That condo was my life, okay?

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I got tons of shit going on.

So let me get right to the point. I'm moving Saturday morning. I'll be spending the rest of the week going through my crap finding stuff to give the goodwill, and whatever left I'm taking with me. If you can help me move, there will be booze, gatorade and other good times items in it for you. I'm renting a U-Haul just to make things easier. I really only have my couch, chair, bookcases, tv and my bed. The rest of it will be boxed up and easy to move. Let me know if you can help a brotha out. I decided to make this its own post because the other one was too long. That and the fact that I'm an attention whore.

Posted by Phil on September 26th, around dinner time | 220 comments

Comments

joe on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 11:24 AM

Is this a morning, afternoon, early evening project? Is your condo first floor you are moving into? Minor details that will help in the decision making.

Phil on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 11:28 AM

opps, sorry.

Yeah, it's going to be a morning thing so it isn't too damn hot (hopefully). it will be from my second floor apartment to another second floor apartment.

hey, at least I'm going to box things up before I move unlike the last fiasco.

douglas on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 12:04 PM

now when you say booze, i'm going to need to know a few other details, as far as the quality and/or quantity of the booze. Perhaps what type of booze would be helpful in the decison-making process. Additionally, I've found that when moving, pizza is pretty much the standard food of choice, so will this be the case as well. And if so, what type of pizza, and again, the quality/quantity.

Brock on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 12:50 PM

Will latex gloves be provided so people don't put their hands in all of Adrian's jizz stains on your furniture during the move? This would be helpful in the decision-making process.

Phil on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 1:43 PM

I believe the only jizz stains are on the carpet. The couch is easily cleaned. The floor is obviously not.

Phil on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 5:12 PM

Good read on Conan that I got from the Sports Guy's website: http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/art...4575/index.html

Warning - it is an epic piece.

Marc on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 6:21 PM

The title of this article just made me laugh. But it's probably not far from reality.
http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/6...3/653818p1.html

Marc on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 8:45 AM

Hilary Duff is now OFFICIALLY 18!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0240381/
You can now legally masterbate to her... or on her
... if she says that's okay, of coarse.

Green Baron on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 9:48 AM

V..V..V..V..VINNY AND THE JETS:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?sl...p&type=lgns

VINNY!......VINNY.....VINNY...VINNY...VINNY'S BACK WITH THE JETS.....

And he's one old motherfucker.

douglas on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 10:57 AM

sucks to be this guy...
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/pgStor...p;pageNumber=19

stew on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 11:10 AM

Marc...I'm speechless!

douglas on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 11:15 AM

marc, one question, why do we need to ask for hilary duff's permission to splurge our manjuice on her, doesn't it mean so much more when it's a surprise?

joe on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 11:56 AM

What is the next landmark birthday for you marc?

Phil on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 2:44 PM

I have now joined the privledge elite of natty sci by becoming a home owner. fear me.

actually, not living at home is probably the same damn thing now that I think of it.

Marc on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 3:08 PM

American Pie 4?
http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies...ct-to-dvd_x.htm

douglas on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 3:13 PM

tell me this isn't the dumbest/coolest mom ever
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9503082/

Marc on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 3:33 PM

Joe asked a question and I had to give a dumb answer. So a google search prompted a countdown site to Dakota Fanning's 18th birthday. http://www.fubonis.com/Dakota/
ok, even I am horrified.

Phil on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 3:49 PM

If you've missed the Curious Guy this week on the Sports Guy, it's worth checking out (yes Marc, you'll probably get a kick out of it too). It's with Chuck Klosterman. If you've been to my apartment, you've probably seen his books "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" and "Killing Yourself to Live" laying around. Good reads here.

Part 1: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...=simmons/050927
Part 2: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...=simmons/050928

Bigworm on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 8:57 PM

Phil - You can count me in helping you move buddy. Just let me know of a time for sure and I will be there. Sorry for not giving you a call when we were in San Francisco but Abby and I crashed early that night because we had some excursions planned for the next few days.

Phil on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 10:56 PM

We only hung out at some guy's apartment that night. We got royally shit faced and wandered home. Rock star status no doubt.

I'll be moving around 9:00am saturday morning at my place if anyone wants to help...

Phil on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 11:11 PM

ugh, it looks like I won't get cable or a fridge until fucking next week sometimes.

Gay gay gay.

Marc on Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 10:06 AM

I updated some quotes for the Wikipedia for the Cincinnati trip.
http://v033u39lvs.maximumasp.com/wi...ci.FamousQuotes

Phil on Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 2:42 PM

here's my new place: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=225+C...p;t=h&hl=en

condo #212

Bigworm on Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 5:42 PM

Never again would we have to wait at the bar just to tell the bartender..."Hey buddy, if the glass is empty poor me another". Visual indication apparently not enough.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,1011...8-13762,00.html

Bigworm on Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 5:50 PM

Perhaps Brock was in Canada?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/serv...8/health/Health

stew on Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 11:32 PM

This is pretty cool:
http://www.sportsvenues.com/pdf/names.pdf

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 9:57 AM

What's wrong with supporting the troops?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/29092005/3...green-line.html

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 9:58 AM

The best part is she was given the "Hero" tag on fark.com

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 10:01 AM

http://www.pioneerlocal.com/cgi-bin...-05-699450.html

What do they mean there is much more to this case then first appears. Your son got plastered, did something very stupid, and didn't live through it. Deal with it.

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 10:04 AM

Proof that there is a God and he is a man!

http://wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=150

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 10:45 AM

Oh yeah, the above link includes some pics of Jessica Alba..enjoy..i think my favorite is the 2nd pic top row.

