Moving on up, to the east side… of Frankfort

mullet

So as you know, I (Big Jay) am moving on Saturday. I will be picking up the truck in the morning, and was hoping to start at noon. I will be moving from my mother’s house, so if you don’t know how to get there, give me a call. (I don’t want to post her address on the interweb). I would like to get a head count on whom to expect. I assure you that there will be pizza and beer at the end of the day. If you have any questions, drop me a line. And yes, I did just use the phrase “drop me a line.” Thank you in advance for your help. Natty Sci, do or die!

Posted by Jay on January 30th, around midnight | 517 comments

Comments

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 11:39 AM

new post for the big jay moving experience!

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 11:49 AM

As of now, I will be able to help and own a truck. UL does play at noon on Saturday though, so you might want to have access to a TV or radio while the move takes place.

Jay on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 11:51 AM

that can be arranged.

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 11:59 AM

Posted this in the other sublect, then thought I should put it here. Does anyone want to come down for Mardi Gras and or the UK-LSU game? Tickets are still available for the game, but we should probably get on it soon.

Wing Commander on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 12:05 PM

Any good bars near your new place?

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 12:06 PM

chuck klosterman has a weblog on the superbowl: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...osterman/060130

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 12:13 PM

Happy B-day to my hero Wilmer Vanderama (26). It is amazing the ass this c/d list celebrity can pull.

douglas on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 12:21 PM

he has certainly garnered my respect

Marc on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 12:57 PM

Jay, you know I can help you move. (And no philco move jokes. i stayed up all-night that night because i couldn't fall asleep, and then finally did like an hour and a half till the suggested move time. but seriously.....who completely moves in less than an hour and half?...by 10:30 in the morning? beating "the game" deadline by four hours?

if needed i'll bet i can car-jack my mom and dad's new Jeep Grand Cherokee too.

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:49 PM

When they say bike, what do they mean? Was it a bike or a motorcycle or scooter?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/20...y.ap/index.html

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:52 PM

It says bicycle, so I'me guessing peddling was involved

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:54 PM

New Coaches poll is out. No cards, cats, jayhawks, tarheels, or even bayou bengals

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:54 PM

I can't read

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:56 PM

I know joe it's ok...wes can't either

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 1:57 PM

to defend my honor the front page of cnnsi.com simply said bike. I chose not to read the rest.

Jay on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 2:23 PM

Thanks, Marc. I don't think we will need your parents' jeep. I'm going to rent a pretty good size truck. Mostly, we just need someone to drive the movers to frankfort.

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 2:27 PM

this made my laugh
http://www.cracked.com/sports/superbowl/

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 2:34 PM

good stuff Phil

Jay on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 2:37 PM

I know there's a joke in this headline somewhere.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...EMPLATE=DEFAULT

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 2:52 PM

A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American from the Army Corps of Engineers-- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please, tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 ft thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Marc on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:01 PM

Nice wes. Always one for P.C. just kidding. very funny. but the bigger question was what were a Canadian, American,and Osama doing together. The American shoulda used the Canadian to beat Osama. I mean what else are Canadians good for (besides lower drug costs, and beavers on coins)

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:05 PM

...Conan O' Brien and Pamela Anderson

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:08 PM

Did anyone see the time Triumph the insult comic dog went to Quebec? He had a translator and said to one local "I'm sorry I don't speak much French. I only know the basic, most important words, like 'I surrender'."

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:09 PM

barry's quote inspired me to go look up quotes from the life of brian on IMDB. It's going to be an AWESOME day.

/"All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:12 PM

Ok, but what the hell does Triumph have to do with Monty Python?

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:18 PM

Joe, is this the guy that broke your jaw?
http://x.go.com/cgi/x.pl?goto=http:...015&srvc=sz

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:20 PM

just the follow up from the "what else are candians good for" thing reminded me of the "what have the romans done for us?"

Reg: And what have they ever given us in return?
Rebel2: The aquaduct?
Reg: What?
Rebel2: The aquaduct.
Reg: Oh yeah, yeah. They did give us that. That's true, yeah.
Rebel3: And sanitation.
Loretta: Oh yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like.
Reg: Yeah, all right, I'll grant you the aquaduct , the santation are two things the Romans have done...
Mathias: And the roads.
Reg Well, yeah. Obviously the roads, I mean the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aquaduct, and the roads...
Rebel4: Irrigation.
Rebel2: Medcine.
Rebel5: Education.
Reg: Yeah, yeah, all right. Fair enough...
Rebel1: And the wine.
Rebels: Oh, yeah
Francis: Yeah. Yeah, That's something that we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left, huh.
Rebel6: Public baths.
Loretta: And it's safe to walk the in streets at night now Reg.
Francis: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it, the only ones who could in a place like this.
Reg: All right. But apart from the sanitation, the medecine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health... What have the Romans ever done for us?
Rebel2: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace. Shaddup.

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:20 PM

Bush using State of the Union to speak on Alternative Energy Sources.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060130...HNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:25 PM

Adrian - 2007 Ford Edge

http://www.motortrend.com/autoshows..._ford_edge.html

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:29 PM

I'm with you now Phil

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:44 PM

i can see the ads now:
"The 2007 Ford Edge - if it was a minivan the doors would slide. these doors totally don't slide. See? It's not a minivan damn it!"

Marc on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:46 PM

Hey look, Donkeylips has a Myspace account
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cf...iendID=29358052
Now any good Selenium jokes?

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:48 PM

i never watched the show, but I was sent this link in the past regarding donkeylips: http://www.donkeylips.net

Jay on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:52 PM

I recently saw donkey lips. I can't remember what it was, but he has really let himself go. And Barry, Conan O'Brian comes from some suburb of Boston.

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:54 PM

Philco - That's right..doors don't slide..must not be a minivan.

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 3:57 PM

I did not know that. I just thought I heard him talk about being Canadian oh well Fuck the Canadians then!

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:01 PM

oh canada, my home and native land, trur patriot love....Go Leafs Go!!

joe on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:04 PM

http://www.jackbauerfacts.com/index.php

Marc on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:18 PM

if you loved "Lazy Sunday" (chronic-cles of narnia) by Chris Parnell and Adam Samberg on SNL....look at this spoof by two 11-year olds. pretty funny.
http://www.devilducky.com/media/41290/

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:26 PM

Classic Joe. "Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer."

douglas on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:38 PM

Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces.

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:41 PM

Jack Bauer is a bad ass, I must give him that.

Barry on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:47 PM

Can Jack Bauer play for UL tonight and kill all the Nova players, fans, and coaches?

