and taht is nasty as hell. where the hell do people come up with this shit?

KellyHarrison on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 8:31 AM

<img src=http://img54.photobucket.com/albums..._assignment.jpg <img src=http://img54.photobucket.com/albums...ve/ginnie21.jpg

just seeing if these pictures i've taken comes up. i'm really bored! don't have class until 330pm

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 8:41 AM

just post the url of the image.

KellyHarrison on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 8:45 AM

http://img54.photobucket.com/albums..._thumb_taz2.gif
http://img54.photobucket.com/albums..._assignment.jpg
http://img54.photobucket.com/albums...ve/ginnie21.jpg
if these show up this time, these people except for taz are friends of mine. the one with the sword is actually married and has a year and half old baby. the other one is my friend at school that works in the photolab. hope these show up this time, just did the url like you said phil.

Bigworm on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 9:03 AM

The best part of Kid Rock's "Feel Like Making Love" is the fact that he is singing his heart out.

Marc on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 9:06 AM

kellie is post-crazy. look at all the posts these last two days, and look at thier contents: crazy camp tree-poking, teabaggin', shit-eating (adrian's favorite), wisconsin cocksuckers, me sexy hairy chest. you're crazy lady.

KellyHarrison on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 9:10 AM

no, i just don't have anything better to do when i'm not at school or work. hey, at least i'm honest!

Bigworm on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 9:31 AM

Kellie you are living up to being "Krazy" thanks for the laughs.

Bambi - Yes there are times when I see Ms. Spears on TV and I think she has picked up a little weight in the midsection, however I realize that I'd still do her so it's all good. She still has a nice ass and nice lips, which are my 2 favorite characteristics of females.

Wrecking Crew on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:04 AM

Other good remakes aka better than the original:

Faith- Limp Bizkit
Sweet Dreams- Marilyn Manson

So when's the drinking starting this weekend? Surgery will be done, and I may be starting early.

Wrecking Crew on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:07 AM

I don't care if she's old she's still hot, and it doesn't matter if Jessica Simpson's stupid or not because she doesn't need to talk to you. Besides I'm sure you can find something better to do with her mouth.

Brock on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:31 AM

Burket... where did you get all this wisdom? Oh.. thats right, from me! Brains don't equal sexability and its more important whats going into a female's mouth than whats coming out of it!

HE-MAN WOMAN OWNERS!

Surgeon General's Warning: Testosterone surges can bring about fits of sexism and eating of people's eyeballs!

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:39 AM

Brock I find it hard to believe anyone could ever get any wisdom from you.

Jay on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:45 AM

Kellie-you missed the point of the conversation. It's not about crappy music, but crappy covers. Britney Spear's trashed "Satisfaction"

Wes- Guess Who's version is better than Lenny Kravitz. I am torn on "Behind Blue Eyes" because LB version isn't bad, and I'm not a huge Who fan, but Limp Bizkit sucks.

Chris-Marilyn Manson-better-Limp Bizkit-see my comment to Wes. And I can honestly say, hand to god, that Jessica Simpson does nothing for me now, nor has she ever. She is hot, but she doesn't have anything that all her own. Yes, I realize this will get me called gay, but damnit, that's how I feel.

Joe- you are absolutely right about Kid Rock

"A 'friend' of ours remade this song, but we think we did it right the first time." -Lars Ulrich

Brock on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:48 AM

Not only have I contributed to academia through publication, but I have also provided much insight on the topic of enforced natural selection and 50s-style sociology to Mr. Burket (soon to be Dr.). Although he has a tendancy to blurt random comments out at inopportune times like a chimp, I feel he has progressed well. He no longer likes eating dirt, swimming in the river, humping Marc, and even uses utensils when he eats... sometimes.

So just take one look at the Wrecking Crew's ingenius posts and I present to you passing of wisdom.

Next project: Genetically engineering Lynnie's first born to have a tail and glow in the dark.

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:49 AM

adrian, you eat anything yet?

Bigworm on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:50 AM

Jay - The reason why she does nothing for you is because she doesn't have a dick, so you can't suck it like J-Lo's.

Brock on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:55 AM

Although we spend a lot of time harassing Jay about his tastes, I think this is an understandable position for him to take on Jessica Simpson.