Phil on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 11:00 AM

jessica alba's finest work is idle hands: http://hql.free.fr/Alba/lmqt/ABYS09...a_IdleHands.jpg

the tight shorts with a tank top has tremendous upside potential.

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 11:50 AM

Well I am still waiting to see Sin City before I make the claim of her finest work.

Bigworm on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 2:02 PM

Pretty good story about Rick Clausen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/colu...&id=2173451

douglas on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 4:56 PM

what's going on tonight?

Phil on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 11:45 PM

The Rutgers band is playing the Final Countdown...

Brent on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 11:03 AM

Back to Jessica Alba, this is how Im used to seeing her.

http://www.wwtdd.com/images/ja192.shtml

Brock on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 12:09 PM

Ahhh, the memories of the "Hot Chicks" folder. Is there anyway Wes could get some creative license to post his array of stunning beauties?

Phil on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 3:39 PM

Phil on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 3:47 PM

hmm, that last post was really funny and shit. you'll just have to imagine it.

anyways, my new place seems to still have the cable turned on PLUS I have access to three wide open wireless connections. Life is good.

Bigworm on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 7:08 PM

You are trying to tell me as liberal as Seattle is, they are trying to ban this.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051002...ning_lap_dances

Phil on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 8:50 PM

so this show after the simpsons...uh, is terrible.

I can't believe how bad it is. If Arrested Development gets canceled because they moved it out of this slot into a crap ass Monday slot, people will die. They'll die slow painful deaths while watching their shit shows they put on Sundays instead of Arrested Development or Futurama.

Phil on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 10:27 PM

So, does Jimmy Rollins hitting streak continue into next year or not? It seems that it wouldn't, but lets assume people get REALLY good at baseball and some dude gets a hit in every game for two years straight. We'd say he had a 280 game hitting streak, right?

These are questions I demand to be answered, and that I am asking instead of unpacking my clothes.

Phil on Sunday, October 02, 2005 at 11:02 PM

hmmm, i just notiecd that the source of about 90% of my fantasy points has a bye week next week. Not good times.

Bigworm on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 2:56 AM

yeah Phil the streak continues into next year. Think in college football buddy, USC has a win steak of like 26 games or so. Obviously they don't play 26 games in a year so it continues on until ended.

adrian on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 9:59 AM

But if it is a single season hit streak record then it shouldn't continue.

Green Baron on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:23 AM

I don't think it would make any difference Phil.
You're team is like mine, 90% of your points is about 5.5 points, right?

Bigworm on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:26 AM

It continues to count into next year even.

Holy Shit! The Colts finally showed up on offense. Joe I am 5 points down and you are done...I have the Carolina Defense going tonight against Green Bay....you are so my bitch!

Green Baron on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:40 AM

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/050930/...HNlYwNnYWxsZXJ5

Why weren't we aware of this?

Anyway, in case anyone was wondering, Anne Hathway gets naked in her new movie, Havoc.
You can see the pics on wwtdd.com
I know this, because.....well, I'm a pervert.

Also,
Someone I know is in the market for a new computer from Dell. If you happen to spot any good deals, be sure to point it out.
I've been looking on slickdeals and yahoo, but haven't come across anything spectacular yet.
He's looking to stay below the $500 line.

adrian on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:51 AM

It is time again for the Red River Shootout! Wonder if Texas will fuck up as always versus the Sooners

Bigworm on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:52 AM

Jackpot Baby! I can always count on the Green Baron to keep me up to date with perverted shit. Thanks buddy.

Phil on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 11:04 AM

found the answer. according to this article there are two seperate records, one for single season and one that spans multiple seasons. So he wouldn't break DiMaggio's record, but would break some other record.

Odd.

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/base...9-30-blog_x.htm

Phil on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 11:09 AM

hmmm, it seems there are TWO records, both of which are held by DiMaggio (duh). So, DiMaggio would hold the single-season record, but Rollins would hold the multi-season hitting steak record. So there you go.

stew on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 7:34 PM

Anybody see Ron Mexico's little primadonna brother flip off the WVU fans and then flatten one of their coaches? What a bitch. This is the same guy that gets 14 and 15 yr old girls drunk and does lord only knows what with them. First we have to put up with the "experts" sucking Michael Vick's dick all over the national media, now this.

Bigworm on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 8:16 PM

Even though I do not condone RM's bros actions, I still thought it was pretty funny. And let's be honest stew, you know you'd bop'em.

Phil on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 9:42 PM

Is this the same chimp that marc thinks smokes like a badass?

http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?...28338285855B255

stew on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 9:50 PM

Wes, what can I say, you're probably right.
What is happening to me, I have been watching WWE's Monday Night Raw for and hour and a half now.

Brent on Monday, October 03, 2005 at 10:44 PM

Regarding Stuart Scott's eye:

http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observ...rts/4379552.htm
Q. Back in the spring, you sustained a severe eye injury while filming a story about football minicamps with the Jets. Tell us what happened.

I had gotten in shape and (Jets coach) Herman Edwards gave me permission to go to minicamp with them. I was doing a feature for ESPN on what it's like to be in minicamp. But I was serious about it.

The day I was there, there were eight wideouts and the wide receiver coach said I was rated number six. I didn't have any delusions of grandeur. I was hoping I'd be good enough to be a scrub wide receiver or a practice wide receiver in the NFL. I found that out that day. I didn't disappoint myself and I didn't embarrass myself.