Bigworm on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 4:54 PM

First of all Jack Bauer can kill anyone, so the answer to 1/2 of that question is yes.

Unless Nova is secretly tied to a terrorist network, I'd probably so NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

On a side note, it might be rather easy to convince Jack Bauer that Cincy is associated with terrorists!

Jihad Mohammed.

Brock on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 5:29 PM

Its Jihad MUHAMMAD, you SOB!

Jerome on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 6:00 PM

ok ... the boys are in Detroit. Safe to assume no transportation fuck ups. Now, let's get through a week without pulling a "Viking Cruise" incident. That last thing we need is headlines about James Farrior bustin' his nut all over some skank ass ho.

Jerome on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 6:06 PM

More cowbell EVERY DAY!!!
http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/pag...hName%3dsimmons

Phil on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 9:44 PM

more cowbell is good, klosterman blog even better!

here is a lot of Super Bowl merchandise available in this Renaissance Center, and throughout the city as a whole. This, obviously, is neither surprising nor problematic. But here's what always baffles me: Why would anyone buy a T-shirt (or a hat, or an ascot, or a waterproof matador cape) that merely promotes "Super Bowl XL"? An inordinate percentage of the available items in the Renaissance Center's gift kiosks do not feature the logos of the Seahawks or the Steelers; they generically advertise the abstract existence of a football game. This would be like going to see Marilyn Manson at Madison Square Garden and buying a $22 T-shirt that said, "THEATRICAL, DRUG-FUELED ROCK CONCERT." It reminds me of the nonspecific commercials TV networks like NBC run that promote the channel itself, almost as if they assume there are actually people who privately think, "I have no idea what's on television right now, but I better check NBC first. I get the impression they're especially confident about the quality of their current programming."
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...klosterman/blog

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 7:54 AM

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_...r/barneys_blog/

adrian on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 8:02 AM

Cards need to throw in a few more Highschool games at the end of the season next year.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 8:15 AM

UL basically has to win their next five games against ND, Cincy, USF, Syracuse and Depaul. A loss to one of those schools and they are shit out of luck.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 8:37 AM

Was anybody listening to Tony and Dwight this morning? They were saying something about gutterminds and pornographic memory. Did anybody hear this? I caught the end of it and had no clue what they were talking about. Can anybody fill me in?

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 8:49 AM

Barney's Haikus kick ass!!
---------------------------

Joe is piss drunk now
Can't get it up to please her
Slow clap while she cries

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:00 AM

My wife and kid gone
this means i can leave the house
I'm married, I'm gay

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:03 AM

did we just invent the haiku burn?

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:04 AM

oh yeah ... haiku burns rule!

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:39 AM

I just got burned by an underwriter for using the phrase "sweet action."

She said, "Ya sound like my 11 year old.....these days everything is "sweet" to her. Keep it up...."

Ouch my dignity.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:50 AM

i need a good comeback that won't get me fired. Little help.

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:53 AM

"i must have subconsciously picked up saying sweet from your daugher last night. surprised I could understand her with her face burried in that pillow"

that'd work at my office at least.

sleepless in seattle recut trailer: http://www.tomatopatch.com/films/sleepless.htm

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:58 AM

that was a little too much

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 10:01 AM

How old is she? You might be able to point out that you are closer in age to her daughter than to her. That's always fun. As long as she is over 35 you're good to go.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 10:02 AM

All I know is that she has an 11 year old daughter and works in Akron, OH.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 10:03 AM

this is just email and phone communication. We don't know shit about each other.

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 10:20 AM

Just email her back and say, "Wow, you're really old."

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 10:21 AM

That's like kickin' a chick in the balls.

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 11:10 AM

if i had 11 year old I would have knocked up a chick when I was 11.

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 11:40 AM

Well Joe you can always use the "Great minds think alike" comment which is the subtle way to tell her "you are a stupid bitch" or say "Sorry that is my other side coming out". Tell her "you like cars with Hemi engines and you love those Dodge commercials that feature the rednecks and how those commercials are helping break down the wall for guys with mullets landing corporate jobs".

I think you should use this as an opportunity to have fun and make her think everyone in The Ville sports the Kentucky Waterfall and we all drive muscle cars, atleast an 80's firebird if nothing else.

We can get someone who is decent at photoshop to get a picture of Joe Dirt and you with the aviator glasses and morph them.

Sweeeeeeeeet!

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 11:51 AM

I want that picture

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:03 PM

It was only a matter of time. Drinking game for the State of the Union Address.

The George W Bush 2006 State of the Union drinking game
Step-by-step instructions for surviving the smirk


What you need:


A group of four taxpayers: one white guy wearing a suit, two people wearing jeans -- one in a work shirt, the other in a dark shirt -- and one person wearing rags. (Stitched-together washcloths are nice.) All four taxpayers are grouped around a cocktail table within sight of the television. Newspapers on floor in front of television.

One shot glass per person. Everyone brings their own and places it on the table. Suit picks one first. Then Work Shirt. Then Dark Shirt. Suit takes the last one as well, and Rags gets a Dixie Cup with the top scissored off.

5 bucks apiece, everybody antes.

One fondue pot with two packages of Li'l Smokies stewing in barbecue sauce on table. Preferably a sauce from Texas. Surrounded by:

100 cocktail toothpicks. The kind with the little American flags wrapped around the top.

A large stash of beer. Rags gets the cheapest stuff you can find, like Old Milwaukee Light; Suit gets to drink whatever import he asks for; the jeans get to pick their favorite domestic brand, but they are required to pay for all the beer and the Li'l Smokies.
Rules of the Game.

1. Whenever George W uses the phrases: "national security," "tax relief," "activist judges," or "affordable health care," drink two shots of beer.

2. Whenever George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to grab a toothpick, stand, and salute must drink three shots of beer. If you stab yourself in forehead with the toothpick, drink two more shots.

3. If George W actually says, "If Al Qaeda is calling you, we want to know why." first person to finish a whole beer gets to toss Li'l Smokies at any of the others until they finish their beer. Use the toothpicks.

4. If George W makes up a word like "strategerie" or "deteriorize," drink four shots of beer.

5. If George W speaks of Hamas and repeats his earlier statement that "it's good to see people are demanding honest leadership," the first person to stop laughing gets to drink one shot of beer then pummel Suit with empty shot glass. No head shots.

6. Whenever George W talks about bi-partisanship, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to eat 4 Li'l Smokies.

7. If either the Vice President Dick Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught napping, last person to sing "Wake Up Little Susie, Wake Up," has to drink three shots of beer.