The real question is whether Phil and Adrian are seriously dating yet? Stop blatantly hitting on one another with recorded evidence. Just pick up the phone you lazy bastard!

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:56 AM

There was a true ghost stories thread on fark yesterday. I know Mindy will get a kick out of some of the stories: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/com...ode=voteresults

My favorite is, of course, the phantom wipe story.

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 10:58 AM

i called him, but he probably fell off the wagon and knocked back like six carbombs this morning and has proceeded to pass out on his desk.

Jay on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:01 AM

Thanks for defending me, Brock. Wait, Brock just defended me on this topic. Damnit. Okay, I love the cock.

Phil on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:02 AM

as do people from wisconsin

Jay on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:05 AM

Hey, Kellie, why do people from Wisconsin love the cock?

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:23 AM

Big JizNay mother fucking SmizNith. Dude, that chick at Backyard burger wanted the cock.

Jay on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:25 AM

She almost got on her knees and started sucking it right there in the middle of the restaurant.

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 11:54 AM

Wow Brock you have an academic publication, want a fucking cookie. Who doesn't have an academic publication? How many classes do you teach or are the UC administrators worried about you accosting undergrads or lab monkies

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 12:13 PM

Hum...a cookie does sound good right now.

Jay on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 12:37 PM

It sure does. Oh wait, you said cookie. Nookie sounds good to me right now.

Brock on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 12:37 PM

Notice how Church went after my publication, when I downplayed it to potty-training Burket. I am much more gratified to see one of my students use hand tools!
UC pays me to make money for them... and that isn't from teaching, its from funding their grants.

Church, I'm sensing way too much jealousy/hostility. Maybe you should keep the cookie and chase it with some morphine. Or is it that my lab monkey slammed you into a Coke machine while he was disabled from his bionic leg implant. Jay was hyped to put the Adamintium in.

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 12:53 PM

Nookie, Nookie, Nookie, Nookie,Nookie,mushroom, mushroom,
Nookie, Nookie, Nookie, Nookie,Nookie,mushroom, mushroom

adrian on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 1:23 PM

Anyone up for mexican

http://reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtm...mp;section=news

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 2:31 PM

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm.../od_nm/rhino_dc

Marc on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 3:14 PM

VIDEOS OF THE DAY
http://tinyurl.com/22sg9

NOTE: If you want to share these videos with your close friends please feel free to do so. even download them to your computer if you wish. just please don't post to larger well-established sites that might cause too much traffic (ie: fark, ebaumsworld, milkandcookies) because i don't want to take the chance of anything bad happening. Also there can be possible copyright issues even though these are broadcasted free on the airwaves. thanks

(1) More Oddball news: freak animals, crazy dads-to-be, etc

(2) Shadow puppetry at it's best from another site actually(eBaums). but very funny. MUST SEE

(3) Older clip, but so good. best news anchor reaction ever, after lizzard jumps on him. MUST SEE

Enjoy.

Church on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 3:23 PM

Okay, how is Wang Chung one of the ten worst songs of all time. I mean hell, Adrian is all bout Wang Chunging
http://www.louisvillescene.com/movies/thebuzz.html

Bigworm on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 3:27 PM

Burket - Are you still having a cook out on Oaks Day?

KellyHarrison on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 4:43 PM

i think the real question is when are adrian and church going to hook up? they bitch at each other all the time. although your comment on an earlier post does make sense brock. i wonder if an adrian and church dance would be more disturbing than a trip and jay dance? marc and jay should know what i'm talking about.
oh, i won first place in the student photography art show at school. when i get a change i'll post the url so you all can see the picture. when is oaks day? is the parade this week or next week?

Bigworm on Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 9:07 PM

God fucking damn Kellie are you as oblivious with events in this city as Marc is with driving to locations. Oaks Day is AL-FUCKING-WAYS the day before Derby (which is AL-FUCKING-WAYS the first saturday in May). With this being stated, Derby is May 1st (first Saturday in May) and Oaks day is April 30th, this year.

On a side note, I watched 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS tonight, and it was like 1000 times better than the first.