At end of practice all the wideouts went to the Jugs Machine, it's a machine that shoots balls out. I had never done that before. I had been catching everything that day in practice from the quarterbacks. I was probably a little close and the thing was fast and the thing was faster than I thought it was.

Q. The ball, coming out of the machine, hit you square in the left eye. How bad was it?

It was serious. I had emergency surgery that night and was out of work for a couple months. It was tough. I had some eye surgery before so I knew how severe it was. It was probably more scary that day, not knowing. The next day came and I knew it would be a long recovery back. I still need some more surgery. The eye is not great now. But I had some time off.

Bigworm on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 11:19 AM

The chinese women were excited when they first heard longwang was on the prowl.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171143,00.html

Marc on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 11:20 AM

The New York Post is reporting that Fez has added Jaime Pressly to a not-so exclusive club of obsession worthy kitty he’s run through, a bedroom guest list that includes Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan and Eva Longoria.
http://wwtdd.com

Bigworm on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 11:57 AM

Velarde - Beware buddy, squirrel season is here.

http://www.newbernsj.com/SiteProces...p;Section=Local

Brock on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 4:47 PM

For Jay:

Hot Korean chick - just doesn't have any brains, but its not like you are going to talk to her or anything.
http://www.makemeking.com/home/dare...Down_Pants.html

Marc on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 7:01 PM

Nicolas Cage naming new son after Superman's birth name. Kal-el Coppola Cage
http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/eo/...2838568000.html

also, I didn't know Nic had a new hot asian wife
http://i.esmas.com/image/0/000/003/693/Cage_N.jpg

stew on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 8:03 PM

DAMN THAT FEZ!!! Leave some for the rest of us!

stew on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 9:46 PM

If you all don't already watch it, I highly recommend NBC's "The Office", it is even better than the BBC original. Very funny.

Marc on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 10:41 PM

Hey Baron, for you computer-needing friend....

"AMD is releasing a cheap PC, which it designed for third world countries, in the US. The computer, which will sell in Radio Shack for $299, was designed for poor countries whose residents would not be able to get a computer.

AMD first launched the Personal Internet Communicator, in India nearly a year ago. The PIC is the size of a lunch box and weighs three pounds. It has a Geode processor, no fan, USB ports, a hard disk drive, and headphone/microphone jack, mouse, keyboard, but not a monitor.

Run on the Windows CE, the PIC also comes preinstalled with Microsoft’s Internet Explorer and PowerPoint, Macromedia’s Flash Player, and SoftMaker’s word processing and spreadsheet programs.

The outfit plans to release the computer to China and Turkey in the next few months as part of its bid to get the world connected to the World Wide Web."

Bigworm on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 at 11:24 PM

Oh yeah...My name is Earl and the Office make up my 9-10 tuesday time slot...and 10-11 is reserved for boston legal. This weekend you guys can find me at the home depot and bed bath and beyond.

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 8:44 AM

Classic play and rock n roll. Just do your thing man.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051004..._broadway_tix_1

joe on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 8:53 AM

I never found paintball so fascinating until I saw the names of these guns

http://www.smartparts.com/Store/def...4E-359F03A85524}

joe on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 8:55 AM

crap the link screwed up. If you check it out click on the private label gray gun next to the blue gun called the shocker. their is a whole line of inappropriate shocker names. Classy

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 9:19 AM

I bet Brtiney likes the shocker.

http://www.tonight.co.za/index.php?...ticleId=2904867

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 10:03 AM

This is pretty cool.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment...tory?id=1183583

Green Baron on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 10:11 AM

Supposedly, this isn't the first Britney Sex tape. Supposedly some kid broke into her Florida mansion prior to The Cletus Escapade and stole a video of her and Timberlake.
Unfortunately, the cops got to him before he was able to copy it and release it. Which totally sucks, because if I'm gonna see a hairy ass bounce up and down for 90 seconds, I'd rather it be Timberlake's.

douglas on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 2:30 PM

so you'd enjoy seeing timberlake's ass. That's kinda gay

douglas on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 3:27 PM

think i have a chance with her??
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?n...21&GT1=7153

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 3:46 PM

If Nick did, I would think that you would be able to as well.

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 4:04 PM

So what does this mean to Creationists?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/articl...1811332,00.html

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 4:07 PM

Only in Kentucky

http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentuck...al/12820794.htm

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 4:22 PM

At what point does someone look at a goat and think..."Man I want a piece of that!"

http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?...28440161176B263

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 4:56 PM

Not that I can blame him because she is a hottie..but WTF?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051005...NDRrBHNlYwM3NjI-

Phil on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 5:13 PM

I'm never going to florida ever, ever again

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiheral...ald_environment

Brent on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 6:50 PM

The Shining if it were made today.

http://www.funlol.com/funpages/shin...ng-trailer.html

stew on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 10:25 PM

Woooo! Hockey is back-finally! I know nobody else cares, but Go Leafs Go! The Original Blue and White...

stew on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 1:06 AM

Damn that Tom Cruise-knocking up Katie Holmes like that...is there nothing sacred? Fuckin' scientologists.

Bigworm on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 8:59 AM

So I bought a mountain bike yesterday at Scheller's...yeah pathetic I know..even my big ass is trying to get back into shape.

joe on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 9:42 AM

You can mountain bike hungover...Sweat your ass off, possibly puke, but it is much easier then any other form of exercise

Bigworm on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 9:46 AM

There is hope in the near future for some of us.