8. Predict the number of applause breaks. Person closest to correct number may then force the other three to drink that number of shots of beer in whatever ratio they wish.

9. Three shots of beer if he mentions New Orleans. Five shots of beer if he mentions Brownie. Two full beers if he mentions Abramoff.

10. Every time Tom DeLay is shown in the audience, take turns throwing Li'l Smokies at the TV. Suit sits out. First face hit doesn't have to drink two shots of beer. Every time Hillary Clinton is shown in the audience, Suit throws Li'l Smokies at the TV. If he hits her face, everyone else drinks two shots of beer. Use the toothpicks.

11. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to fall to their knees and cry "Hallelujah!" drinks two shots of beer.

12. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

EXTRAS:



Whoever can correctly identify in advance the person giving the Democratic Response doesn't have to watch it.

Suit gets to kick Rags hard, once, if George W uses a heartfelt story of a pulling yourself up by your bootstraps to illustrate a point. Twice if the regulation of large cardboard boxes is mentioned as a security precaution. Rags gets 15 seconds to kick the Suit if Bush reveals the subject of the anecdot

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:07 PM

Askmen.com top 99 most desirable women.

http://www.askmen.com/specials/2006...rnikova-99.html

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:09 PM

The Virginian Governer Kaine is giving the Rebuttle. I don't have to whatch it. HA HA!

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:11 PM

so who would be the first to stab themselves with the toothpick?

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:13 PM

me

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:13 PM

I would do that sober

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:16 PM

but what do I know, apparently, based on insults thrown at me today, I am an 11 year old girl that can't get it up to please the ladies.

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:16 PM

Today is justin timberlakes' birthday. Maybe for a present Marc could return his jacket.

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:18 PM

Going back to the haiku burn, here is one on myself
Can't get no action
Makes me very sad in pants
I masturbate more

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:21 PM

joe is eleven
he can not please the ladies
pretty pathetic

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:29 PM

Douglas has a child
Where is his baby's mama
Out now with B-Mac

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 12:52 PM

jay is a virgin
can't pick up chicks at porter's
even dirty ones

Barry on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 1:18 PM

better be virgin
than have to pay child support
how's that for first try?

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 1:21 PM

Trivia is life
O'Sheas girls make his dick hard
He still can't get laid

That haiku was crap
I don't know why I wrote it
Could be anyone

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 1:35 PM

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/e...3867808000.html

Lindsay is naked
Showered with Brian Adams
Slut needs ten stitches

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:20 PM

Sorry douglas I
Think that we can all agree
Green Baron's a douche

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:22 PM

oh holy shit
that's fucking hilarious
just spit out my food

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:26 PM

Bobby Knight’s Ten Commandments
by Matt Jones @ 1:08 pm. Filed under News You Can Use
I was searching around the internet last night (after the Bachelor) and came upon a guy who claimed to have taken a basketball coaching course from Bobby Knight when he was at Indiana. He published the list of “Ten Commandments” of College basketball coaching. I found them very interesting and the type of thing that UK could use occasionally:

1. Shot selection. Who shoots? Where, when and how?
• 2. Develop role players. You need a player who can set an offensive screen. You need a rebounder. You need a shooter.
• 3. Everybody rebounds. Everybody.
• 4. Player movement. How hard are you going to play on offense? A team that stands around will not be successful.
• 5. Spacing. Fifteen-to-18 feet between players on offense.
• 6. Be organized on offense. Attack the basket. Very few people can guard the driver.
• 7. Are you scoring inside points?
• 8. Less than 10 turnovers. One turnover equals two shots.
• 9. Offensive rebounds are mandatory.
• 10. How soon in the game did you get to one-and-one?”

The question is of course whether these commandments will be allowed to be posted in elementary schools..

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:28 PM

Green Baron's a douche
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:32 PM

Brock loves big johnson
In his face all day every day
Homosexual!

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:33 PM

Sorry Brock - I debated for a long time, but gave in to the 3rd grade humor.

Haiku nattysci style rules!

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:33 PM

I always know that
A Green Baron is a douche
joke gets many laughs

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:33 PM

Even bigger burn - I can't count syllables

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:34 PM

you can force the syllables kinda like a forced rhyme in a poem.

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:36 PM

I think I am smart
Syllables prove to be hard
I am an idiot!

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:38 PM

Movie Haiku:

Haziz smoke my pole
Titties feel like big sandbags
Park bike in your trunk

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 2:45 PM

Joe stews at his desk
Old broad no match for the Sci
Fight with flatulence

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:14 PM

i'd be happy if the Bills obtained draft rights for the safety in this video: http://media.putfile.com/Kylar

Brock on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:16 PM

Pot call kettle black
Wes strokes it to Bachelor
How gay is that, fag!

Rumage on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:39 PM

Haikus are awesome
Rumage says reluctantantly
Goes back to lurking

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:39 PM

O RLY?

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/World/Iran

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:45 PM

Joe, Jay, Doug, and Wes
We all know which one is best
They all stick the ass

Green Baron is great
he don't need to masterbate
He not into dudes

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:48 PM

Queerer than Elton
Dressed up as Gay Ass Pirate
How gay is that, FAG!



Rumage on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:51 PM

All you butt pirates
Need to see Brokeback Mountain
And have a good cry

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:53 PM

Pitcher and catcher
The ambiguously gay
duo Brock and Baron.

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:55 PM

Green Baron is dumb
Douglas is his last name and
You suck monkey pole

Jay on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 3:58 PM

There were twenty six
Haikus so this makes twenty
seven and I rule

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:02 PM

we should all have a coffee house night at joe's, get drunk, and read a bunch of these dumbass poems. better yet, we should publish a book. that's gotta make some money

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:10 PM

New Way To Get Laid?
The Natty Sci Poetry Book
Panties Drop for Art

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:13 PM

there is a mob downstairs at the branch because some 38 construction workers are spliting up a check for 200 million or something from a lottery. I might have to go down there and kick some ass. Jackpot!

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:16 PM

Mullet hair rockers
Driving El-caminos and
Drinking Natty Lite

joe on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:22 PM

fat chicks need lovin'
its all pink on the inside
smack! ride the wave in.

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:27 PM

Brockback Mountain fea-
turing the Green Baron and Brock
Gay butt sex lovin'

Makes me want to puke
nauseous feeling in my gut
I think I will hurl!

Wes, Jay, Joe, and ED
Hanging out laughing at homos
Hetero fun times!

