I'm afraid of spiders, Coach.

Well crap. I had a cool, witty and just plain sexy post about fantasy football, but I managed to delete the whole thing while trying to fix my terrible grammar. Anyways, here's the details for signing up for fantasy football, coutesy of Brock and Yahoo. In order to join the league, just go to Yahoo Fantasy Football, click the "Sign Up Now" or "Get Another Team" button and follow the links to "Join a Custom League". When prompted, enter the League ID# and password below

League ID#: 104838
Password: crazedbuffalo

So there you go. Right now five people have signed up, so a few more people would make this more interesting. And remember: Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory...lasts forever.

Posted by Phil on July 25th, around dinner time | 234 comments

Comments

Phil on Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 9:04 PM

I had to get the quote right at the end there, so I went to IMDB. Anyways, under trivia it says "During filming, Keanu Reeves was offered a tryout with the Baltimore Ravens."

Man, they were desperate to get rid of Chris Redman.

Bigworm on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 5:53 AM

Yeah I plan on signing up, can't do it at work though. Are we having a live draft this year and do we have to pick defensive players or just the team defense?

Bigworm on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 8:20 AM

The soccer ref had to pop a cap in his ass yo!

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/headli...580&cc=5901

Raul Duke on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 9:08 AM

I'm in for the football, unless its a Natty Sci team thing only?

Phil on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 9:10 AM

Sign on up Raul. The more people the better.

Hey Wes, I've seen the "Man wins Hoosier Lotto jackpot two days after divorce from cheating wife finalized" from the Hoosier Gazette posted as real news on at least three different places today.

Brock on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 9:14 AM

I would like to do the live draft, when you sign up for the league, it will tell you when the draft is. I think I set if for a Sunday evening. I may move it back if we don't have enough people yet.

As per Wes' request, no defensive players, only teams. I thought it was fun, but actually having to pay attention to defense was making people frustrated.

Phil on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 9:19 AM

Hey Lynnie, on AllOfMp3.com do you use your credit card or pay via paypal?

Phil on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 9:48 AM

Hmmm, so I went ahead and signed up. I was trying to get a bunch of my CDs ripped and it was taking freaking forever, and that was just the ones that weren't scratched all to hell. I did a test download and it worked fine...so far.

Green Baron on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 11:01 AM

http://i.myspace.com/99/23/2153299/11267053_l.jpg

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....HA HA HA HA....HA HA...
I think I'm gonna be sick...

Phil on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 11:25 AM

Oh my lord that picture had made my week.

Brock on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 11:56 AM

Speaking of spiders... Michelle is hysterically afraid of daddy-longlegs, are you kidding me? This is all ironic considering my apartment is like some kind of super-entomology lab. This one time, my friend jumped on a fence and said "I'm Spiderman!"

Speaking of fingers in canine anal regions... what did Burket manage to consume. "Dude! That dog is eating your vomit!"

Bigworm on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 1:38 PM

We have heard from several sources that the man winning the lotto story made several newspaper sources and was also mentioned on Howard Stern's radio show today, without mentioning it was fake.

Phil on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 2:03 PM

Well here we go:
http://www.lotterypost.com/news-92201.htm (copied word for word without citing a source)
http://www.news24.com/News24/Backpa...1563268,00.html
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1034385.html

I'm not surprised to see Ananova on the list. Their links are actually banned from fark because they've been caught by Drew multiple times lifting things word for word from fark.com

KellyHarrison on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 4:18 PM

hey, i hate daddy long legs too. they're creepy. discusting little bastards. i had to vacuum a lot of them up at this house that my dad's trying to cell. still feel like they're all over me. speaking of spiders, did you all watch the fear factor where the contestants had to lay in a bed of scorpians?

KellyHarrison on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 4:24 PM

http://www.nbc.com/Fear_Factor/tale...rpion_pit.shtml

mowgli on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 6:59 AM

Phil, i use PayPal. it's more secure. besides i only use credit cards for prostitutes. i mean nooooo!!!

Joanna on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 7:53 AM

is anyone else ready for this week to be over?

Phil on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 8:10 AM

time will stand still until thursday for me.

I looked into the credit card. it goes through a pretty standard credit card company here in the US, so that's probably just as safe as anything else. And I used my debit card, so good luck getting anything out of that.

Brock on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 8:11 AM

I'm always ready for the week to be over, right on Monday!

I'm probably coming in Sunday and Monday this week for various reasons, so I may be able to contribute to the trivia session next week.

Green Baron on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 2:04 PM

Remember the Fear Factor where the contestants had to get naked and do a turn on the catwalk?

Phil, you got a link to that one....the NSFW kind?

Bigworm on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 4:15 PM

Joe - found this job on monster.com

http://jobsearch.monster.com/getjob...&fn=&q=

KellyHarrison on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 4:32 PM

Jokaroo.com Funny Newsletter - July 27th, 2004

---------
Read your Horoscope...
I read my horoscope and I almost fell out of my chair, it was so real!
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/6
<a href="http://www.msnjokes.com/g/6"> horoscope </a>
---------

1. Geeks and Rednecks
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/705
<a href="http://www.msnjokes.com/g/705"> Geeks and Rednecks </a>

2. Parallel Lines
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/704
<a href="http://www.msnjokes.com/g/704"> Parallel Lines </a>

3. Barbie dolls naked
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/706
<a href="http://www.msnjokes.com/g/706"> Barbie dolls naked </a>

- This post was posted by 'KingBuddha' on jokaroo.com's message board.

Weird Fact of the Day:
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.

---
Best Regards,
Team Jokaroo.com

To unsubscribe from our newsletter, visit here
http://list1.jokaroo.net/cgi-bin/un...ub.pl?id=645845
<a href="http://list1.jokaroo.net/cgi-bin/un...45845"> visit here </a>

If you have received this message in error or you received duplicates,<br>you may easily unsubscribe from our daily

newsletter above or mail our postal address:

Jokaroo Entertainment, Inc.
160-2 County Court Blvd.
Suite 425, Brampton, ON
Canada L6W 4V1

KellyHarrison on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 4:39 PM

i got a job at kroger one hour photo department. they said they would give me twenty to forty hours a week. finally, real hours!

KellyHarrison on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 4:37 AM

1. A Kid Saying Phuck You!
http://www.jokesaroo.com/g/708

sorry, just thought you all would enjoy some of these.

Green Baron on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 8:39 AM

HA HA HA
Jokaroo Entertainment, Inc.
160-2 County Court Blvd.
Suite 425, Brampton, ON
Canada L6W 4V1

That jokaroo company is from Canada! That's freakin' hilarious. Canadians and their silly humor....

What do you call an annoying, stupid, dirty Canadian? Answer - Celine Dion.

How many dirty smelly apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer - 3, one dirty smelly ape to screw in the bulb, and 2 dirty smelly apes to throw feces at each other.

joe on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 9:59 AM

if you cooked any slower you wouldnt be cooking very fast at all

wait a minute that isnt very funny at all

if you cooked any slower you wouldnt need an egg timer you'd need an egg calendar


hahahahaahahaa

i'm priceless

Brock on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 10:36 AM

Thank you steward. Wiggles? Weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?

Fine, I've got a toast. To Captain Bender! He's the best...at being a big jerk and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt.

Eh, I've heard better.

Courtesy of http://www.geocities.com/theneutralplanet

Green Baron on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 10:41 AM

Hey Look! I'm writing naughty language!

POPPYCOCK

Dween on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 12:02 PM

tinyurl won't work, so click this:

http://www.worth1000.com/cache/cont...play=multimedia

I entered an animation contest, and Phil recommends viewing my entry. Since voting is still going, I can't say which one is mine. But here's a hint: My parents aren't getting a divorce.

Bigworm on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 12:31 PM

For anyone who gives a rats ass,

Bored here at work and decided to see if Alex Winter worked at all since the blockbuster "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey". As you can tell from his work history, nothing but star status since the role of Bill S. Preston, Esq. In his most recent roles, he plays a subway passenger and a T.V. gangster, this is just too much.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935664/

Green Baron on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 12:41 PM

He directed that movie that he was the subway passenger....