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps...RES03/510060301

Brock on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 11:08 AM

Best mountain biking in the area is by far Land Between the Lakes
http://www.lbl.org/BITrails.html

stew on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 2:57 PM

Actually, much closer to home is Cherokee Park, where there are some nice trails that are very decent. I used to ride there alot when I first moved here. Otter Creek Park is also supposed to be quite good but I never actually rode there. Just what I've heard.

adrian on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 2:59 PM

Waverly Park is my favorite. Senaca park has great scenery (hot girls running on the track)

joe on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 3:19 PM

HS cross country season...you keep getting older they stay the same age

Phil on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 3:37 PM

and the best part of HS cross country girls is that they look 12.

stew on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 3:39 PM

A couple of funny pix:
http://www.big-boys.com/pictures/picture1705.html
http://www.big-boys.com/pictures/picture1717.html

douglas on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 4:06 PM

hmmmmm, 12-year olds...

Phil on Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 10:42 PM

so,uh, if you do it with a 17 year old, but she's like 6'8", I mean, they can't seriously convict you over anything, right? Because this chick has to be the hottest chick over 6'6" ever.

http://www.detnews.com/2005/highsch.../A01-329102.htm

Phil on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 12:49 AM

hmm, i just reread what I wrote. Here's a better picture: http://sportsbybrooks.com/alyssadehaan.html

Marc on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 7:02 AM

Rachel McAdams is 29 today. Didn't know she was older than me since she generally plays someone young than me. Last year she played a high school student twice and in 2002 a 15 year old. wierd. By the way, she is totally hot and I want to bang her. (If Rachel McAdams herself is readin this, than I mean that will utmost respect and the truthfullness.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1046097/

Phil on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 8:28 AM

even more creepy is that Rachel McAdams's little sister from the Wedding Crashers will be 30 years old in feb...

douglas on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 9:34 AM

so where are their 12-yr. old sisters??

Bigworm on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 12:04 PM

This is pretty interesting.

http://www.mytelus.com/travel/artic...ID=2048615elvis

joe on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 12:20 PM

what the hell?

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...EMPLATE=DEFAULT

Bigworm on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 2:02 PM

I still think the crazy factor that goes along with Angelina Jolie gives her the edge.

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/051007/...OHYzBHNlYwN0bXA-

douglas on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:19 PM

so all i have to do to get a free bmw suv is be the pope...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9610974/

douglas on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:22 PM

i think i'll give it to jessica, i've masturbated numerous times thinking about her coming out of that pool in 'summer catch'

joe on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:36 PM

summer catch...that movie was an instant classic on the unintentional comedy scale

douglas on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:48 PM

freddie prinze is the worst pitcher ever, even worse than joe, and that catcher from 'scream' had the worst swing i've ever seen, and we're expected to believe that kid dropped bombs? uh, no sir. but jessica biel is gorgeous in it so i've seen it numerous times, as have many prepubescent boys picturing themselves gaining their manhood by bending that hot piece of ass over and damaging it to no end.

joe on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:49 PM

is freddie prinze a better pitcher or actor?

douglas on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 3:54 PM

my daughter's a better pitcher, and paris hilton might be a better actor. but to answer your question, as a baseball player, i know he's a better actor, his windup was atrocious. did anyone else see him at the NFL kickoff weekend? that was bad. but he has my eternal respect, b/c he got to mess with jessica biel, who as I've mentioned already, is somewhat attractive, plus he's married to sarah michelle gellar, who's not too shabby herself.

Bigworm on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 4:15 PM

Interesting because they are hot.

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/natio...0et005000c.html

stew on Saturday, October 08, 2005 at 9:04 PM

Holy Jesus! My Cards just slaughtered UNC. Unbelievable! There were people scoring who aren't even on the official roster-against 1st team defense. What a molestation! And my voice is gone for the foreseeable future!

Brock on Sunday, October 09, 2005 at 2:52 PM

Unfortunately, Texas annhilated Oklahoma, so I think the raping of a low tier ACC team will not impress the BCS too much.

Phil on Sunday, October 09, 2005 at 7:42 PM

lord knows just playing Cinci will probably drop us in the rankings.

Phil on Sunday, October 09, 2005 at 10:34 PM

jesus titty fuckin' christ, it is like Fred Taylor is allergic to the end zone or something.

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 9:32 AM

I HATE THE FUCKING BROWNS. BRAYLON EDWARD'S SCRATCHED RIGHT BEFORE THE GAME SO OF COURSE I HAD HIM GOING. INSTEAD I COULD HAVE PUT IN CURTIS MARTIN WHO IS SITTING ON THE BENCH WITH 14 FANTASY POINTS OR SO OR STEVENS WHO IS ABOUT 10. EVEN THOUGH PHIL'S TEAM SUCKS IT IS STILL KIND OF HARD TO WIN WHEN YOU ARE A GUY DOWN, BUT IT DOES HELP BECAUSE FRED TAYLOR IS ON PHIL'S TEAM!

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 9:33 AM

AND I CAN'T SPELL!

Phil on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 10:10 AM

yeah, if I pull out a win with my top 4 players with a bye week, it'll be a miracle.

At least Braylon Edwards didn't get -1 points like Frisman fuckin' Jackson

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 10:11 AM

Bringing a whole new meaning to taking a hands on approach.

http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/cr...units_hand.html

douglas on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 10:49 AM

how do i sign up to be a cop? I want that job all of a sudden.

Brock on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 12:11 PM

Screw Fred Taylor and the Jaguars. I think Marvin Lewis should hire Huggins as an assistant to beat some discipline into these freakin' defensive linemen. Every 3 and 2, this moron jumps offsides.