Brock on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:31 PM

Chicks dig the Captain
Jealousy haunts the Douchebag
Ladies bang Captain

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:32 PM

Wes, Jay, Joe, and Douglas
No one cares which name is which
When you're plugging ass

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:33 PM

Baron you are right
Your mom never cares bout names
Just dick in her ass

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:34 PM

Green Baron kicks ass
doesn't plug like Jay and Wes
they both love the cock

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:35 PM

flame war in haiku
no one has yet said fuck you
fuck you to haiku

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:36 PM

you are very gay
did i mention you are gay?
well you're gay indeed

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:39 PM

Only you would know
about a dick in the ass
you like it a lot

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:41 PM

so, when I woke up today, i never really thought I'd be reading haiku's calling people gay.

for big jay and adrian: http://jesusrpgadventure.ytmnd.com/

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:44 PM

What an egotistical fuck:
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/5293688

-"I'd much rather go out and score 25 points and get 10 assists and see everybody in a rhythm, everybody in a groove."

Only 25 points? Is that all you're willing to sacrifice for a win? Cocksucker...

Kobe bryant loves
The cock as much as douglas
wes, jay and joe do

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:44 PM

so only i would know about my dick in your mom's ass? agreed...

Brock on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:46 PM

Wow... Natty Sci digressed into people calling each other gay... how weird!

He so loves Big Red
I do not have a lighter
Adrian you goof

Brock on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:52 PM

One question I have: why are we harassing each other when there are so many Duke fans out there. I like the energy, now we just need to project it on correct targets, like Rick Moranis... damn you to hell Rick Moranis!

Damn Rick Moranis
You shrunk the kids far too much
Rick dies firey death

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:52 PM

Joe, Douglas, and Wes
Likes to put dick in girl butts
Jay is a Virgin

Differ Isaac does
he prefers to ass ram men
Brock agrees with this

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:54 PM

I the BIG Winner
Isaac has the gaping ass
from Erwin Rommel

Bigworm on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:56 PM

As much fun as it is to sit around and call people gay. I think we should take Brock's advice and re-focus our mana. Haikus with respect to Barney or Dwight Schrute is the real challenge. Or calling DUKE gay is always good.

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 4:57 PM

during krazy camP
I stuck myself with a tree
marc's sexy chest

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 5:02 PM

Coach K is homo
I hate the Duke Blue Devils
Die Christian Laettner

douglas on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 5:03 PM

is that more appropriate?

Phil on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 5:08 PM

more updates from klosterman:

There is no question that religiosity is an athletic advantage -- I bet if those "Freakonomics" authors did a little research, they would find that the winning percentage of NFL teams is directly proportional to the number of born-again Christians on the active roster. I mean, how hard would YOU work if you thought you were working for God? In all likelihood, you do not associate your day-to-day job with Jesus; if you did, you probably wouldn't be sitting at your desk and reading this blog.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...klosterman/blog

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 5:14 PM

Green Baron does not
ass ram men, he is married
and not into dudes

Green Baron on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 5:19 PM

Some quotes from the British (better) version of The Office:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290978/quotes

like this one:

Gareth: I'm not saying everybody with disabilities is faking it, I'm just saying there should be tests
Tim: We're all ears Gareth
Gareth: Well I don't know, when they go down the DSS to make a claim then they should set off a fire alarm fake fire alarm, everybody legs it out the office leaving them there. If they're fake they'll be up and running with them, if they're real they'll be left there screaming for help.
And then everyone comes back in, says, "No, it's all right, you don't need to cry; it was just a test, here's your check"

I filled in the missing bits...

Jerome on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 at 9:22 PM

How did Klosterman know I was sitting at my desk? The guy's a fuckin' psychic, I swear.

Marc on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 1:27 AM

Lay off the Baron guys,
If somebody says something stupid call them on it at the moment. Don't hold onto that resentment and never listen to them or their point of view again. We have all disagreed with each other, and you can disagree with their current statement....but don't just dismiss them or ignore them because you didn't like what they said in the past. That comes off elitist and petty.

That being said sorry I missed a huge ridiculously long day of burn posts (hiaku burns to be more specific).

Chicks dig Natty Sci
Ok, no they really do not
Chloroform still works

Brock on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 3:09 AM

Thanks for the comment Marc, I think you have been a sobering and dependable opinon as of late. Want to run for New Orleans mayor?

I'd also like to thank South Florida for continuing their crappiness and giving UC a 4-4 record in the Big East! I actually went out and got drunk tonight celebrating a victory instead of cursing the day Nancy Zimpher and her elitist bitch-ass was born.

Brock on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 3:13 AM

ITS 3 AM! DAMNIT! Oh well, I'm on salary, they can kiss my ass when I walk in at noon tomorrow. Yeah, you heard me Baron, you can kiss my ass when I walk in at noon. Are you done writing your paper? I didn't think so... stop reading Nattysci.com (your complete guide to the day's daily events and stupidity) and finish that damn paper. I'm tired of the boss cracking the whip on me! Oh yeah, if you see him, tell him I got Salmonella and won't be in until noon.

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 7:45 AM

I think Jan. 31 should be international haiku burn day.

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 7:48 AM

anybody know which episode this is or if it is on the new season?

http://www.lemonzoo.com/funny_video...tewie.html#mtop

Jay on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 7:54 AM

I agree joe.
Marc defends Baron
Says we should not make fun of
Him, they have buttsekks

Jerome on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 8:08 AM

Joe, I have that episode downloaded. Shoot an email over to me and I'll get the episode to you. It's from this season. It's where Peter gets pissed off at the FCC and starts his own TV station. It's brilliant. i_am_jerome at hotmail dot com

Jerome on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 8:09 AM

The Jaguars just hired David Putty from Seinfeld ... high five ...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/...tory?id=2314360

Green Baron on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:12 AM

Coming in at noon Brock?
Why so much earlier than normal? Sorry, I missed that.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:37 AM

Pretty funny stuff.

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3478338

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:39 AM

It's time to announce Nattysci's presence with authority!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/2006013...HNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:56 AM

strange little article on the dude from Sunspring and Metroschifter. Apparently he goes around stealing magenetic stickers off of cars and puts them on his refridgerator.

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:56 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND link: http://www.velocityweekly.com/cover/index.html

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:25 AM

i can only assume the silence is due to everyone beginning their collection of magnetic stickers.

fun story from trivia:
on the way out random crazy lady yelled out at the group of us (myself, marc, brent and a few of brent's friends) that we should "protect the constitution!" Needless to say I responded "Oh, we've been planning a bloody coup for months." At this point her eyes lit up and she went running to her busted ass volvo and said something along the lines of "hold on then, i've got something for you!"

i can't believe we lost to those wankers.