In fact, most of the work he's been doing has been behind the camera since Bill and Ted. (I was bored about a year ago and did the same research)

Ha ha ha, I'm more bored than you are!

Green Baron on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 1:19 PM

What we've all been waiting for....
http://shopping.yahoo.com/p:Knight%...5MTE1BHNlYwNzcg--

Brock on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 2:06 PM

Baron, get to work, and stop spilling radioactive material all over the lab!

Brock on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 2:30 PM

A recent review of the site stats shows some interesting search terms:

what should i eat for lunch - Adrian and Marc can recommend many dining locales
mindy sex - ask Phil
teabaging - The Baron can help you out with this desire
bangedup paris hilton - Wes, you sick bastard!
mindy date - We should create a link to Dr. Phil Scott's corner
mindy sleeping - ok, this is starting to get scary
tony bobbit jerseys - Let me know when you find one!
meet mindy
mindy making - I'm seeing a pattern here
i hate marquette - Screw you Diener!
marc amick - WTF?
got flashed penis - Jay! What have you been doing?
jagerbombs and sex - NattySci is your Source!

Bottom line - NattySci.com is where everyone goes to find out more about Mindy.

Brock on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 2:32 PM

Since the inspiration of this post was Fantasy Football... I figured I would reiterate that we need some more people sign up before the Burket brothers go nuts and start creating crazy teams.

The live draft was originally scheduled for this Sunday, but I moved it back 2 weeks so we can fill the league up to about 10 or more.

Come on! Come on, come on, come on, com,com,com on! COME ON!

Phil on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 2:49 PM

holy crap, mindy IS in there a lot. My only thought is that someone got really bored at work and started typing stuff into the little box for a search, because those phrases still show up as finding the site from google.com. I mean, if you try some of those searches I can tell you that NattySci.com doesn't come up before the 30th page.

But who in the hell would actually do a search for "mindy and jay?" I think Mindy has a stalker that is using the search box. Little does this stalker know that Mindy might visit the site once every two weeks. Way to suck at the internet, stalker.

Phil on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 2:51 PM

BTW, I actually went to the eye doctor. To quote that one dude, "you'd think get perfect vision would be near the top of the todo list." Turns out I have an astigmatism. The lens I got had to be special made. I got the featherweight and the anti-glare lens, and combined with the curve I guess they need to be made not-within an hour.

stew on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 9:24 PM

This is for all those who are debating what to do with all the extra time they have on their hands; http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/Toron.../28/559745.html
BTW, for all who may be Yankee's fans, Carlos Delgado will never be yours!! Ha ha!

KellyHarrison on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 11:58 PM

http://www.sirsearch.com/index.cfm?...&argstring=


did a search on mindy and jay out of pure boredom at three in the morning and found a lot actually. but just decided to get this site posted.

i got paid for sitting on my ass for five and a half hours today at kroger on the computer. nice!

Brock on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 5:43 AM

Phil, do you think the slow deterioration of your vision may have something to do with staring at a computer screen for 6-8 hours a day?

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 6:28 AM

i'm going to say it's a safe bet to say staring at a screen hasn't helped.

and ever since they did that damn test it's been freakin' worse. know that I know what my vision could be, this stupid screen is waving all over the place. not really.

But the astigmatism probably does explain why when I read I sometimes miss lines or merge two sentances together. I just thought I was dislexic or something.

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 6:30 AM

err, kellie, why do you go to sirsearch.com? I'm going to say you've got some nasty spyware on your computer from visiting porn sites or something.

I'd recommend downloading AdAware (http://www.download.com/3000-2144-1...&tag=button) and running it ASAP.

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 6:32 AM

oh, and everyone else, don't click on kellie's link. I'm willing to bet it has the internet's equivalent of herpies.

In fact, if everyone is bored today, just download that AdAware and run it. It'll take a long time to complete. The winner will be the one with the most crap found. My money is on Kellie's machine based on her complaints of her computer acting retarded.

adrian on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 6:47 AM

Good luck on the interview philco...you blind bastard!

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 8:33 AM

back from the interview. much more laid back than I was expecting.

Here's the gist of it:
Them: "We have a lot of interesting and challenging projects, doing things that not many people have done. Are you ok with that? "
My thought: "So my work will be interesting, rewarding and enjoyable? Hmmm, I was really hoping for the mundane and tedious. Sike"
My mouth: "Sounds great."

Bigworm on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 8:40 AM

The Burket brothers and myself were the only ones representing the Sci at Hooters last night. The all you can eat wings are pretty damn good. 200 wings later and a pitcher of Killian's, we finally decided to leave. I am sure my cholesterol has sky rocketed from last night alone.

For the record we should change Chris's name from the Wrecking Crew to the Wing Eating Machine.

Brock on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 9:25 AM

Who doesn't know Burket can consume meat like a $5 whore? Remember Hops, he single-handedly put them out of business with their "all-you-can-eat" ribs on Mondays. ::tear:: I really miss ribs night.
May I recommend the "Crew Wrecking Wings and Ribs," or "C-Dubs"

If anyone hasn't seen this, liberal or conservative, you'll love it! http://www.jibjab.com/
Imagine this: John McCain and Howard Dean running together... now thats crazy with a K!

Anyone up for another jount to Hooters on Sunday night? I'll be sweeping into town for a couple of days.

adrian on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 9:47 AM

How in the hell can 3 people eat two hundred wings?

joe on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 10:18 AM

my stomach hurts....who is up for dollar beers at the riverbats tonight?

joe on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 10:19 AM

better yet 60 cent beers at genny's before going to dollar beer at the bats? its fucking genius

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 10:35 AM

I think the plan is for trivia at O'Shea's...

Phil on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 10:38 AM

Once again, NattySci.com was your source for unsubstantiated sports rumors. Ricky Williams was facing a four game suspension for failing a drug test: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/...tory?id=1848492

Of course Ricky says that drugs aren't the reason for retiring, but I'm sure he was sick of taking tests and trying to cheat them.

Wrecking Crew on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 10:43 AM

you eat 200 wings y stuffing them down as fast as you can after not eating uch of anything all day. then gorge yourself until you can't walk anymore then eat a few more. wings, beer, boobs, and baseball...it doesn't get much better than that.

joe, we going to lift or go to the game

Church on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:17 AM

Phil how many are playing on your trivia team this evening

mowgli on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:31 AM

what time is trivia?

adrian on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:31 PM

Matt Church is a mother fucking Beatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jay on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:43 PM

I don't see any connection between Mindy and I, considering she hates me. Not that I don't deserve it. Speaking of which, I had a dream last night that I was showering with Lindsey Lohan. And I got to see her boobies. But they were smaller in my dream than in real life. Does that make me gay?

Marc on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:06 PM

No phil. That dream does not make you gay. It is just a coincidence... since you are already wicked gay.

Marc on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:07 PM

err, i mean Jay is wicked gay. Like I really had to clarify that. Everyone knows that man loves the hard salomy and other meats.

Brock on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:10 PM

I don't think it makes you gay, Xota, just a little less of a man, or maybe a connoisseur of small boobies, you pussy!

Bring on the hate Adrain!

I noticed a schism taking place tonight: Trivia or Baseball? Both involve beer, so maybe it isn't that big of a deal. The question is, who goes where? My predictions:

Trivia: Adrian and Marc (life-partners), Phil (obsessed with trivia), and Lynnie

Baseball: Burket boys (no-brainer), Wes (likes to heckle people), and Lynnie (will find out Wes is going to the game, and change his plans... this is your advance notice Trivia guys, Lynnie won't be coming).

Jay - at home flogging it

mowgli on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:10 PM

oh so no one's gonna answer a mother fucker...bitches!!!