Jay on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:49 AM

I agree 100% Wes. I have another cover that bothers me. What about Elton John's cover of his friggin' song "Candle in the Wind." Although they sounded identical, he should have written a new song for Di, instead of ripping himself off.

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 5:08 AM

Kellie, don't make me call you out like the dumb ass you are. No offense Marc, your girl is crazy! With that being said, I am outty five yo.

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 5:52 AM

Wes - please explain to me why I should take my time to see 2 Fast 2 Furious... I'm really worried that I'll want an hour and a half of my life back.

Oaks is on my birthday this year! Cool.

Xota - Excellent call on the Elton John ho-bag job. There is nothing worse than an artist ripping themself off. Now, with that being said, I would not count acoustic versions such as Eric Clapton.

Adrian - are you already drinking at 8AM?!

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 6:42 AM

Wes, thank you for responding to Kellie for that unbelievable comment because I am absolutely dumbfounded by it and can't come up with anything to do it justice. As for Oaks Day (the day before Derby), I'm still up for a cook-out, but I haven't really given it any more thought. If anyone isn't working or would just like to start drinking early, just let me know. That (the drinking) goes for today too.

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 6:50 AM

Brock, what the hell is all this shit about you being my teacher. I learned how to be a chauvenistic pig all on my own. I'll kick your ass for saying differently since we're reverting back to primal ways of doing things. When I say reverting back to, I mean never left, and by primal I mean being a sexist asshole.

Now that I've said that, does anyone want to read about something funny........women's suffrage.

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:00 AM

Time for one more joke. Earmuffs ladies.

Two men were going on a business trip together. They walked up to the ticket counter at the airport where the woman working had the biggest, most beautiful breasts ever. The first guy steps up and says, “Excuse me, I need to get two pickets to Tittsburg, please”.

The lady was furious and began to unleash her fury ranting that all men only had women’s breasts on their minds. “I’m sorry lady. I meant to say I need two tickets to Pittsburgh.” She called him all sorts of names and the gentlemen eventually got their tickets and walked away.

The first guy was continually kicking himself in the butt for the slip of the tongue. “I can’t understand it I can’t say anything right when I am around a woman. All I ever do is open my mouth and insert feet.”

The second guy tried to console him and said, “Hey man, lighten up. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. Take me for instance, the other night my wife and I were sitting around the supper table. What I meant to say was “Honey, pass the mashed potatoes please.” But, what came out was “You ugly fucking bitch, you ruined my life!”

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:00 AM

Drinking does sound good tonight. I figure only having one beer in the past five days is cutting back so I am up for drinking

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:20 AM

Congradulations lab monkey!! You are now aware of your own existence. I'm very proud of you. The joke is another reminder of your excelling.

Church on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:28 AM

How can you live in Louisville and not know when the fucking Oaks is? Damn

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:53 AM

i'll be out of town for oaks, so i want to make sure we'll be cooking out for the 4th of july. Anyone know when the 4th will be this year?

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:53 AM

Hey Church, you need to quit your fucking cussing you jack ass

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 7:55 AM

The 4th of July is the day before the 5th of July. It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure that one out. BUt seriously now, the 4th of july is on a Sunday..I think

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 8:01 AM

thanks adrian. i haven't figured out how to use this here interweb thing to look stuff up.

Bigworm on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 8:03 AM

Does anyone do thing for Derby? Abby and I are considering a Derby party (have to use the Jagermeister machine), however, if you guys have other plans then we can shoot this idea down right away.

Bigworm on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 8:03 AM

Yes, 4th of July is Sunday, however, it doesn't matter because I am off the 2nd and the 5th.

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 8:29 AM

Do I hear a Wes coming out party? Sounds like a long weekend of boozin' it up in early July!