Jerome on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:35 AM

Something along the lines of "Lemon Law" ... we're trying to spread the usage of "bullpen" as a commonly uttered in the parlance of our times.

Have a meeting today? Make sure you "bullpen" ideas with another co-worker before the meeting so you can make sure you're of the same mind.

Going to lunch? Feel free to "bullpen" some thoughts while you wait for your pint of ale to arrive.

Tell your friends. It's gonna be a thing!

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:49 AM

Richter doesn't have a problem supporting the troops, just thinking God supports the war..so he removes "support the troops" ribbons?

Why is he not confiscating Islamic Korans or the severed heads of Americans at the hands of Islamic radicals who claim this for God?

I don't understand it.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:50 AM

Jay - sorry I was really trying to stay away from religion and politics, but I can't leave that one alone.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:01 PM

Richter is a thief
Illogical his thoughts are
Shove a grenade up

His arse and tell him
to kiss his queer ass good-bye
George Dubya Bush rules

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:07 PM

are we still on haikus.
perhaps we should switch to limericks or something

douglas on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:11 PM

That Ritcher guy is just a liberal hippie who thinks his opinion about shit matters. He said he didn't think the magnets were making any difference. Well how much of a difference is his stealing patriotic symbols making in his fight against the war?

douglas on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:11 PM

i hate hippies.

Brock on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:16 PM

I'm not sure what to think about the guy either, Wes. On one hand, he's got cool ideas and a witty sense about him. On the other, he's a pretentious prick.

I'm so hungry, I could steal an Arby's door mat!

Joe, you need one of those for your kitchen.

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:18 PM

An arbys door mat would be nice.

Jay on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:22 PM

I just put down my first months rent. I now officially have an apartment. I never did get a good head count of who will be showing up. So far it's Marc if he wakes up, Wes if Abby will let him, Joe if he doesn't die, and Phil if he can go without watching every single moment of the UofL game. (sorry about the cheap shots. I think my blood sugar is low or something)

douglas on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:29 PM

i've got to come in to work sat. morning so i won't be able to help. would if i could...

Jay on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 12:32 PM

That's cool, man.

Green Baron on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 1:22 PM

Can I throw my hat into the political/religious ring for a second:

Fuck politics, fuck religion.

Thanks!

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 1:31 PM

good move Baron.

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 1:35 PM

As a reward: http://www.foobies.com/

It's not Fark, It's Boobies (probably shouldn't be surfing it at work...)

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 1:41 PM

So if you fuck a religious politician does that count?

Jerome on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 2:26 PM

Bust this ... NATTY SCI all shizzy in the hizzy!!
http://sites.gizoogle.com/index2.ph...ww.nattysci.com

Jay on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 2:33 PM

You know Baron, for once I whole heartedly agree with you. Well played.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 2:44 PM

Baron - For once I will take your advice.

Now for more important matters.

http://www.dailyorange.com/media/pa...dailyorange.com

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 2:50 PM

new sports guy on Glory Road. Good opening about going to the movies alone that I'm sure Marc and Big Jay will appreciate: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...=simmons/060201

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 2:57 PM

Douglas and Adrian - Perhaps we should try this.

The 2005-2006 UK Basketball Drinking Game



As you may have heard, seen, or even suffered through, this is shaping up to be a pretty piss-poor season of UK Basketball. I love my Cats, but seriously this is becoming really painful. So, to help ease the pain of watching the games, a crew of UK fans from throughout the Midwest (and L.A.) have devised the 2005-2006 UK Basketball Drinking Game. Hopefully this will make the games slightly more entertaining and definitely more enjoyable.



The Rules:


Drink every time they show Ashley (drink two more if they show her shaking her head in disgust or some other indication that she agrees the 'Cats are sucking) .


Drink once every time they show Donna.


Drink twice every time they show Donna clapping in some way that maximizes the showing of her "bling" or fake nails.


Drink 2 every time they show Tubby give his stare.


Chug your drink when Tubby's coat comes off.


Drink every time an announcer comments on how we "just don't have Kentucky talent" or "the last time this happened to the Cats was...."


Drink twice when an announcer mentions that UK fans aren't used to losing.


Chug it if they discuss the possibility of us not making the NCAA tournament.


Drink every time the announcers mispronounce Woo-kosh Orb-zhoot.


Drink a grapefruit sized beverage every time there is mention of the grape fruit sized tumor that was taken from Sheray Thomas (Does anyone else think he played better with it?)


Drink when we actually use the full court press.


Drink every time Perry misses a lay-up, put back or dunk (this is good for at least 5 a game).


Drink every time the Cats have a 1 and 1 opportunity to cut into an opponents lead, miss the front end and the other team goes down and scores , killing the Cats "momentum".


Drink every time Patrick misses a 3. Drink 3 more if the announcers mention any of the clutch 3s Patrick shot last season ( Louisville, Michigan State).


Drink every time Rondo tries to do a finger roll under the basket and misses when he could have just made a layup.


Drink every time Orzbut completes a fantastically European foul like closelining someone across the face with both hands. Drink twice every time he gets away with it.


Drink two every time the team is obviously fighting with one another.


Drink three every time we throw an idiotic lob pass up the floor that
results in a turnover (either stolen or out of bounds).


If Morris gets two early fouls (within the first 5 minutes), power hour
until the end of the first half.


Drink three and say hallelujah if we score while in our half court offensive
set.


If Shagari Alleyne scores, scream "Go to Class!" then drink three.


Waterfall any time some white boy you've never heard of ends up on the court because we're getting our a$$es handed to us.


Social chug your drink if we shoot over 30% in either half.


Order and drink a shot to the ghost of Wayne Turner (or insert favorite UK player that actually cared that he was a 'Cat) during halftime .


At the end of the game, if the leading scorer was a walk-on or a freshman, chug your drink, order another, and chug it.

Goes-without-saying Rules:



- Forget the beer and stick to bourbon if Billy Packer or Dick Vitale are announcing the game
- Scream "Duke sucks!" and flip off the screen whenever the Duke team is mention for no real reason.

douglas on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 3:13 PM

i would love to do that, but we'd have to completely clear our schedules as how that game would leave us unconscious

Jay on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 4:11 PM

Today marks my sixth month with the state, and I am now off probation. Which means it's almost impossible to fire me. My supervisor came and got me for an evaluation, and told me what an exemlary job I have been doing. The ironic part is that I was playing around on the internet when she came and got me.

joe on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 4:13 PM

Is there any other way? You should have told her to hold on a second while you post on the sci, then go to your evaluation.