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 2:06 PM

This is pretty funny. I am reading the UK message boards and I am quite sure that Rich Brooks won't be around much longer. So who do you think they should try to tap to fill that position?

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 2:25 PM

Remind me to never fuck with a hawk. Video of a hawk vs. a rattlesnake.

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=d...al%20Geographic

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 2:27 PM

Best horror movie ever....

http://film.guardian.co.uk/News_Sto...1588443,00.html

Bigworm on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 2:55 PM

Female leader in Germany.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9648900/

Just a matter of time before I get to welcome Bill home.

Brent on Monday, October 10, 2005 at 11:25 PM

Only Phil click this link

http://www.ps260.com/molly/SHINING%20FINAL.mov

(Shining Trailer re-run)

Phil on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 12:29 AM

Thanks Brent.

Oh, and by the way - i can't believe my ghetto ass team pulled off that upset.

Phil on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 12:53 AM

who is up for Genny's on thursday?

Phil on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 9:07 AM

I might put away my fear of snakes to see what might be the greatest movie of 2006: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/

Phil on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 10:28 AM

for brent and marc wondering about the McDonald's strip search: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps...EWS01/510110364

Brent on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 10:55 AM

Dude, how did the caller persuade the manager that the person needed to perform oral sex on him to prove their innocence? Fuck that plea, that girl was raped...that guy got off easy.

Bigworm on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 12:54 PM

yeah me neither. When i got to thinking about it, i was relying on Big Ben to actually make some throws..i knew i was done. PEYTON STILL SUCKS!

Green Baron on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 1:24 PM

Wow, check out the latest version I found in my e-mail box, it's great, I'm a millionaire!:

From: Sgt Mike Donnelly,

Hey there, this is Sgt Mike Donnelly, I am a soldier with the 248th Engineer
corp. in the National Guard of the United States. I am writing this message from
central Baghdad, Iraq where we are on military assignment.

Your contact got to me in confidence, through a reliable colleague who assured
me of your reliability and trustworthy in business matters. I am sorry to use
this medium in contacting you. Please understand that, it is for our own
security and due to the confidentiality of this transaction

On April 18, 2003, Some of my colleagues under my direct command and I were
posted to search a residential neighborhood along Tigris River where most senior
Bath Party and Republican Guard officials lived. The purpose of the mission was
for the arrest of some former senior Government officials and discovery of
documents, which can lead to the discovery of Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD).

The search conducted by both Foot and Air soldiers was successful as some
documents that were discovered lead to the discovery of more than One Billion
U.S Dollars in cash neatly parked and hidden in false walls and aluminum boxes.
Before we radio out our discovery, we removed two of the boxes from the lot
which was immediately loaded in a waiting helicopter whose pilot (a friend) was
waiting to fly any thing suspected to be used for the production of weapon of
mass destruction to a location for laboratory analyses.

At about 02.30 hours, another radio signal was received from U.S Forces
patrolling the Iraqi Syrian border about an intercepted truck at the border
loaded with jewelleries and several boxes containing U.S dollar currencies . I
was ordered to take my men there to secure the area as well as escort the truck
to the nearest U.S Army facility. This we did and I also removed another box of
the money for myself.

The total amount is US$25 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills. We
want to move this money out of iraq, no strings attached, just help us recieve
it, Iraq is a warzone although partially ended. We plan on using diplomatic
courier to ship the money out in one large silver box, using diplomatic
immunity.

If you are interested I will send you the full details, When you receive this
letter, kindly send me an e-mail:donnellymike12@hotmail.com;signifying your
interest including your contact details.

Respectfully,

Sgt. Mike Donnelly.

douglas on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 1:30 PM

i'm super screwed, deuce is out for the season and half my team is on crutches. shouldn't be too difficult to beat me from now on, can't count on fuckin kevin curtis and joe jurevicius to pick up the slack every week.

Brock on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 1:55 PM

A true fantasy football owner would dig deep and hard into the free agent list to salavage the season rather than throw in the towel.

Look at Wes, he doesn't score crap, but wins... so there is hope.

Bigworm on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 2:50 PM

That's right, I am amazed that my team even won a game. Offense wins games, defense wins championships...does that apply in Fantasy Football?

Brock on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 3:08 PM

Don't forget Special Teams. The Dante Hall connection has paid off big twice for me.

I'm also seriously considering Rob Bironas, the man is a kicking machine. Trinity represent!

douglas on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 3:22 PM

defense might be the only reason i've won 3 games, with indy surprising the hell out of everybody. They have to play a team with a real offense though this week. and that's not much to be dug up in the free agent market, at least nothing that can replace the deuce.

joe on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 3:46 PM

I have had bironas since week 3 in my work league and he is a stud.

stew on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 8:29 PM

Here's a song that Jay might like-it kind of runs in the vein of his "i wanna skeet in her hair" song...
http://college.big-boys.com/articles/swallow.html

Brent on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 9:50 PM

Marc, where do you go to download torrents? For some reason torrentspy isnt getting the job done with "Rome."

Phil on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 10:17 PM

I hear HBO is bring down the iron first of justice on torrents. Hold on, let me dig up a link....


here you go: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/07/015210

Marc on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 11:02 PM

Brent, for torrents I use:
http://www.livetorrents.com
http://www.minnova.org
http://www.torrentspy.com
http://www.torrentsearch.com

Marc on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 11:02 PM

http://www.mininova.org

Brent on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 at 11:12 PM

Ah bastards, I was stuck on 98% for almost two days and kept downloading other torrents to try and fix the problem.