Brock on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:12 PM

To append my previous post:

Jay will be at home flogging it to little-tittied girls or dudes, whichever.

adrian on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:14 PM

Trivia is at 7:30

Green Baron on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 1:25 PM

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...saddam_s_health

Just so everyone knows...Saddam is regularly getting fingers jammed in his ass. I also enjoy the bit that he is doing well health-wise, that "he's even shed a few pounds while in US custody".
He he he....I'm sure he's working out and watching his weight, and going for morning jogs....
"yah....you like that? Don't ya bitch?"

KellyHarrison on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 6:40 PM

http://www.liftingthefog.com/predictions04.htm


Green Baron on Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 7:09 PM

After you run adaware Kelly, I would go here:

www.persiankitty.com

Not only do these sites not contain any ad-installing software, but it is also free! Therefore you won't have to worry about your computer going schizo on you anymore!

Dween on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 4:20 AM

I have 2 tickets to the Mike Tyson fight tonight, Section 236, Row P. Here's a link to a diagram of Freedom Hall to see where that is for yourself:

http://www.kyfairexpo.org/facilityi...lldiagram.ihtml

The tickets are valued at $800.00 for the pair. I will take a lower price for them. Of course, I'll take a higher price for them as well. Hurry, make an offer!

Bigworm on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 6:18 AM

Quitters!

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...alcoholism_dc_2

adrian on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 6:35 AM

I got Mike Tyson in 2 rounds tonight!

Plow King on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 6:41 AM

I'll give you $7 and the stapler on my desk. It IS a Swingline.

Brock on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 6:58 AM

Ok fuckers, and in fuckers I mean Adrian, Wes, and Lynnie... sign up for the football league!

Bigworm on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 7:00 AM

I plan on signing up fag, I just can't do it here at work. That is my excuse and I am sticking with it.

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 9:47 AM

Kellie, nothing personal, but I think most of us already get too many joke of the day type newsletters in our e-mails, so I'm going to delete that post.

Of course, if you find something really funny, feal free to post it.

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 9:50 AM

How the hell did you get tickets for the fight, James?

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 9:57 AM

I like how they are going to approve the drug, even though nobody knows why it works.

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 10:28 AM

Has anyone seen the trivia section of Anchorman on IMDB? Here's the highlights:
The film makers compiled so many extra scenes and sub-plots that a second film entitled "Wake Up Rob Burgundy" is planned for release on DVD at a later date.

Adam McKay has said that in the first draft of the script, the story was about a planeload of news anchors who crash in the mountains and discover that the plane which they collided was carrying monkeys and martial arts equipment, leading to a battle between cannibalistic newsmen and star-throwing monkeys.

joe on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 10:36 AM

hey phil have you read the sports guys femail bag II yet?

does anybody have reaction to this question from the sports guys pae?
What is the cutoff age of young female celebrities for guys not to be considered total "pervs" in thinking they are hot? For example, a lot of my male friends looove Lindsay Lohan. Now that she just turned 18 and is "legal," does this make their obssesion with her non-taboo? Or, should age only be a secondary factor, combined with how old the actresses appear to look along with the age of the male in question?

Bill Simmons is the frickin man!!

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 10:42 AM

That Meg Hart cracks me up. " Christina Aguilera's bald spots add a level of sexiness and intrigue"

Brock on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 11:10 AM

Anyone up for a trip to Cincy tonight? Jillian's is doing a $20 cover for the Tyson fight which includes 1 game of bowling, unlimited video games, 1 hour of pool, 5 drinks, access to the dance tower, and a free shot at kicking the Big Show's ass. Starts at 5, but the fight isn't until 9, and its open until 3. I have a pullout and air mattress to crash on. Plus, if you have Phil drive, you can be here in 45 minutes.

Plow King on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 12:40 PM

If you're willing to go by yourself, there's still at least one ringside ticket left. Of course it will cost you $1500. And that doesn't include the $40 TM convenience charge.

Plow King on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 1:06 PM

And everybody should take the opportunity to visit Cincinnati while they can. And Cleveland, Dayton, and Columbus for that matter. Pretty soon, they're all going to be overrun with transsexual homicidal incestual yokels who like to beat off to bull dogs fucking their grandmothers.

http://www.slate.com/id/2104533/

Marc on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 2:52 PM

VIDEOS OF THE DAY
http://tinyurl.com/68rhm

NOTE: If you want to share these videos with your close friends please feel free to do so. even download them to your computer if you wish. just please don't post to larger well-established sites that might cause too much traffic (ie: fark, ebaumsworld, milkandcookies) because I don't want to take the chance of anything bad happening. Also there can be possible copyright issues even though these are broadcasted free on the airwaves. thanks

(1) Rare toaster found at garage sale for $20 sold on eBay for $5,000.

(2) Jimmy Kimmel's cousin Sal annoys people at the One Hour Photo store.

(3) Ipods for incoming freshmen

(4) Amazing boxing knockouts

(5) Harold and Kumlar Go to White Castle could have been different. They were originally to go to Krispy Kreme, but the passed on the movie connection. White Castle is very happy to be a part of the movie.

Enjoy.

Phil on Friday, July 30, 2004 at 6:06 PM

At bat songs for the American League. I assume they'll have the NL soon...

Jay on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 9:40 AM

Last night I realized that women are evil and hate everything that is pure and good with the world.

"We just saw the worst movie ever. Don't bother to see Anchorman."

My jaw hit the floor and my heart stopped. I literally almost died.

jen on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 11:45 AM

You have to admit that Anchorman didn't live up to expectations. I thought it was a classic case of a movie with most of the funny parts being in the previews. But then again, I'm evil and I hate all that is pure and good in the world by nature...

Worst movie ever? No... Worth seeing again? Definitely not

KellyHarrison on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 12:08 PM

1. Look at these Dumbasses!
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/733

KellyHarrison on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 5:11 PM

1. Seks From Around the World
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/739
this is the last one i'll put. i thought it was funny though, a little wrong, but oh well.

Dween on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 6:42 PM

It's past due, but...

I won the tickets on the radio. w00t w00t.

And I wanted to bet $100 on Williams to win... but I don't know any bookies. DAMN IT!

Jay on Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 8:32 PM

Yes, you are evil.

Bigworm on Sunday, August 01, 2004 at 10:19 AM

Sorry fellas for not making it out this weekend, basically slept all weekend because I was tired. Also, Abby is leaving me again for the week so if anyone wants to hang out my crib is available since Daisy and I are living the bachelor's life! Who knows, maybe the jagermeister machine will be let out of its box again.

Also, trying to convince Abby that I need another dog but I am losing this battle big time.

Bambi - how is foxy Roxy doing?

KellyHarrison on Sunday, August 01, 2004 at 12:13 PM

is the villiage any good? know i spelled that wrong, but i'm in a hurry.

Phil on Sunday, August 01, 2004 at 12:34 PM

I think the real question is whether or not it would take more time to fix your spelling of the Village or type in "know i spelled that wrong, but i'm in a hurry."

Phil on Sunday, August 01, 2004 at 8:22 PM

A request for Marc: do you think you can drum up a copy of the "I need more fucking ballons!" clip? I've seen bits and pieces of it, but I just need more fucking ballons.

Bigworm on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 5:31 AM

Phil, Fark had the audio of that clip on friday.

Phil on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 6:32 AM

I saw that audio link (actually, I saw it on Drudge), but I was hoping to see it with the ballons. Go balloons!

Phil on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 6:44 AM

http://www.homestarrunner.com/disk4of12.html

Peasant's Quest! Here's the trailer for those who missed it: http://www.homestarrunner.com/pqtrailer.html

And I forgot if I posted this already, but Strong Sad and the Cheat directed a video for They Might be Giants's song Expiramental Film which cracked my ass up: http://www.homestarrunner.com/expfilm.html

Phil on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 8:42 AM

pretty funny ad for some potato chips: http://www.joykicksdarkness.com/Pos...ards_advert.mpg

Bigworm on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 12:15 PM

So fellas, how was 4th street live the other night?