Marc on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 8:42 AM

I do not want to look like I'm trying to save Kellie. I'm not chivalrist, nice, or even thoughtful. But to back Kellie up, I didn't know or care when Oaks day was either. Yes, I guess that makes me wicked gay. oh well nothing new (ask Brock and Chris,separately). See, I have this thing were I don't listen to people or what they say or find out what's going on around me. I don't read either, short of menus that is (ooooh wicked burn). We all know I don't care for or know any more thatn the basics of sports, and this race is considered that. It's like Nascar but shorter and without the product advertising everwhere. I don't really consider either a sports but a race or competition. Betting I think is the only reason people used to care at all. I never went to the infield for derby, or even did anything for derby to my memory. Been to Churchhill Downs twice in my life. (Derby museum 3 times counting elementary school fieldtrips and Prom) I don't even watch the Derby itself (although i did know it's the 1st saturday in may, i didn't know about Oaks Day) So why should this day that has had no bearing on me....ever.....be something to remember. now if i get ridiculously-drunk and see boobies at the infield then i would know about this holy day i guess. oh well. i know most of you didn't even read this after the first part, so be it. Yes, not knowing when Oaks Day is might mean I love the cock.......but not the horse cock.
Fags

P.S. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:15 AM

Surprised you slackers missed the crappy job GNR did on Paul McCartney's "Live and Let Die" which was on a Bond movie soundtrack.

Joanna on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:16 AM

But Marc, you live in Louisville.....the Derby city! I think car racing is boring and have zero interest in it, but if I lived in Indy, I'm sure I'd know when it was.

Joanna on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:16 AM

It meaning the Indy 500

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:19 AM

I am not even going to bother reading that long ass post of marcs. Anyways, you goign to lunch today

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:20 AM

Sure, Wes, if Abby's going to let you have people over to show off the Jager machine that'd be fine with me. Seriously, though, a Derby party sounds like a better idea if nobody's has prior plans. I just need to know one thing...when's this derby thing again, and it's some sort of race, right?

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 9:55 AM

Who the hell is Tom Jones? I mean I know who Tom Jones the singer is, but who is Tom Jones, the dude who just posted. I think it should be a rule that you have to introduce yourself the first time you post. Otherwise, I just go on rants about people I don't know who they are.

Damn you all for making Derby plans... the Metallica concert is that night, my boss is out of town that week, and its my birthday. But what am I talking about... everyone will puss out anyway.

Whats this World Series thing? Is that a TV show? I hope its a reality show, because I love reality shows so much!

joe on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 10:01 AM

speaking of reasons to drink i graduate may 8th...also, isnt tesla's song signs a remake...it is wicked awesome

Jay on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:16 AM

Tom Jones-I did think of live and let die, but I hate the beatles and paul mcartney, so I didn't consider it a good song in the first place.

You guys really don't have to hate on kellie all the time. I mean, yes, it's wicked funny, and she totally deserves it. Oh wait, this is natty sci. If you say something stupid, it gets thrown back at you ad infinitum. So f*** her if she can't take a joke.

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:22 AM

The smart money is that Tom Jones is one of church's buddies. And likes to be called Tom Jones.

Church on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:30 AM

How did this phantom Tom Jones character get associated with me?

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:33 AM

it's no one that I know. I assumed you linked to our site from one of those weblogs of your buddies, and they posted a comment.

No harm there, we'd just like to know who the hell it is. Speak, oh mysterious Tom Jones!

Church on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:35 AM

Phil, can you track where they are posting from? If so I can tell if I know them. The weblog that linked to this site was deleted this week, so it is a mystery. Maybe it is one of the young boys Brock molested, checking up on Brock and plotting his vengeance

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:40 AM

i haven't set up a proper way to check referals, but i think the e-mail that was signed up was pete something or other.

Church on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:41 AM

Yep, one of my trivia teammates. You were right Phil

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:45 AM

I agree that the Beatles suck. However, Axl Rose has the singing subtlety of a bull in a china shop. He hacked the song. If you had thought of it, then why didn't you just post it and reference that even though you have a strong dislike for the Beatles, Axl and GNR still did a pathetic job on the song.

Speaking of good remakes GNR, did do a good job of covering "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Stones.

Who's Church? Why did his/her parents name them after a building?

KellyHarrison on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:48 AM

adrian, it wouldn't be any fun for me if i was krazy as you would spell it. but remember, i'm not just krazy, i'm a krazy psycho bitch! at least i'm not a plain bitch like you as church would call you at times when you all are calling each other names. it would be boring if i wasn't krazy, i like it better this way! =) the magical kangaroo

Jay on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:55 AM

Tom Jones- You make a valid point. However, the gist of my post was focused towards covers that really piss me off. As I stated before, Paul Mcartney sucks anyway, so I don't care if someone butchers his song. About Sympathy for the devil, GNR's version was decent, but I prefer the Stones'.