HBO doesnt stand a chance in this battle. Its like 5 minds to 100,000 or million, who knows.

douglas on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 9:24 AM

yeah i'm stupid, but what the hell is a torrent?

Phil on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 10:13 AM

torrents are just a way to download files. they are pretty popular for downloading TV shows and the such. Of course, downloading TV shows would be illegal.

Torrents have legit uses, but their popularity seems to be tied to downloading movies and tv shows.

Phil on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:18 PM

sports guy review of two for the money: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...TC-DT9705204233

Brock on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:22 PM

Heads up notice:

Two things:
1. UofL-UC game is October 22 - anyone interested in coming up for the game and hanging out for the weekend let me know. They moved the game time from 7PM to Noon.

2. October 28-29 - My buddy Mike is throwing a party at Tickets Sports Bar in Covington, KY on Friday night. $20 all you can drink beer and wells. Costumes recommended. Michelle and her roommates are throwing a party on Saturday with a keg and their stocked bar. Recommended donations $5.

I'd email everyone this, but I don't have many people's email addresses, so pass the word.

Bigworm on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:23 PM

Roadraging!

http://1010wins.com/topstories/loca..._285123605.html

Green Baron on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:47 PM

I download all my porn from isohunt.com

You mean they have movies and music on there too????
I guess I haven't got to that section yet. Might take me a few months....

Green Baron on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:48 PM

Oh yah,
http://www.isohunt.com
It's a torrent site.

Green Baron on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 2:51 PM

And HBO blows.

When are they gonna look at what Skinamax has been. People want the tittie flicks, nobody wants to see Real Sex 120 where two gay dudes make out for 15 minutes, or where some chick with 15000 piercings gets a hole plugged....

giggity giggity

douglas on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 4:59 PM

nicotine beer...
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,1011...1-23109,00.html

Bigworm on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 9:05 AM

I bet a UNC fan or Wake fan turned him in.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/...tory?id=2188326

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 1:44 PM

has anybody ever heard of the book entitled "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of the Pickup Artist"

Frat boy at work showed up at lunch with it. The jokes were so easy it was sad.

Bigworm on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 1:53 PM

Joe, call him out.

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 1:57 PM

We threatened to beat him up and take his lunch money

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:15 PM

oh shit, if you look up the book you can search it on amazon.com and read the thing.

I did a random search and ended up on page 31 where the hero of the story wore a funny hat, and told a girl that if he wasn't gay, "you'd totally be mine."

oh shit, it's so easy!

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:30 PM

ok, here's the mystery method from chapter six. 13 detailed steps to approaching the ladies:

1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate - approach instantly.

2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.

3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.

4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we've come up with. Tell her "It's so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh." Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.

5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.

6. Neg the target again if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say "oh my god, she's so grabby. How do you roll with her?"

7. Ask the group, "So how does everyone know each other?" If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they've been together. If it's a serious relationship, eject politely by saying "Pleasure meeting you."

8. IF she is not spoken for, say to the group "I've sort of alientating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?" They always say, "Uh, sure. If it's okay with her." If you've executed the preceding stpes correctly, she will agree.

9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to she red something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it's on. Start looking for other IOIs.

10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other deomonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.

11. Tell her, "Beauty is common but what is rare is a great enery and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more of a mere face in the crowd?" If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.

12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word "So?" If she does, you've now seen three IOIs and can....

13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, "Would you like to kiss me?" If the setting or circumstances aren't conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, "I have to go, but we should continue this." Then get her number and leave.


So the photo trick they mention - Keep photos in an envelope (like a film envelope from target) so that it looks like you just got them developed. Have pictures of you with kids, pets and beautiful women. Have an interesting and funny story to go along with each photo.

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:35 PM

I thought the jose canseco book was the dumbest thing i have ever read

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:36 PM

i did some glossary work:
an IOI is a "indicator of interest"
a kino test is just touching a girl.

I'm fascinated by this book.

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:38 PM

It is designed to look like the bible too

stew on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 2:57 PM

Shit! Step 5- magic! So that's what I've been doing wrong...I gotta work on my fuckin magic skillz. Girls love magic. Was that book written by a FAG??

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:01 PM

I'm going to buy the book, take it up to a bar, and start reading it. And I'm going to sit there highlighting gay stuff until some girl comes up, and we'll make fun of the book together.

and then I'll show her a magic trick, as her if she wants to kiss me. 60% of the time, it'll work everytime.

Bigworm on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:07 PM

Magic..you fuckers want magic?

The best trick ever.

"Does this look like a Q?"
"How bout now?"

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:16 PM

I just want to know when 'so any of you girls ever been penetrated' quit working

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:26 PM

the louisville free public library carries this book. it is currently checked out of the main branch. I am thinking about reserving it.

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:43 PM

if you want to read it, just search for it on amazon.com and click on "Search inside this book."

And then you can browse like 6 pages at a time. When you get to the sixth page, just search for the last sentance on that page and start reading from there.

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 3:51 PM

comedy from chapter 4:

"As soon as you ask yourself whether you should or shouldn't, that means you should. And what you do is, you phase-shift. Imagine a giant gear thudding down in your head, and then go for it. Start hitting on her. TELL HER YOU JUST NOTICED SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL SKIN, AND START MASSAGING HER SHOULDERS." (emphasis mine).

And later on the page:

"But how do you kiss her?"
"I just say, 'Would you like to kiss me?'"
"And then what happens?"
"OPne of three things. If she says 'yes', which is very rare, you kiss her. If she says 'Maybe,' or hesitates, then you say, 'let's find out,' and kiss her. And if she says, 'no', you say, 'i didn't say could. it just looked like you had something on your mind.'"
"you see, you have nothing to lose. every contigency is planned for. it's foolproof. that is the kiss-close."