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 4:27 PM

Perhaps one of the biggest The Price is Right nerds ever: http://www.tpir.tv/spotlight/michael/michael.wmv

Jerome on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 4:49 PM

Proceed to the "HALL OF THE BLACK DRAGON" in order to see Melyssa Ford ... otherwise known as the hot ass chick from BET that made all the men at the Superbowl XL media day think the words "TAP THAT ASS"

http://www.halloftheblackdragon.com...dragon/2409.jpg

Green Baron on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 5:54 PM

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/...ure/4667100.stm

Not like anyone would care, but this brings to the table once again of Pluto not being a planet (my belief).
Here is his defense:

"I would not want to demote Pluto for historical and cultural reasons - you'd upset the schoolchildren. ,"

Yah, christ, couldn't you see all those schoolchildren bawling their eyes out over Pluto. The only reason Pluto stays a planet is because it's the only one found by US scientists, just in case you weren't aware of this. Personally, Pluto is too fucked up to be a planet, and I would rather it be dropped.
Of course, a new phrase would need to be invented to remember the order of the planets.

Brent on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 7:06 PM

Wait a minute, I thought Pluto was Mickey's Mouse's dog...how are you going off someone's dog dude?

Harsh.

Brent on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 7:09 PM

So how did Michael end up doing in the Showcase Showdown????

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 9:26 PM

oh, i can't believe i forgot to mention this, but Three Hole Punch got fired from BW3s. Apparently fucking someone in a car in the company parking lot after work, getting caught and then trying to call in to the 8:30 meeting the next day is grounds for dismissal.

I wouldn't last a week at such a company.

Green Baron on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 10:18 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060202.../bush_interview

That wasn't intended as political, that was intended as bullshit, I don't care who said it. How can anyone defend these absurd profits which are coming out of our pocket? God I hate the fucking oil companies. I'd buy a fucking horse if it could run 70 miles/hour.

Phil on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:37 PM

Stephanie Tanner - recently divorced and getting over a meth addiction.

giggity giggity giggity

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060202..._celeb_eo/18274

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 11:45 PM

How about we strap your ass on a cheetah?

Marc on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:04 AM

just like on Harold and Kumlar...the cheetah can transfer fast, even with stoners on its back.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:12 AM

Good pick up Marc - that was actually the inspiration for my post.

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 7:51 AM

Did anyone else find it strange that the olsen twins staged an intervention? What's next, eating?

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:10 AM

I can't get a job, I got too much money, I'm bored, hey lets do meth

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:41 AM

Where is Phil Connors when you need him?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060202...s/groundhog_day

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:50 AM

looks like nattysci.com just expired. time to figure out how to renew it...

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:51 AM

huh?

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:55 AM

if one was to type in nattysci.com, it won't take you to the site. greenknuckles.com and the v033u39lvs one work, but for now nattysci is done broke.

what is gay is that the e-mail address that was used to register the website was with new horizons, so I can't get my login info so i need to fax them some stuff. booo!

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:58 AM

interesting. There must be a lot of pissed of people out there.

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:11 AM

can we start natty sci radio? Tony and dwight are having chicks call in and fake orgasms on the air. They are also having chicks call in and ask if they would do it with another chick. Brilliant.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:15 AM

Must already be fixed because when I type in "nattysci.com" it takes me to nattysci.com

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:29 AM

hmmm, i think there might be some DNS resolution issues.

irregardless, nattysci.com just had it's two year anniversary....

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:32 AM

lets drink

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:33 AM

i've had worse reasons to get drunk at 9:30am.

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 9:44 AM

No good, I don't think a cheetah can be domesticated for travel.

Site problems, huh Phil?
Did you check the DNS configuration proxy? Because if the bit chip resolution speed is below 6700 megagigs, well then you got problems. Of course, it could be the domain address notifier. If the domain address notifier is not interacting with the port script configurer.....oh shit, look out. Last but not least, check the HTML database, their might be something wrong with the FTP debugging URL.
Just my suggestions,

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:04 AM

Yesterday, when I was moving stuff into my apartment, do you know what the first thing was? Shot glasses.

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:08 AM

douglas must not be able to reach the site, because I'd assume he'd be all over the stephanie tanner one.

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:11 AM

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/presaddress2.shtml

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:14 AM

i feel dirty posting a link to ebaumsworld

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:30 AM

personally Phil, I like this one better:

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2691992

That ones a little old

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:31 AM

nope nattysci.com worked for me, just got on, and did just see the stephanie tanner thing. needless to say, i'm ecstatic. i don't know who that fag is that's divorcing her, but this is prime opportunity to take advantage of a hot chick while she's most vulnerable. all i got to say is don't let me move to L.A., it'd be over.

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:40 AM

well, just remember if it goes down: greenknuckles.com will work even if nattysci.com dumps you on a godaddy.com page

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:41 AM

yeah, stephanie tanner's single, that's fucking awesome! i might have to go wack it in the bathroom to calm myself down

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:41 AM

For all the horniness of Stephanie Tanner, be warned, Meth makes your teeth rot out of your head.

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:49 AM

I have it, I finally found it! The clencher, the winner, the ultimate proof:

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060202/...HNlYwNnYWxsZXJ5

You see, I told you Bush was evil, just look at the picture!

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:52 AM

Wait... if her teeth rot out, is that a bad thing. I'm not exactly worried about her gumming my johnson to death.

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 10:55 AM

you said it before i could, brock. and a girl that hot, i'd pay for dentures, whatever, i don't care. i will agree with the earlier statement about how it was odd the olsens were in that intervention. also bob saget, who's admitted he was all wacked out the first couple seasons of full house. plus, how did her cop husband not know she had a problem, but the full house people did??

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:04 AM

I was just informing, that's all.
If you're cool with Stephanie Tanner sliding down the pole of pleasure without handrails, well, best of luck to ya'.

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:06 AM

It isn't any worse then the hanbjob from the chick with no arms.

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:14 AM

This guy at work just referred to taking a shit as cloning yourself. That is awesome.

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:21 AM

My boss just asked me if he could borrow some running tank buffer. Not as sophmoric as Joe's associate, but I figured since he writes about random events at work, I should too.

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:21 AM

xbox360s in stock at the outer loop best buy...

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:22 AM

Excellent

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:24 AM

i use the giving birth analogy, especially to the babymama, who doesn't appreciate that comparison. also dropping the cosby kids off at the pool

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:39 AM

can't go wrong with a "taking the browns to the super bowl"

Jerome on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:39 AM

Douglas ... what the fuck, man? Cosby Kids at the pool? That's just ... so ... I mean how could you even ...