Who all is making it up to trivia this evening? I am going to try to get up there tonight, but since Abby is out of town it is unlikely, due to Daisy. However, if anyone wants to hang out or do something give me a call.

Phil on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 12:43 PM

I'll be at trivia, but probably won't be going out late tonight. Blasphemy, I know.

4th street live kinda sucked balls. There was what looked like an hour long wait to get into Parrot Bay @ 2am. And from what I could tell, not that many people up there. My thought is that they are creating false hype. Artificially create a line, causing people to arrive early to avoid the line, and be afraid to leave because coming back in would be a bitch. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'm sure as hell not standing in line for an hour to get into a bar.

stew on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 12:43 PM

If anyone is off work (or unemployed) and has nothing to do between now and trivia, they are welcome to come over, drink cold beer and get their ass stomped at ESPN 2k5.

Phil on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 1:24 PM

holy crap, i just came back from the sprint store (I dropped my phone and now the #9 key and the menu doesn't work). That place was packed with hate. People giving excuses on why their phone was turned off, people complaining about the amount of minutes they talked, and people just giving the sales people a hard time. There must have been 40 people in this small store. The worst part was that they had three seperate places with people were behind a counter. One station was manned by two ladies, it had the longest line. On the other side of the room, was another lady with only 5 people in line. And finally, some guy sitting at a desk. Of course, no signs indicating if one line was for buying stuff or if it was for bitching about your baby's daddy not paying for your phone.

I just walked out. As annoying as not being able to do anything but answer the phone, and dial people in my address book is, it's a lot better than spending another 15 minutes to people beg for their cell phone because their child support didn't come this month.

stew on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 1:29 PM

Wow! I just had the exact same experience at the Cingular store.

Plow King on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 1:38 PM

I just switched service to T-Mobile from Sprint. I used Sprint for about 5 years, and time and time again they pissed me off. Anytime there was an issue and things could go my way or theirs, it always went theirs. Heard of customer service?

Anyhow I figured now that the "Portability Act" (whatever it's official name is) had been in effect for a while, things should go smoothly moving my number to a new carrier... and they did. I was told it may take anywhere from 24-72 hours for my number to be moved. It took only 5 and a half. Easy as pie.

KellyHarrison on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 4:46 PM

got my cell stolen last night at captains quarters. i called it first and they wouldn't talk to me. then my friend jennifer that has grown up in the ghetto (east Ky. street) calls them and punks them out. of course they don't own up to it and just throw my phone away. which it was/is a piece of crap anyway, but it still makes me mad. i was so freakin' heated last night! if i would've found a cell phone i would've taken it to lost and found or at least seen if they had a home number in there, called them and returned it. bastards! oh well, at least i get a better phone now, hopefully. if anyone is interested in going up to captains's quarters on friday, it's my friend jennifer's 23rd b-day and we're going up there to celebrate. anyone is more than welcome. just thought i'd let you know. so, how was everyone else's weekend?

Wrecking Crew on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 7:38 PM

If anyone wants to do something fun Friday night instead of going to Captain's Quarter, Skynard and Charlie Daniel's are going to be in concert on the Waterfront. Joe and I were planning on sitting just outside the gates to listen with a cooler of beer, as opposed to paying 25 bucks for tickets. Sorry kelly, but Skynard tops just about anything to do in Louisville on the weekend.

Brock on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 8:24 PM

You know Burket has been in Alabama for a while when he swears the best thing in Louisville is a Skynard concert.

Don't get me wrong... I like Skynard, especially when the Crazed Buffalo belts a few chords, but come on... Louisville does have other interesting things to offer...
like Hikes Point Lounge.

Is Church a doctor yet?

KellyHarrison on Monday, August 02, 2004 at 11:33 PM

yeah, you're right about that. but i promised my friend i would go for her birthday. so i'm ont gonna back out. let me know how it is if you all go see skynard or what ever. is fourth street live worth going to? i've only been there once, but very briefly.

Plow King on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 5:40 AM

http://whitehousewest.com/

Phil on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 7:36 AM

anyone else seeing a Nike Michael Vick ad on the article about Marcus Vick being a no good pot head? http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/...tory?id=1851263

Church on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 8:41 AM

Brock, would that I were a doctor. I have an MA now and will be starting an M.Ed program in the fall. I will ultimately get a Phd but I don't know if it will be in history or education

Jay on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 8:54 AM

For shame, Burket! I can't believe you misspelled Lynrd Skynrd! I would expect it from Kellie, but you? Speaking of which, I found this article on a Skynrd show in Louisville from 2000. Seems as though some people in our fair city don't want to be thought of as drunken rednecks.

http://www.bigmagic.com/pages/black.../column53b.html

KellyHarrison on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 9:13 AM

2. Yummy Naked Woman
http://www.msnjokes.com/g/757
enjoy.....

joe on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 10:53 AM

fuck fourth street!!!!

so should i take this job that will pay me to go train in st petersburg florida for 8 weeks on how to manage a restaurant that makes burritos and has a line of hot sauces called smack my ass and call me sally?

they use this ingredient to make some of their sauces-
Capsicum (the ingredients used in police pepper spray)

this place is called tijuana flats and is "like qdoba but better"

these are a few names of their 500 hot suaces
Blair's Possible Side effects
Crazy Jerry's Mustard Gas
Ass in Antarctica
Ass in Hell
Ass in Space
Ass in the Tub
Ass Reaper
Blair's Death Sauce
Blair's Sudden Death
Blair's Mega Death
Crazy Jerry's Biker Trash
Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage
Crazy Jerry's Devils Brew
Heinie Hurtin Hot
Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally Habanero Hot Sauce
Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally Jalapeno Hot Sauce
Honey Where Da Hell is My Sauce
Don't Be Chicken Sh!t Mexican Hot Sauce
Slap Heard Around The World!! Hot Sauce
colon blow
ass reaper

http://www.tijuanaflats.com/ourstory.htm

if you read this it will explain why being an alcoholic in college pays off

joe on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 10:56 AM

http://www.tijuanaflats.com/ads.htm

please look at this advertising campaign and critique it for me..i think it is pretty good

jen on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 11:30 AM

Advertising... my favorite

It depends on where the ads will be placed. If they are in-store ads (which would make me wonder why the phone number and address are on the bottom of the ad) then they would be sufficient. But, if they are print ads for newspaper then they should use a different, clearer font for the address and phone number and make the logo bigger at the bottom. Good use of the white-on-black for the logo, too. They should probably make the pictures slightly smaller. Looks like any writing at the top of the page gets lost because of the size of the pictures.

They should choose to catch attention with EITHER the picure OR the caption, but not have both be huge on the page. The longer the paragraph, the smaller the size on the picture. Or just put more space between the picture and the captions, especially at the top.
(okay, so I hate the huge pictures... can you tell?)

The billboard ads look good, except the middle one with the soldier doesnt include the logo, which would be a good idea for people glancing at it as they drive by.

I like the "Please eat responsibly" and the "fresh/not fresh" ads because the words are part of the ad vs. the pictures with captions. I think the ads are pretty good in general though.

And, of course you should do anything that pays you to hang out in florida for 8 weeks. But I must say, I've never heard of anything good that is associated with Tijuana... But who knows? Maybe "ass reaper" and "colon blow" could change all that

joe on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 12:27 PM

i'm getting paid to learn to make burritos in st pete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Bigworm on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 2:04 PM

Joe - there is a job on Bellarmine's Career Center page. Just sort the jobs for mathematics and i t hink it was a government job posted on 8-2-04.

Bigworm on Tuesday, August 03, 2004 at 2:13 PM

Just to let people know. Hooters has all you can eat wings on Wednesday, 5pm till close (midnight). I am wanting to head up there, if anyone else wants to go let me know.

adrian on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 5:53 AM

Allright, this really pisses me off about the United States Basket ball players. I am referring about pussies named T-Mac, Carter, O'neal etc. I cannot believe they wouldn't play on the Olympic team. We took an ass ramming by the fucking italians of all people. And next we play the piece of shit germans who have Novitiski playing for them. Here we are paying our superstars 100 million + dollars and they cannot even represent America. Well Fuck them up their stupid asses and they should be booed when playing regular season ball.