Ah, these guys haven't met me. Other contigencies:
1) She laughs at you
2) She says "never talk to me again, you freak."
3) She gets up and leaves
4) Some dude (or maybe your soul that has left your body out of embarrassement) punches you in the face for being gay

There is a poem on page 30 called "sexual frustration."

I am tempted to overnight this book from amazon.com.

joe on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:08 PM

great book for the coffee table in your new place

Bigworm on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:15 PM

How has this not made the bestseller list. Let's be honest, this is comedy gold.

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:24 PM

oh man, i figured searching for sex would get some good results....

"I took a set toward her, prepared to fall on her in an embrace. But suddenly the foulest smell I have ever encountered assailed my nostrils. It literally pushed me backwrd. It was the exact rancid-cheese smell that homeless alchoholics on New York subways have. The kind that clears the whole subway car. No matter how many steps back I took, the inensity of the smell did not diminish. It dilled the entire room, every available space.

I looked at her, lying back on the bed, wanton, oblivious. It was her feet. Her feet were strinking up the room.

I had to get out of there.


that was the end of the chapter. but the next chapter was about "f-closing" on a girl and I read a bit ahead. Let me just say this guy is talking about meeting a girl at a bar, and leaving with her and a friend.

"What did we talk about on the way to her car? Nothing much, just lame talk about how cold it was, what I do and other general chitchat. It was so implied that this was a one-night stand. We got to her car and her friend said she wanted pizza. Here's what Extramask was thinking:"

"FUCK PIZZA, YOU STUPID BITCH. I'M A VIRGIN AND I WANT TO GET LAID FUCKING NOW. GO TAKE YOUR OWN CAR AND GET YOUR OWN FUCKING PIZZA." (the book wrote that in all caps)

Brock on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:27 PM

Other contingencies:

5) She asks if you have a lighter. and you turn to your freind who doesn't smoke and make the "lighter" gesture like a moron.

Which leads me to the conclusion that this book was written by Adrian, b/c the dude can just say "Yeah, I lied, so kiss me," and pull it off.

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:29 PM

oh shit, the next page:

"wide face forgot all about the pizza. we dropped her off, and I moved to the front seat. I was looking at her mediocre body thinking, "This is cool. I'm gonna get to touch all of that shit."

ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa


"she came out in her pajamas and told me I could go use the bathroom. I didn't need to, but I figured this was part of the whole sex thing, so I went. I was a virgin at this point - had no clue. So I went to the bathroom and just kinda sood there. I didn't wash my cock or anything. The only thing I thought of doing was calling Vision to tell him that I was about to fuck her."

Phil on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 4:33 PM

after "This is cool. I'm gonna get to touch all of that shit" I couldn't help myself.

I got this shit overnighted to my work. It better get here tomorrow.

douglas on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 5:53 PM

next time we go out drinking (tomorrow) bring that shit, it'll get the night started right, and if I get drunk enough, I'll try any of those things you fuckers want me to.

douglas on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 6:23 PM

talk about throwing a hot dog into a hallway
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9680098/

douglas on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 6:31 PM

got this off news of the weird, pay attention to #3:
Well-Stated
(1) Broward County (Fla.) school board member Robin Bartleman, explaining in July why she finally accepted an elementary school's new policy of no running on the playground: "To say 'no running' on the playground seems crazy, but your feelings change when you're in a closed-door meeting with lawyers." (2) The costume designer for the new movie "Superman Returns," explaining in September (in Newsweek) her toughest problem: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round?" (3) The child-targeted advertising slogan for Tomamasu Corp.'s new nonalcoholic beverage "Kidsbeer" (which looks and foams like beer but is actually a cola): "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink." [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 7-18-05] [Arizona Republic-Newsweek, 9-6-05] [New York Times, 9-19-05]

stew on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 10:33 PM

SI's midseason all american team:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/20...n.aa/index.html

joe on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 9:36 AM

So word is spreading around the office about the book. It is officially the end of that guy. He is now a laughingstock.

Bigworm on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 9:52 AM

Good job Joe - now you need to point and laugh at him and his frat buddies.

joe on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:08 AM

The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make

Sounds like another thumping good read

Bigworm on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:17 AM

Some basketball goodness. The last scene is pretty good.

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=2...Stupid%20Videos

Bigworm on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:38 AM

Further proof that women get crazy over kids.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/13/pr...cked/index.html

Bigworm on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:41 AM

Cheerleaders!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/mu.../content.1.html

Bigworm on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 11:27 AM

MILF!

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=d...al%20Geographic

joe on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 3:13 PM

Today needs to end already

Brock on Friday, October 14, 2005 at 6:35 PM

I'm back! Anything going on tonight?

Bigworm on Saturday, October 15, 2005 at 9:05 PM

Southern Cal vs. Notre Dame was one hell of a game. Instant classic really.

stew on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 1:06 AM

I can't believe Adrian hasn't slammed U of L yet. Yes, we are now 4-2.

Brock on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 3:23 AM

And... UC is 1-1 in the Big East. I shall covet this moment when UC is higher in the standings that UofL until next week, when they have the same record.