Marc on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:04 PM

what about GNR "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" i like it better than drunken Dylan ramblings. no comment on Phil by the Ryan Adams cover on the radio. I mean it's no "Summer of 69" like we're used to, but there should be a response to it. what about the wierd remake of Biz Marque's "You Got What I Need" What about when an artist pulls in another artist to cover or perform one of their popular songs? (ie:Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffet, Fred Durst and Staind guy, Elton John and George Michael, Aerosmith and Run DMC?

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:07 PM

Point taken

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:07 PM

This Tom Jones fella is adding a new dimension of mystery to NattySci.com. Keep up the good work, you old singin' bastard.

Note to self: Harassing Krazy people is a dangerous business, they like to show up with assault rifles at your next drinking party and mow all the insulters down.

Therefore, I'll refrain from jumping on this bandwagon of kraziness!

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:09 PM

Clapton did a great job of "Knockin' on Heavens Door", GNR once again did a shity job

Wrecking Crew on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:13 PM

My fuckng oral is now fucknig finished, and all the fucking surgeons at this fucking school can suck my fucking cock. Who wants to start fucking drinking in about a fucking hour after my fucking grade gets finished? Phil, I let the woman know what's up (she's getting up early and is letting me go out and play) and I think a guys night out tonight is a helluva an idea.

And I happen to fucking like both fucking versions of Live and Let Die, and it's a fucking good movie. So you all can go fuck yourselves.

It's fucking good to vent. I feel so much better now.

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:17 PM

It is a great movie, but I still think Axl is a fuck up for having dismantled GNR. He's an asshole and a fairy for getting a face lift or whatever the hell he did. I got seconds after Vince Neil gets done beating Axl's ass.

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:18 PM

as for harassing kellie, i cite Formosa's Law: "The truly insane have enough on their plates without us adding to it."

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:20 PM

Nothing scarier than Crazy White People, not only do they have the potential to do anything, they can get away with it.

PoisonTongue on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:20 PM

Speaking of remakes... not that this has to do with anything on here... I am desperately searching for the lyrics to Amp Army Feat. AMP (Anger Management Project). They sampled like the entire beat to Seven Nation Army for this song and I cant find the fucking lyrics anywhere and it's driving me bonkers. Plz help.

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:25 PM

Marc, I don't listen to the radio all that much. Are they playing his remake of wonderwall? That'd be odd because I don't think many people picked up the Love is Hell EPs he put out.

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:30 PM

I think I found the lyrics for mysterious PoisonTongue:

Jack Yeah Flip It Surprise 4, 3, 2, Drop! The curtain, my peoples is workin' You peepin toms, yall need to stop lurking You spyin, talkin, eyein, cock locking You don't know the time, Your watch will stop clocking. So we switch hit Hit some other bitches None of yall business, who we wanna chill with And we flip shit Steadily afflicted, Readily equipped with shit to get ya twisted. Oh, you missed it? It's a felony of sickness, the melody ridiculous, You yellin, who ya clique is? [But] But we don't really give a shit kid [Shit] Drinks in hands we landin double fisted [Us] A-M-P is the non ficticious, prey to me and I'll grant you your wishes. [Yes] Misses, milfs and mistresses [That's you] It's not a diss, yo, bitch, it's just [That's true] It's an ode to night life Stain your brain with the load of white stripe [Now]Now you feel where I'm comin from Come and give the drummer some [Prechorus] I'm gonna laugh at yall Why you standin lookin bored, holding up the wall But I ain't mad at yall Cuz I'm an alcoholic too, and I ain't stoppin at all Come on, let's go [Chorus] March to the bar, buy yourself a drink Why we get drunk, it's so we can't think So many problems, more than just one Travelled the world, and girls we trust none Well maybe one, yeah that's wifey Girl to leave my side is not likely Stand strong, let's rock the party, and build the "fam" like a seven nation army Break Yourself From the regular routine, You done fucked up, goin against the regime Can't crush your dreams, we out before that Drop a hardcore track, spit out the war raps Glorious scriptures, repressed these to uplift ya Can't ignore the picture, can't define mixtures Venomous sharpness, swimmin with the sharks' Take you to your darkest hour of life Found a christ, found you on your happiness Made you realize you paid a powerful price Demand our principle, respect and honor Yall can hate, can't crack the armor Now you feel fear, that your karma's gonna get you? Choose right from wrong, yo, it won't sweat you Packin too much heat, while I'm workin my G That's me, A-M-P, kneel down, 6 G [Prechorus] [Chorus] x2 So we switch hit Respect and honor, can't crack our armor And we flip shit Your Karmas gonna get you, it won't sweat you Oh you missed it While I'm workin my G, A-M-P, kneel down, 6 G Us. Yes. You. That's you. Yes. That's you. That's true. Now. Us. Yes. That's you. That's true.