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 5:55 AM

I'm up for some wings. Give me a call. I won't be knocking them back like Burket though.

The other plan is to see Napoleon Dynamite at 9:50 at the Baxter Avenue Theatres. Some guy on IMDB's review gave it 0/10 stars and said "It's the latest in manufactured geek-chic, ripping off the static wonderment of Wes Anderson, the sympathetic teenage humiliation of Paul Feig's 'Freaks and Geeks,' and the pointless nostalgia viper's nest of VH1's, 'I Love the 80s.'"

Sounds good to me.

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:03 AM

Are you saying T-mac, Vince Carter and O'Neal would have actually played defense? The USA shot 54 percent from the field, and had a 37-19 advantage in rebounding. Sounds like the offense and size were already there. The Italians were 15/35 from three point range - there's your kicker. The US needs someone to knock down some threes and not get freaked by someone running an offense that consists more than a two man game while everyone else clears out.

adrian on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:28 AM

I am saying T-Mac, ONeal and Carter is your offense. That is 60 plus points right there

Brock on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:40 AM

I think they needed to get their asses kicked some. I'm sure Germany will whip on them too. Its about time that these whiny pussy NBA players eat some shit. It may also make some people realize that playing team ball, like going to college, may actually improve your TEAM! Ball-hogs from high school going to the NBA will still be ball-hogs, and when they play a real TEAM, they lose. I admit, most of the time, individual skill will prevail because its so ridiculous, but its times like these I like to sit back and laugh at Iverson chasing down greasy Italians knocking down threes in his eye.

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:50 AM

Bullshit, T-mac, O'Neal and Vince Carter are not that much better than Lebron, Tim Duncan and Dwyane Wade. You might get an extra 8 points out of them, and you still lose by double digits. What they need is someone like Michael Redd or Rip Hamliton to knock down some outside shots and break the zone. Hell, even Reggie Miller would help out here.

Brock on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:54 AM

Or Chris Mullin

Rumage on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:59 AM

The USA team's defense was nonexistant, coupled with the 5 or so unintentional bank shot 3 pointers the Italians hit. I think the NBA's inability to call traveling hurt the USA team too. They had better get their shit together or the Olympics, from a basketball standpoint, will be painful to watch.

Rumage on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 7:00 AM

They just need some fucking defense and some pure outside shooters.

Marc on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 7:40 AM

VIDEOS OF THE DAY
http://tinyurl.com/5rz4q

NOTE: If you want to share these videos with your close friends please feel free to do so. even download them to your computer if you wish. just please don't post to larger well-established sites that might cause too much traffic (ie: fark, ebaumsworld, milkandcookies) because I don't want to take the chance of anything bad happening. Also there can be possible copyright issues even though these are broadcasted free on the airwaves. thanks

(1) REQUESTED: CNN broadcasts a bad word. "Balloons, Balloons, Go Balloons. What the fuck are you guys doing up there?"

(2) Bill Maher and Michael Moore are down on there knees, literally, begging Ralph Nader not to run in the election

(3) Rep. David Dreier question Michael Moore on the accuracy on his film. Note: if you are going to do this it helps your argument to see the movie to know specifically what you are saying is wrong.

(4) Jon Stewart shows how Al Sharpton gets bashed by DNC commentators more than anyone else.

(5) Daily show correspondants look for controversy at the DNC

(6) John Edwards: Making Friends

(7) A compilation of Letterman's "Bushism's"

(8) Jon Stewart give advice on how to watch political conventions.

Enjoy.

Marc on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 8:38 AM

if you didn't notice, all the above videos are politically-related but are funny for both sides, in my opinion.

Check this out
http://whitehousewest.com
Will Ferrell in a new ad campaign as President George W. Bush once again.

Green Baron on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 8:54 AM

So here is a list of movies/DVD's I recently purchased.
1. Knight Rider, the complete first season, highly recommended; I'm gonna get the astroglide ready for tonight.
2. Outfoxed - also highly recommended, but I know many would rather close their eyes. If you want to know more or my personal review about it, feel free to e-mail me at Republicansmustdie@; oh wait....let's try again, houstoib at hotmail
3. Scanners - A cronenberg classic
4. They live - Also a cronenberg classic, except with Roddy Piper.....except without the kilt.
5. Nothing But Trouble - Should have been Cronenberg, but it was Ackroyd impersonating Cronenberg, with Demi Moore when she was young and hot, not old lady, fake boobs, hot.

4 of those DVD's would, alone, make one hell of a collection, and I'm quite proud of it.

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 9:05 AM

The Sports Guy on the "Dream" Team: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...=simmons/040804

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 10:32 AM

The sports guy's inclusion of Brian Cardinal catapults Brian into the "I hate you, but goddamn do i respect you" hall of fame btw.

Brock on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 10:41 AM

Brian Cardinal also falls into the Giant Elbow Pads are Cool - until you go pro, and then you just take the bruises like a man.

I like addition of Corey Haim, that drugged-up has been would definitely add some flava.

Phil on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 10:46 AM

More comedy from Page2 (for those who collected baseball cards): http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...e=vecsey/040804

Bigworm on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 12:58 PM

Joe - here is a job for you.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europ...r.ap/index.html

Bigworm on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 4:40 PM

Brock - I signed up today for fantasy football. Here is my question though, should we allow more players on a team? Some teams will have bye weeks, also allowing 2 defenses per team is a good idea too.

KellyHarrison on Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 6:17 PM

not that anyone cares, but got a new cell phone (cingular). number is 810-7498. can actually send and recieve text messages, use the internet. all i don't have is the picture phone. i can get some kind of an sim card or something and easily have it though anytime i wanted from what i read in the booklet.

Phil on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 7:04 AM

so what was the final count on the wings?

Bigworm on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 7:19 AM

The 3 of us ate 255 wings, plus I ate the remainders you left on your plate. That breaks down into 85 wings apiece plus your remainders for me.

Phil on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 7:23 AM

Holy crap beans. I ate a whopping 30 and had some crazy ass dreams. Eight-five would probably kill me.

I for one welcome our wing eating overlords.

Green Baron on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 7:50 AM

I'm surprised no one caught it....oh wait, no I'm not, I'm like the male Kelly and no one reads my messages.
Anyway, They Live was a John Carpenter film. I don't know what I was thinking....and I know you don't care....actually, I don't care, nor do I care that you don't care that I don't care. Nor....you get the point.
I can't believe I made such a mistake....I hang my head in shame.

Marc on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 7:52 AM

holy shit, can your body breakdown that many wings? did they plead for mercy after your 7th plate?

Bigworm on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 8:24 AM

They Live is one of the most underrated movies of our time.

Green Baron on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 8:45 AM

No man can eat 50 eggs....

So I've already enjoyed 3 hours of Knight Rider goodness....mmmmmmm......

How can you guys eat Buffalo Wings? "I don't eat Buffalo." - Jessica Simpson

Some one want to give me the low-down on the Kerry campaign censoring Sharpton's speech, and then cutting his teleprompter to get him to shut up? Is this overhyped, or is there an O'Reilly factor within the Kerry campaign? Someone make me want to vote for this guy again, please...

Phil on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:32 AM

hooters wings are not buffalo wings.

Plow King on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:47 AM

They shut his teleprompter off because he went way over his alloted time (one report I read said he went over by 20 minutes). Since they didn't have an orchestra handy, they just shut his teleprompter off.

Marc on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:49 AM

i don't agree with them cutting of sharpton even though he was scheduled to go 6 minutes and did 20 and differed from his submitted speech. good for him it was still good. but since the networks want to run their other great programming which is more important that this election race (ie: Last Comic Standing, Extreme Makeover and Trading Spouses) Scroll up and look at the daily show clip of how commentators convered Sharpton's speech. .
see how much of the convention was covered by the networks here:
http://mediamatters.org/items/200408020002
no wonder PBS and CSPAN had the best viewership as they aired the whole thing without the commentary, so people could actually hear what the candidates and other speakers said.

adrian on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:49 AM

whats the difference between hooter's wings and buffalo wigs besided the name of course?