Phil on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 6:27 PM

fuckin' randy moss. fuck him up his broken tailbone.

i'm going to lose to a team with four guys not playing.

stew on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 9:11 PM

Just got back from seeing "Into the Blue" which stars Paul Walker and the beautiful Jessica Alba. It is actually a really good movie. I would highly recommend it to anybody. Also there are plenty of images of Ms. Alba for the "spank bank"! Damn that woman is fine!

stew on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 9:17 PM

Ha! You know what's really funny? (in an ironic sort or way)
The NY Times preseason Rose Bowl prediction: UL vs. Michigan. Whoever wrote that should be fired!

Marc on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 2:06 AM

Kiera Knightley loves cunt
http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type...ira%20Knightley

joe on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 7:41 AM

I seek the fluids of the dead!!

adrian on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 8:33 AM

Stew, i thought about talking some shit about louisville but I could honestly care less. I was more upset with Notre Dame and Penn St. losing.

Also you can honestly tell me that with the "loli-pop" schedule The cards were given and being in the Big East that you didn't have them in the Rose Bowl? If you say no, you are full of shit!

Bigworm on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 8:46 AM

Kiera Knightley is so freaking hottttttt, except in Domino! Other than that though, she is smoking.

Bigworm on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 11:09 AM

Finally I have some damn people in the line-up who are actually scoring some points for me.

douglas on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 11:25 AM

i sucked this week

Brock on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 11:51 AM

I won't even mention how awesome my team is, oops, too late.

adrian on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 12:00 PM

Best buy is selling the XBOX 360 gamining console for 299.99. I thought that it would be a lot more expensive that that. There is no way PS3 will be that cheap.

Marc on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 2:32 PM

A Joke that reminds me on Natty Sci

A new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says " I have the most amazing news. Your boy can fly". The doctor sees the doubt in the fathers eyes so he offers a demonstration. He picks up the little boy, holds him high in the air and then lets go. The baby falls to the floor with a loud thump.

"You son of a bitch" says the new father, ready to kill the doctor. " Wait, something must be wrong. He flew this morning. Let me try again". He flings the boy across the room and he slams against the wall and slides down to the floor.

"Oh my god, I am going to kill you" says the father as he is running towards the baffeled doctor. "No no wait, I know what I did wrong. I promise it will work this time". He opens the window and tosses the kid out. The kid of course falls 7 stories and leaves a mess on the sidewalk below. By this time the father is choking the doctor. With his last breath the doctor says " I was just messing with you. Your son was born dead."

joe on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 2:38 PM

wow

douglas on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 2:51 PM

i'm truly speechless...being a father myself, i am all at once offended, dumbfounded, and even though that is truly wrong, i'm still laughing my ass off b/c that was fucking hilarious. bravo

douglas on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 2:52 PM

rocky 6, they say it's supposed to be more like the first two rockies. even with how badly rocky 5 sucked, i'm still gonna go watch this one.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9728209/

joe on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 3:44 PM

sad day in the NBA...Allan Houston is retiring

Green Baron on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 3:47 PM

I've heard that joke, but a different version.
Here are pleny more dead baby jokes for those of you who like them:
http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/dbj_001.htm

Green Baron on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 3:50 PM

Anybody seen Amazon Women on the Moon.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092546/

Anyway, the only funny skit in it is the hospital scene, where the doctor loses the baby and replaces it with a Mr. Potato Head.

Classic...

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 4:05 PM

so, the ex-FBI headline on fark...I did that!

Green Baron on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 4:07 PM

I have a question for the geek squad:

So, the chances of winning the Powerball are like 1:300 million or something, right? Well, what about just the powerball?

Well, there are 42 balls to choose between for the Powerball. So why is it, on the Powerball site, and on the pick sheet, does it say that the probability of hitting the powerball as drawn is 1 in 68.96.

How the hell is it not 1 in 42? It's like they add 1.5 times as many balls.

What the fuck? I want some answers....

Ha ha ha....I said "balls."

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:05 PM

oooh, oooh...I know why it isn't 1 in 42. I know why it's not 1 in 42! Because you need to factor in the odds of NOT getting any of the other ones right.

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:06 PM

I found a page that breaks down the odds and even uses Excel's COMBIN function. Good times.

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:14 PM

opps, forgot the link: http://www.durangobill.com/PowerballOdds.html

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:16 PM

IMDb's 15th anniversary: http://www.imdb.com/features/15thanniversary/

douglas on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:40 PM

phil, it doesn't bother me that you knew the answer, but rather you got so excited about it. i want your job by the way, do you and wes do anything at work other than find links and surf the net?

Phil on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 5:45 PM

I'm just killing time right now waiting for trivia at flanagan's and letting some process run in the background.

wes is the one who spends all day surfing the internet.

Bigworm on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 7:55 PM

Yeah I am on the internet quit a bit, mainly doing market research for potential new APIs to sell. I know this might be crazy, but by using the internet you have access to limitless amounts of information (of course verifying the information is the hard part).

What can I say. Life is good.

stew on Monday, October 17, 2005 at 9:01 PM

Wow. I hate to be the killjoy, but one of my good buddy's at work just lost a baby this week. His girlfriend had a miscarriage. They had a name for the little guy and everything. I know it wasn't meant maliciously, but I have had my fill of dead babies this week.

Phil on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 9:20 AM

random videos from google: http://video.google.com/videorandom

Green Baron on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 11:49 AM

That Katie Couric interviewing Ann Coulter is absolutely great.

You know, I kind of liked Katie Couric before, but now I so wanna stick it to her after her taking that dragon-bitch retard and sticking her face into a pile of dog shit and screaming, "Yah, you like that shit....mmmm....that's good shit isn't it bitch? God, your such a fucking full of shit retard"

That was great.

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