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:33 PM

Could you have just posted the link?

Phil on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 12:47 PM

no.

adrian on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 1:15 PM

Great answer philco

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 1:19 PM

Good ass-kiss Adrian

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 1:21 PM

Wow Adrian, could your face get a little more brown??

Marc on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 1:25 PM

oh it could, but every once in a while Adrian likes to come up for air.

Brock on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 1:57 PM

Its so far up there I can't tell where Phil ends and Adrian begins.

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 3:23 PM

Adrian must like pushing in shit with his tongue

Bigworm on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 3:35 PM

Long live the memory of Sgt. Pat Tillman.

Tonight fellas, there will be a toast to him.
Schweitzer are you coming in tonight?

Tom Jones on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 4:18 PM

Good point. Tillman was a guy's guy, and more to the point an intelligent man with an uncanny philosophy these days for professional athletes.

That guy was a role model

KellyHarrison on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 5:36 PM

girls, come on now, when are we going to have a girls night out? don't think we've had one yet. you all need to stop working so late or too early!

KellyHarrison on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 5:54 PM

http://www.deathclock.com, preacher talked about this site. thought it would be interesting to go to. supposedly i'm going to dye in march 9, 2058. damn, that's a long time. like i believe it anyway, just thought it'd be interesting to check out.

mowgli on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 1:44 AM

NattySci Rules!!!

Tom Jones on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 7:19 AM

Kelly, that web site is bullshit for the simple fact that it asks for your BMI. BMI has been found to be a severly flawed way of telling if someone is overweight or obese. Considering the fact that someone could be extremely muscular and have a BMI over 30, since muscle weighs more than fat, and would be considered obese, for example Slyvester Stallone is considered obese by the BMI. Michael Jordan, given his height and weight was considered overweight by that scale. I believe John Hopkins threw out a study in the AMA to say that BMI is not acurate because it doesn't put into consideration enough factors to give an acurate picture of someone's body fat percentage.

Besides I will outlive you, since I am supposed to die on August 15, 2066.

Phil on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 7:34 AM

has anyone else been reading John Kruk's column on ESPN.com? It's pretty damn entertaining: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...age=kruk/040423

I very well could be still drunk. What the hell is Adrian doing here?

Bigworm on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 7:38 AM

Yeah I heard you fuckers had a good time without me, well I deducted this from Lynnie's voicemail on my phone at 1:00 am.

Anyone doing anything tonight?

Tom Jones on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 7:53 AM

Church has a date

Phil on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 8:01 AM

If church has a date, I guess we can assume were Brock is also indeposed.

Tom Jones on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 8:05 AM

Nope, not Brock this time. It's an actual attractive woman

Brock on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 11:08 AM

Well well... I didn't even have to come into town, and I can tell exactly what happened last night:

Wes pumps everyone up to go out, then bails. Adrian drinks way too much before going out, and then dies at Phil's place. I imagine Wicks was involved. Lynnie got a little tipsy and called up Wes to call him a bitch for bailing on them. And no, I wasn't out with Church, I was here in Cincy, drinking it up. Suckers!

Also... even though I'm a fat bastard, I still live to 93!