Actually, I think I love that.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:47 AM

That's just wrong.

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 11:50 AM

it's wrong, but you're laughing

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:03 PM

Doulas, if you find jodie sweetin, see if you can hook me up with her full house pal Marla Sokoloff. that would be neat.

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:09 PM

which one is she?

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:17 PM

At what point do you think he said "Oh shit!"

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/11142390/?GT1=7756

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:23 PM

Happy birthday today to Brent "Data" Spiner and hot booty shakin' Shakira.
Douglas-she was the "bad girl" on full house that came to befriend stephanie tanner in the later seasons. She was also jennifer garner's 'twin' in "Dude, Where's My Car," and played the secretary Lucy on "The Practice" tv show.

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:34 PM

yeah, she's cute, i got you on that. when i'm pumping jodie sweetin full of cock, i'll put in a good word

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:41 PM

Make sure it's in her mouth so she can't say no.

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:55 PM

that's a good time to ask, plus even if she gets mad, she can't bite my dick b/c her teeth are rotten

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:58 PM

just got the godaddy page from work...it's doing down like stephanie tanner trying to score some meth.

trailer for Goal!, a sports movie that doesn't look half bad: http://bvim-qt.vitalstream.com/Goal...1_2541_3000.mov

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 12:59 PM

in response to bigworm, probably around the third floor

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:02 PM

well, he landed on the 6th floor, so i'll assume the 9th floor was about the point where he said "oh shit!"

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:21 PM

didn't read it, just the title. thought he hit the ground. I agree with Phil now. How do you post a picture on here?

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:21 PM

I think Barry was referring to where he hit the 3rd floor and bounced back up to the 6th.

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:22 PM

You can't, only the "holy powers" get to post anything besides hyperlinks.

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:27 PM

did anyone see that "You Can't Blame" show on the deuce last night. Last night it was about Scott Norwood. On the bright side, he's a real estate agent in Virginia now

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:46 PM

David Brent: This is Sanj, this guy does the best Ali G impersonation, Aiiieee. I can't do it, go on, do it
Sanj: I don't, must be someone else
David Brent: Oh, sorry, it's the other one...
Sanj: The other what... Paki?
David Brent: Ah, that's racist.

Green Baron on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 1:48 PM

Jodie sweetin and prom date:
http://www.sweetin.com/images/jodieprom1.jpg

I haven't seen most of you guys, but if you're as ugly as Brock, you probably have a chance from looking at her prom date.
And look, she still has her teeth.

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 3:52 PM

Lake Charles, LA has a hotel and casino thathas hot waitresses and they have decided to produce a calendar. The only reason I bring it up, I know the brunette on the cover.
http://www.ldlcasino.com/employment..._2006_calendar/

Jay on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 3:56 PM

Well done, Barry.

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 3:56 PM

this is starting to remind me of the hot chicks folder

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 3:56 PM

i don't "know" her in the biblical sense, though. Unfortunately. Damn girls and their damn wanting guys taller than they are.

joe on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 4:09 PM

Jay, i think she wants to be introduced to the ocho

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 4:10 PM

You'll know when it becomes the hot chicks folder when Wes starts posting pictures of Jenna Jameson and Sylvia St. James.

Barry on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 4:14 PM

Jenna was on Howard Stern yesterday and said Jenny McCarthy ate her out in a casino bathroom

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 4:26 PM

more on jenna and jenny with some nice little pics:
http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=567

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 4:31 PM

Thank you Barry. I am now a proud owner of another wonderful spank bank vision.

Brock on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 5:21 PM

Hey Phil, you can personally give advice to J.P. Losman
http://www.myspace.com/billsqb

Bigworm on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 5:21 PM

Take that Wilt Chamberlain...you were outscored by a girl!

http://msn.foxsports.com/wcbk/story/5300388

Brent on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 5:22 PM

Arnold looking gubernatorial:

http://www.youtube.com/w/weirdest%2...oVNqhg&eurl

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 5:46 PM

here's what steve young had to say to carson palmer:
I wouldn't mind you sitting with me during Countdown. As long as you don't mind sitting between me and Michael Irvin. I don't like the way he touches me all the time.

good stuff

douglas on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 6:57 PM

it amazes me how dumb people are:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060201...MDRpBHNlYwM3NTc-

Phil on Thursday, February 02, 2006 at 8:16 PM

so, i'm watching the Maryland v UNC game, and I got a question...

why do you say "snowbird" when someone doesn't get back on defense and ends up getting an easy layup/dunk because of it? is there something about the snowbird that stands out in this regard? is there a snowbird?

the google does nothing.

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:10 AM

is anyone still able to reach the website via nattysci.com?

i should have it resolved shortly I hope, but it is surprisingly difficult to scan a drivers license...

Brock on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:16 AM

Nattysci.com is still down as of 3:15AM

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 7:49 AM

I bet she would love the ocho. Viva la Natty Sci!

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 9:15 AM

this guy knows what I'm talking about.

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 9:32 AM

I can access nattysci.com at work, however, at home I had to resort to greenknuckles.com

Wing Commander on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 9:57 AM

That hot piece of 40=something ass Heather Locklear is back on the market. After I get done with setting up Nikki Ziering as my "kept woman" I am going to head over to Heather's place from some of that "I am an older woman and know what I want" kinda sex. Must not forget Step 1, hold the world for ransom by disrupting french fry and ranch dressing production world wide through the use of my mobile sub-sonic weapon, The Thunda-bird. Bitches can't resist the money, or french fries and ranch.

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 9:57 AM

Jay you ready to move? Is everything going to be packed up when we get there so all we have to do is pick it up and carry it?

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:05 AM

roadtrip?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playo...mp;lid=tab1pos3

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:08 AM

Jay - what time are we meeting at your Mom's house? We have to get that show on the road because my beloved CATS have a date with the gators at 9pm.

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:23 AM

I was hoping to start at noon, although I am picking up the truck at 8, and although I will have a couple of stops to make, people can probably show up as early as 10. Just give me a call to make sure. Joe, do you know how to get to my mom's? If not, I'll give you directions tonight. And my room won't be completely ready, but everything I am taking will be.

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:25 AM

Religion of peace strikes again.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europ...reut/index.html

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:27 AM

CHAIN GUN CANNONS!

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/02/la...e.ap/index.html

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:31 AM

I'll call you for directions later. I have a little painting in the bathroom to do so I am not sure when I will be there.

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:33 AM

That's cool although it really shouldn't take to long to pack the truck.