Plow King on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:54 AM

I believe the main requirement is that they be served with celery and bleu cheese.

Plow King on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:59 AM

Well Sharpton was screwing things up. Political conventions have very tight schedules (and scripts), so him taking more time for himself caused them to have to cancel some other planned activities (http://www.americandaily.com/article/4507).

And that's what CSPAN and PBS are for, unedited, wall-to-wall coverage. The major networks are responsible for providing news (read as "highlights") and commentary. Then people have a choice of what they want to watch (read as "a good thing").

Plow King on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 10:04 AM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,128106,00.html

I can't believe Mark Burnett didn't think of this first.

Phil on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 10:52 AM

well, the way the Burkets and Wes eat them (naked and hot), they are pretty close. Classic buffalo wings are really mostly butter and Tabasco brand sauce with stuff like vinegar and salt mixed in to stick every thing together. Hooters wings have a bunch of flour for breading and some different types of spices than what you'd find in the Tabasco stuff for their own particular brand of wings.

So, you'd never really say "Hooter's Buffalo Wings" because you'd be talking about two types of wings. It's like when people would come into target looking to buy "nintendo games for the playstation."

And yes, Marc, I know this is the most boring thing you've ever read.

Green Baron on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 11:11 AM

Marc, the media matters link was great. But after I saw Outfoxed, nothing surprises me when it comes to Fox News and their "fair and balanced" coverage, after all, "they report, you decide". I've decided they're full of shit.

But I did like the left column about Michael Savage's show. Especially when he said, "When you hear 'human rights,' think gays. ... [T]hink only one thing: someone who wants to rape your son"

That's exactly what I was thinking. When I think civil rights, I think of some big black dude mugging me and stealing my car after trying to sell me drugs, and then getting off scott-free because the police refuse to go after him because he's black.

It was Michael Savage who taught me that gays are raping nazi's, and black people are evil, and that jews, blacks, and gays are destoying this country and its freedoms and its freedom of acceptance. God Bless America.

It is a "Savage nation" when this kind of bozo gets his own radio show, TV show, and book. You know, Amy Fisher draws more respect than this guy from me, and he never shot some chick 2 times point blank range in the face.

Green Baron on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 11:22 AM

In a totally unrelated note....
Back in the video from the highlights of fantastic knock-outs in boxing, the very last one the dude doesn't even connect! He totally misses on both swings and the other guy falls down.
Didn't this happen not too long ago in a heavyweight bout? Like a Holyfield match or something where they thought the other boxer was throwing the match because there was no connection but the dude hit the canvas and didn't get up? Someone refresh my memory.
I try not to watch boxing. I caught an ESPN 2 match where the dude was killed....it was quite disturbing to watch. The guy just kept sawing away until his head came clean off!

Marc on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 11:46 AM

that's the same thing that damned fake Russian (Dolph) did in Rocky IV to Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers)

phil, is wasn't nearly as boring as the history of the weck. and the subtle differences between buffalo wings and the wings produced by Hooters relates more to previously mentioned topics. Please don't go further into the history of either though. i mean after all its like phil says "..its like punching orange chicken." what the fuck?!

do NOT explain that one again Phil, it doesn't make sense.

Brock on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 11:51 AM

Of course Marc was bored by it...

as Adrian put it so eloquently, "Ohhhh.... ohhhh... tell me more about your views Mr. Kerry.... ohhhh!!! and don't forget to skull-fuck me!"

Jay on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 12:00 PM

That is a crazy number of wings. I could have maybe hit 50...MAYBE. I had 35 before we left, and I had a little more room (especially after I made some). So, are we going to do this next wednesday where I can eat until we are kicked out?

Marc on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 1:45 PM

VIDEOS OF THE DAY
http://tinyurl.com/4hoj8

NOTE: If you want to share these videos with your close friends please feel free to do so. even download them to your computer if you wish. just please don't post to larger well-established sites that might cause too much traffic (ie: fark, ebaumsworld, milkandcookies) because I don't want to take the chance of anything bad happening. Also there can be possible copyright issues even though these are broadcasted free on the airwaves. thanks

(1) Satellite delays can really ruin an interview OR make it funny. Decide for yourself.

(2) Killer Whale repeatedly attacking its trainer. Dunking and falling ontop of him over and over. This is scary-looking.

(3) America's Funniest Home Videos: Lady loses rollerskate wheel. And Baby exercises.

(4) Smuggled bicycle discovered to actually be made of cocaine. This is some real Cheech and Chong shit here.

(5) Tanya Harding is now a female boxer. See here get her ass beaten bad.

(6) Randy Johnson throws speed pitch to the batter. but a flyby bird is the one that takes the hit. I love to see the feathers burst off. Warning: Not for the animal loving.

(7) Birds learn to operate automatic doors for a business that they have their nest inside. New definition of bird-brain. Yes, bad pun, I know. Try this one: Fuck you. Better?

(8) Super Bowl Streaker. Watch him dance. Justin Timberlake ain't got moves like this.

(9) Finland's Wife-carrying competition. Crazy Scandanavians. They're the Canada of Europe.

(10) Awesome commercial. I normally don't do commercial on here even though they're are good ones out there occasionally. This is one for EA Madden 2005. You know I hate sports so it has to be pretty good for me to put it up.

Enjoy.

joe on Thursday, August 05, 2004 at 9:35 PM

as secure with your manhood as you are for getting mild wings phil you are still a pussy!!! i'm sure wes and jay and chris have my back on that

Plow King on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 5:33 AM

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Mus...t.ap/index.html

Skynyrd show has been postponed.

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 5:58 AM

I am glad to see that U of L has such high standards for their recruits.

http://www.courier-journal.com/cjsp...b0806-3089.html

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 6:02 AM

Of course Xota the best part about you calling out Burket for the spelling of Lynyrd Skynyrd is you mispelled too.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 6:13 AM

Hey, an honor student who stole something is a lot better than carrying a concealed deadly weapon, possession of marijuana, possession of a suspended license and operating a vehicle with a suspended license, or first-degree assault.

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 7:27 AM

Yeah, but that was a mistake that a person on the team already made, this jackass just got admitted with his felonies.

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 7:29 AM

Adrian is going to hate me for this, but is Vick the KG Jr. of the NFL?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/...tory?id=1853056

adrian on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 7:47 AM

Yeah, I saw that article earlier worm. I think it is way to early to determine if Vick is "The Griffey" of the NFL. He will be fine.

I was watching sportscenter and they showed the Giants training camp. Eli looked pretty good throwing the ball and he is working on improving his mechanics. It will be interesting to see how he reacts in a game when some three hundred pound NFL guys are trying to break his back.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 8:13 AM

Last night at we almost got into a brawl. Some girl's name was Baxter. So, I heard someone say the name and immediately went into talking about a miniature fuzzy buddha. Well, I guess this girl thought that I was calling her a fuzzy buddha, and proceeds to start yelling at me. But some dude played peace maker and I didn't have bust out my bow staff skills and kick some ass.

Oh, and Big Jay is feared at O'Shea's trivia by a team of an old guys. His mere presence elicited groans about "the chemistry guy" showing up. And Big Jay and Matt Church are a force to be reckoned with. Two wins in a row - tearing up the trivia circuit.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 8:27 AM

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=sto...n_sharapova_fan

adrian on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 8:32 AM

Imagine that..Phil talking.

KellyHarrison on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 8:51 AM

any reccomended places to go on the boat besides the casino? going there tonight instead of captains quarters. only been there once, so don't really know what all is on there besides the casinos.

adrian on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 9:38 AM

Kelley, there are couple of gift shops, restraunts, bar/grill at Caesars. I also believe that there is a golf course but i could be mistaking. I haven't been there in a long time so I don't know what else has been added.