Church on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 11:39 AM

Me and Brock, Phil you suck. So how was it sharing a bed with Adrian last night

Tom Jones on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 11:48 AM

Adrian probably gave Phil a rim job

KellyHarrison on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 12:25 PM

tj, (Tom Jones abbreviation)i know it's a fucking stupid website. i just went to it to see what it was about etc. i can't wait till' schools fucking out! especially my fucking cheap ass school that can't afford good photography equipment. can't wait to go to a fucking real one where fuckers have good fucking equipment. ahh, i feel a little better. does the magical kangaroo anyone else wish school was out now? oh chris, good luck on your oral that you took! how much longer do you have in med school anyway? you're lucky you go to a fucking good school! lucky fucking bastard! i wish i went anywhere but where i fucking go!

Bigworm on Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 1:11 PM

Brock - I didn't bail ass......had to figure some things out.

Jay on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 12:35 AM

Wes-hmm...I am tempted to make a smart ass reply, but I don't want to piss you off. We did have an awsome time. And god bless Natty Sci.

Jay on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 12:46 AM

The line "Libby is now recovering from the surgery to remove the balls" could replace libby with doug or wes (sorry wes, I couldn't pass this one up.)

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europ...reut/index.html

Tom Jones on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 8:20 AM

Well Kellie, if you knew is was a retarded web site, why did you feel the need to pass the crap on to everyone else? Also, you really need to watch that fucking mouth of yours. I mean, shit, not everybody wants to hear that bullshit.

Bigworm on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 8:40 AM

Xota - Is that all you got? Pathetic attempt at a wicked burn.

For the record, my marriage is more important than a friday night of drinking, period.

Phil on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 9:25 AM

I thought this was funny, it's just your standard fuck buddy contract: http://www.craigslist.org/eby/rnr/29603165.html

Phil on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 9:35 AM

wow, the bengals just took a guy who's played only five games in his life. he didn't play high school football, and only played five games in 2003 for ole miss.

But he's about 330, runs a 5.0 40 and has a 30"+ vert leap, and was a track star at the discus and hammer. Crazy.

Tom Jones on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 10:31 AM

Yeah, that contract looks good, all you really need is a place to be notarized and it would be legally binding.

Bigworm on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 2:43 PM

Schweitzer and Xota - Just want to let you guys know that I went out and bought the old school monopoly and classic Risk so we can continue our battles.

We also need to get a hold of Axis and Allies.

Brock on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 3:25 PM

Ok, since Wes inspired me, that new version of A&A sounds freakin' awesome! I will need, however, a worthy teammate to handle the power of the Japs. Jay's lackluster performances need to stay with the Brits.

The new game adds artillery and destroyers, plus the national-specific advantages are pretty ingenius. Check it out: http://www.strategypage.com/wargame..._and_allies.asp

KellyHarrison on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 4:10 PM

tj, i can fucking use my mouth to say what ever bullshit i want. i felt like putting the website up so that i could annoy you! ha, ha! just kidding, i just felt like putting it up, really....

adrian on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 5:30 PM

I was so freaking hungover saturday. I stayed in Bed pretty much all day. Yo people, the temperature is finally warming up and we need to throw some football soon. And I'm outty

Jay on Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 10:22 PM

Wes...I was just f***ing around, buddy. I am definitely up for Risk or Monopoly. I would play A&A, but as Brock pointed out, I suck at it.

Tom Jones- Don't tell Kellie not to cuss. Just make fun of her like the rest of us do.

Bigworm on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 6:39 AM

Yeah the new version sounds pretty good and Xota "I'm just fucking with you Ted"

KellyHarrison on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 7:53 AM

wes, i give you props on what you said about your marriage being more important than going out and drinking!
if we go to your house for derby can abby make those margaritas again? i didn't get to drink one on superbowl. just wondering.

Tom Jones on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 1:20 PM

That was a joke about cursing. George Carlin is my uncle, so I was versed well when it comes to profanity.

Kelly, I am sorry you have that much free time to show us all crappy web sites with outdated information.

Wrecking Crew on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 1:41 PM

Damnit, Wes, where the hump are your priorities at? I can't believe you'd do a thing like that: putting your wife above drinking. Come on bro's before ho's, man.

Jay on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 2:42 PM

Wow. I'm not touching that one, chris.

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