Marc on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 9:52 AM

kellie, if you mena Ceaser's as "the boat" then no, it's pretty much just a casino. the building connected to the boat has a couple restaurants. and like maybe two small stores. but that's it. it's basically just the casino boat. nothing else to do there really. i haven't even seen a Saigon whore there for a little while now.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 10:41 AM

The Sports Guy is starting his countdown of the best sports movies: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...es/varsityblues

I personally like rule 4c: "If you could also qualify as a Chick Flick, you can't crack the Top 20."

Green Baron on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 11:43 AM

I had totally forgotten that Michael Ironside was in "Scanners". He's like the guy you get when Jack Nicholson turns you down.
How great would it be to be one of those second string actors. You know, the Dabney Coleman (I wish I really WAS Burt Reynolds, how sad is that?, and no, Gary is not my son).
Think about it....you get great roles like
Michael Ironside : Total Recall, Top Gun, Highlander II, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Free Willey
Dabney Coleman : Wargames, the Man with 1 red shoe, Tootsie, Modern Problems, Hot to Trot (Remember that one!), Inspector Gadget
Yet you don't have to be followed by freaky stalkers or marry Lonnie Anderson or ever have to win People's 50 most beautiful people. Yet you still make the money and get to star next to such fine actors as Bobcat Goldthwait, Keiko the Whale, and Christopher Lambert.
What a life, I just wished I looked like another actor, but there's no 6'3 goofy red-heads with giant cocks in the film industry.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:31 PM

Word on the street is that Rick James is dead.

Marc on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:35 PM

If Dubya Had Read What Poppy Wrote . . .

In his memoirs, "A World Transformed," written five years ago, George Bush Sr. wrote the following to explain why he didn't go after Saddam Hussein at the end of the Gulf War.

"Trying to eliminate Saddam...would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible.... We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq.... There was no viable "exit strategy" we could see, violating another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations' mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."

Taken from airamericaradio.com

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:46 PM

It is true. Today is a sad day in the music world. The man the legend is gone.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...n_mu/obit_james

jen on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:46 PM

Kellie, sometimes they have shows at the caesars. We saw a hypnotist there one year... he was pretty funny.

Yep, rick james died. They havent said how yet, though. He was only 56. CNN was nice enough to remind everyone of his jailtime and run ins with the law, too. Wow, I hope I'm remembered that way on national tv...

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:50 PM

For some reason I think this is just a horrible idea.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/...reut/index.html

Marc on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:53 PM

i hate hypnotists and magicians. i'll watch those masked man specials (the shows that show you how the tricks are done) every once in a while but that's it. i love comedians, but hate hypnotists and magicians...they're as bad as mimes.

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 12:54 PM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,128244,00.html

What the fuck?

Brock on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:23 PM

Ok, for future reference, citing anything political from Air America is just as bad as citing anything political from Fox News.

Once again, get your info from Jon Stewart and Dennis Miller

jen on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:27 PM

Maybe they're as bad as mimes, but much, much better than clowns. A lot less scary.

Marc on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:28 PM

Brock, you ignorant slug, I said it was POSTED on airamericaradio.com

However, the above quoted (" ") statement was made by President George Herbert Walker Bush in a book written years ago after the Persina Gulf War about why he didn't insist on taking Saddam out of power. So it's not like I just quoted someone pundit. It was the former President himself who said it, ass.

Green Baron on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:29 PM

Yah, I honestly don't believe GW Sr. said those things, or at least wrote those things to read. There is no way Sr. thought of anything THAT intelligent. I would imagine a first grader handed it to him and he read it mistakenly....

Green Baron on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:31 PM

"Mie yearz in the presidencie"
By George Herbert Walker Bush
edited by Billy Crum, 1st grader at Ronald Reagan Elementary School

Green Baron on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:38 PM

GW. Sr.'s other book, (far less known)
"Why my predecessor was glorified for fucking up and creating everything that is wrong with this country and why I repeated his principles and everyone hated me"
By GHW Bush
Edited by Dana Carvey, movie star and 1st grader at Ronald Reagan Elementary School

Brock on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:40 PM

I'm glad you took time out from flogging it to a "Kerry for president" sign to post that.

Maybe he said it, maybe he didn't, but the fact it came from Air America makes me very suspicious of its context. So it is just like you cut and paste someone's reference, probably a pundit, poop-chute plugger.

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:51 PM

It's on page 489 of George Bush's book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/flex/sign...;protocol=https (you might have to log in, or just find the book and click "search within this book"

Marc on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:51 PM

fine brock it's been googled for you. with many different sources talking about it and investigating it.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...22+we+could+see

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/067...769#reader-link

Phil on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 1:55 PM

Oh, and as for Louisville's felon, his record is actually clean now. So he isn't a felon (or has any record at all I believe). He was president of his class, had a 4.0 GPA and finished his community service early. It looked like a case of being with the wrong people at the wrong time, and he freaked out. VT was going to bring him on, but with the Vick issue they decided they couldn't afford any negative comments from the press.

So there you go.

Green Baron on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 2:04 PM

Here's a link for you all:

www;independent_party(completely)from_any_political_party(we_mean_it).com

That says "All republicans are dumb" and "Kerry had sex with an elephant!"

Hey, it's from an independent source

Brock on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 2:10 PM

Good job of wasting your time. But wait, you wasted my time too! Hold on, let me rummage through the archives to find some statement that happens to contradict "JFK wannabee"'s policy from a decade ago.

Exactly...

Bigworm on Friday, August 06, 2004 at 3:52 PM

God damn telephones. I just finished watching sportscenter and Barry Sanders finally talked about why he just walked away from his career so suddenly. Apparently, his coach called him and asked him how he was doing and he said that he was "tired". Due to the bad phone reception, his coach thought he said that he was "retired". As news leaked out into the sports world, Barry is too humble nor did he like to talk about himself so he just went with the damn flow. So the damn phone reception killed the career of one of the greatest running backs ever to hold a fotball and one of the classiest guys to ever put on a uniform.

KellyHarrison on Saturday, August 07, 2004 at 8:15 AM

an actual bat somehow ended up in my friends house last night. so, how was your all's night?

Bruno Ponce Jones on Saturday, August 07, 2004 at 1:18 PM

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pparkgame.html

For my first post, enjoy one of the oddest web games. Virtual Parallel parking.

Phil on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 12:20 AM

just a guess, Bruno Ponce Jones would be Ryan Church, right? If not, someone tell that no talent ass clown that his brother and big jay are tearing up the O'Shea's trivia circuit without his help.

Church on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 11:43 AM

Phil or Stewie, I have a question for you. I was trying to figure out why the hell the Big East took SOuth Florida from the C-USA. I can understand U of L, Thug school (UC), Depaul, and Marquette, but why South Florida. Oh well, random thought. Hope everyone had a good weekend

Phil on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 1:34 PM

I believe it was to hopefully keep some of the Florida TV market watching the Big East (plus allowing teams to travel to florida for a game, which helps with recruiting). Plus South Florida is considered an upcoming football team. They are doing a great job recruiting, especially for a team that's only been in Division I-A for like 4 years. They are obviously not going to be at Miami's level, but the move to the big east plus being located right in the middle of Football Talent, USA can't exactly hurt the squad.

Brock on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 2:37 PM

Although insulted by the fact that the inquiry wasn't directed toward I, the guru of college basketball, I will still throw my 2 cents in.

At the time the Big East was salivating over C-USA (i.e. 2002-3), South Florida had one hell of a recruiting class in b-ball, pre-season expectation to be in the top 25, and challenge for the C-USA crown. The simple fact of getting that recruiting class made them appealing regardless of sucking complete ass and under-acheiving.

I also agree with Phil's logic of wanting a presence in Florida. Despite being geographically poor for the Big East (New England and Eastern Midwest), the social dynamic of "eastern" is strong in Florida who would rather not be associated with the South, especially Tampa, a rest-haven for the aged.

Brock on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 2:53 PM

Big East 2005 Basketball Standings
Too bad they won't break them up into divisions like this, but this would be ideal. I don't think I've seen much on how they plan to deal with the logistics of all these teams, but this setup would allow everyone to play all once, and 3 home & away series with regional rivals.

North
Syracuse
Providence
Seton Hall
St. Johns

East
Connecticut
Rutgers
Villanova
Georgetown

West
DePaul
Notre Dame
Marquette
West Virginia

South
Pittsburgh
Louisville
Cincinnati
South Florida

KellyHarrison on Sunday, August 08, 2004 at 11:48 PM

http://onlineinsanity.com/modules.p...r=0&thold=0

adrian on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 5:36 AM

Big Jay, Anima in FFX is the Shiz-Nit!

Phil on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 9:36 AM

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm.../odd_schools_dc

For some reason this reminds me of a "Boy Meets World" that Mindy was watching.

Plow King on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 9:54 AM

That Mindy was watching... and told you about?

Phil on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 9:56 AM

no, i wandered in and remarked "holy crap this show sucks." It was just really one scene I think.

I can't make it past 5 minutes of that show without wanting to punch things.

Bigworm on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 10:57 AM

Phil - You are correct, that show is the worst show in TV history, however, Marc may try to strike you down because he loves the cock and that shitty show.

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 10:58 AM

Be careful what you say about "Boy Meets My Fist," some who read this website are almost religious about it.

Green Baron on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 11:02 AM

What's this about "Boy enjoying Fisting?"

The worst show ever is the Olson Twins show. Which one? All of them, of course. Dave Coulier....there's a boy who likes the fisting. I heard that's why he ditched the bitch Alanis.

Bigworm on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 11:05 AM

For all the racefans in the world.

http://www.hoosiergazette.com/Sport...4/sports002.htm

Marc on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 11:29 AM

phil, if you are talking about phony colleges on Boy Meets World then you must be talking about the one where Eric, the older brother was happy to get accepted to the University of Boris. He realized it was a scam when he got his "diploma" 3 days later. Yes I know i am gay because i love that show. suck my fat white ass.

Phil on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 11:30 AM

This story is in contention for the weirdest one of the day, if only for what caused the fight: http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summe...tory?id=1855568

Phil on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 11:54 AM

you don't love it enough because I was refering to one where the older brother was teaching immigrants using playing cards, and yet they some how became american citizens at the end of the show.

it was a very special episode indeed.

Plow King on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:07 PM

OK, now there's no way you could know that much about the episode if you watched less than 5 minutes of it.

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:09 PM

Marc, can we get a list of your favorate "Boy Meets The Cock" epidsodes? Kinda like "Marc's Select"

Also, how about the ones that really suck?

Oh yeah, Fred Savage and his brothers are dwarfs, how come they didn't play Hobbits?

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:11 PM

Nice Burn Plow King!

Green Baron on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:16 PM

Yah, Phil, that link was pretty weird, but about the argument. I don't think they were arguing about who would play solitaire on the computer. I think they mis-translated.
You see, "soliter" is Greek for "Grandmother with a mustache"
and "want to play" was probably "wonduple", which means to be having sex with.
So I imagine what he said was, roughly translated, "I've been having sex with your Greek grandmother with the mustache."
Not only is that a weird story....it's also quite revolting.

Marc on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:19 PM

yes phil, i remember that episode as well. but i thought mine applied better due to being a fake college. whereas yours referenced episode he was trying to help immigrants when asked not to but they managed to do really well. it wasn't a fake institution. ASS. I did like the episode where Fred Savage (Ben Savage's older brother in real life) portryaed a scummy professor trying to seduce Topanga, Corey's (Ben Savage) fiance. In which he pushes his real-life older brother through a door. But who wouldn't want to get paid to beat up their older brother? just ask Adrian or Joe.

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:33 PM

Ah, the legend of "trying to beat up your older brother." As we all know, this is simply a myth, as all older brothers prevail! Remember, one fight or game of Madden is just a battle, but a baseball bat to the chest in the middle of the night or a full season of Reggie Jackson Baseball is the war!

Plow King on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:34 PM

I hope people will be able to read this post. The glare from the mind-numbingly retarded plot lines mentioned above is blinding.

Green Baron on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:41 PM

Green Baron on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:43 PM

As you can see, my last post was blank. It has something to do with the idiot pushing return instead of tab, which I shall not disclose the identity of the idiot.

Anyway...

Marc....can I make a request for a movie clip? How about Jon Stewart interviews Bill Clinton? Maybe a foreign titty-flick too if you got the time.....

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 12:57 PM

Plow King, what the hell are you talking about? You should have just left it with the wicked burn on Phil's secret love of Boy Meets World.

Phil on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 3:22 PM

The real question would be what idiot let people accidently submit blank posts...

Bigworm on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 4:10 PM

As we all know, Abby left me again. If anyone wants to grab some dinner sometime let me know.

Brock on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 6:18 PM

Wes, you really need to rephrase these posts... it sounds like you got a divorce every time you say that. Although, she might be considering it with the passion you have for Hooters wings.

Plow King on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 7:26 PM

I apologize for making a metaphor on a site frequented by alcoholics and photographers who enjoy a good tea baggging (no matter how green the tea).

And, no, the REAL question is what is ElimiDATE doing (http://www.courier-journal.com/feat.../elimidate.html) in the 5th worst city for dating (http://houseandhome.msn.com/move/Be...orDating.aspx)?

stew on Monday, August 09, 2004 at 10:00 PM

Alright, plenty o' venom in this post. First off, for the NBA "superstars" who won't play for team USA in the Athens Olympics. They are all pussies. O'Neal, Carter, McGrady-all bitches. Shaq misses an average of 20 games a season so he can shift the blame for anything that goes wrong onto Kobe. Carter is a little bitch, who can't do anything without another top-flite superstar to help him.
I mean, who else couldn't do what he does with teammates like Jalen Rose, who plays through serious injuries taking the load of an NBA team on their shoulders. McGrady is also a bitch; maybe because he's related to Carter. He can't shoulder any responsibility for a team. Here's hoping Orlando kicks Houston's ass next year. (No offense to Reece Gaines.)
As a Canadian, I think every kid would sell their soul to represent their country in their strongest sport. So fuck those who don't want to play for the "Dream Team" I have faith in Duncan, Iverson, Brown and co. They'll pull it together.
Secondly, UofL and C-(formerly USA), for Church, USF already has a decent mid-major football program, (recall last year's 2nd overtime victory over the Cards.) Florida is the #1 high school football state in the country, so it only makes sense to include an FL school in an expansion. I'm glad UofL accepted Council, the "diverted" felon from Virginia Tech. How often do we get Super prep All American
DB's at UofL??! Him and Bush should make an immediate impact in the secondary.
Finally, for those who haven't seen "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle"...It is definately worth going to see. At least for a matinee show. I laughed my ass off. Maybe better than Euro Trip.

Marc on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 7:14 AM

some of these are pretty funny
http://www.declareyourself.com/psas/index.htm

Bigworm on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 8:37 AM

As everyone knows, my wife travels about 50% of the time with her job. Abby is currently out of town and there is a good chance she will be travelling for the next few weeks, either overnight or commuting. If anyone wants to grab dinner sometime just let me know.

adrian on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 8:44 AM

I heard PT's has great Crabs!

Wrecking Crew on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 10:23 AM

Their roast beef also has a certain reputation for itself.

Bigworm on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 10:31 AM

Yeah a BIG MONTANA does sound good right now.

Phil on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 at 11:35 AM

so, we are finishing up a lab right now. I told them to go home when they finish it. Right now three people are sitting there doing nothing, and one of them might fall asleep. The same thing happened yesterday. People just sat around waiting for something.

Both days I told them that when they finish the lab, they can go home. I actually said it three times today. I just don't get it...

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