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 10:42 AM

Life is good when you are a billionaire.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060202...opkins_donation

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:11 AM

1.21 Gigawatts of Love: http://www.youtube.com/w/Brokeback%...IYwpQ&eurl=

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:20 AM

shit, it's a matter of time before our security guy eric wants some of those for our data center.

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:22 AM

by some of those, i was of course referring to the gatling guns, not billionares or gay time travelers.

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:34 AM

Next time you go to Vegas...stay at Hooters.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,183697,00.html

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:44 AM

One more invite before I start saying you are all a bunch of brokeback mountain watching fairies. Saturday Feb. 25 LSU plays UK here. That same weekend is the biggest weekend of Mardi Gras (yes we are having Mardi Gras). Does anybody want to come down here and go to New Orleans for the biggest spectacle of drunken debauchery in the United States? You can be as drunk and stupid as you want...in fact it is expected of you.

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 11:50 AM

Barry - believe me I'd love to attend that game, however, I can't make it.

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 12:05 PM

what the hell, Mandy Moore is marrying Zack Braff from Scrubs. She can do way better then that.

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 12:14 PM

is this an SI cover Jinx?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/mu...11.exclude.html

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 12:16 PM

that was supposed to be picture #12

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/mu...12.exclude.html

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 12:36 PM

Phil, do you think you are going to make it tommorrow?

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 12:54 PM

How sorry is it that this bill had to get passed. People like this Phelps jackass are gonna be real surprised when God tells them they were wrong. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...EMPLATE=DEFAULT

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:06 PM

Soldiers dying=gays? I don't follow the math.

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:11 PM

exactly

Green Baron on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:17 PM

Jeez, do I have to spell it out for you:
Soldiers + Gays =
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,183060,00.html

douglas on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:44 PM

that hooters in vegas was under construction when i was there in august. it won't be the best hotel/casino there, but all the staff will be wearing the trademark orange short and tank tops. it'll probably be a cheap alternative to some of its competition

douglas on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:44 PM

phil, i had to go to greenknuckles to get on today, just tah let u know

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:52 PM

What was the story behind green knuckles again?

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 1:56 PM

Wade and Phil had a pair of green gloves with huge hands with clinched fists..that we you hit them together they made like a crushing sound. I think it was to promote the Hulk.

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:02 PM

and then you take a girl back to the office, get her naked in the conference room and then tell her "I'll be back in a second." And then you come back wearing nothing but the knuckles.

long story short, you donkey punch her and it makes the hulk smash noise when you hit her in the head.

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:06 PM

I was going to ask douglas if he had any tips on how I can try to get a girl tonight, but I like Phil's idea

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:09 PM

if that doesn't work you can write her a haiku

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:09 PM

the idea of going out with two people wearing the hulk knuckles all night long has been thrown around, so anytime a hot chick walks by you can do the subtle knuckle me, but instead with a pair of giant green knuckles that make a loud crash noise.

douglas on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:13 PM

i couldn't give you any better idea than the green knuckles, that's gotta get bitches wet

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:16 PM

Bought her a drink then
Gave her donkey punch with green
Gloves that say "Hulk Smash"

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:23 PM

Strutting around butt
naked driving all the girls
crazy wanting sex.

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:34 PM

Just found out something for all of you Cardinal fans out there. There is a lady who works with me who is Phil Bond's sister.

Incase you Cardinal fans don't know your school history - he is #2 for all-time assists at UofL and was an All-American in 1975-76.

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:41 PM

So this is where the sensai of the cobra kai has been for the last 15 years.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/03/b...s.ap/index.html

Yes, the article actually says "no mercy will be tolerated" FAN-tastic.

douglas on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 2:54 PM

for all you colts fan, uh-oh.....
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5304652

douglas on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:00 PM

pics of jenna jameson on the sex machine at howard stern:
http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=580

joe on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:02 PM

intersting thing about that is that my dad was the one who infomed me of it. They listen to Stern at work and my dad comes home and starts asking me about it. Interesting conversation, to say the least.

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:09 PM

and it was fun to listen to as well. That was the same converstaion (i think) as the jenny mccarthy stuff. Last night Bubba the Love Sponge was trying to coax a lesbian who, apparently was very tight, into forcing a large dildo into herself. One time he also duct taped a dog shock collar on a girl's genitals. Sirius is entertaining radio

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:15 PM

Not to scare you Jerome, but just wanted to let you know.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/wcStor...ntentId=5299596

Barry on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:24 PM

...and Katrina just keeps on fucking me in the ass. Although it could just be the admin trying to score some extra cash...corrupt ass Louisiana
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/20...s.ap/index.html

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:35 PM

That's what you get for acting like a diva when you aren't one.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.co...ez-is-done.html

Bigworm on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:38 PM

Who needs a defibrillator when you have redbull!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Revitalize-your...1QQcmdZViewItem

Jay on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 3:57 PM

Just so you know, if I don't hear from you guys by 12:00 noon tommorrow, I will give you all a call.

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 4:24 PM

holla at me, big jay. i'll be all up in that humpty bumpty.

Phil on Friday, February 03, 2006 at 5:30 PM

nattysci.com should be back up and running. sorry about that.

we should be good until 2008.

Green Baron on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 9:46 AM

So....
Did my taxes, and figured out I am going to get back 20% more than I gave to the federal government. That's right, I made money from doing my taxes. Oh, the math's right. You'll notice a little box called earned income credit, alternative child tax credit, and the child tax credit; all which get figured in after you figure your refund/tax.
I'll be the first one to tell you that I think this is wrong. I have 1 child, and my wife and I aren't in the poor house. If I had another child, I could go up to 40% more than what we paid in return. I'm sorry, I just don't think that anybody should earn money when doing their taxes. If the government wants to give handouts and shit, that's one thing.
Will I be giving the money I made back? Doubt it. But I would love it if everybody did. Might help on a little thing we call the deficit.
Just my 2 cents.

douglas on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 11:15 AM

more jenna jameson:
http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=582

douglas on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 11:52 AM

work sucks on saturday

Marc on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 2:25 PM

Okay, so I didn't make the Franfort trip. I over slept... again. Which I realize will leave me with a never ending joke about "never helping anyone move." That would be bullshit, because I've helped plenty of people move, but seriously dropped the ball two recent times. I called Jay at 9:50AM thinking we were getting together at 10AM. He told me were weren't getting together until noon. So I went back to sleep and left the phone nearby just in case. What I forgot was my phone was still on silent from the school day, the day before. so it didn't make noise for me to hear. Jay, however, is one of the few people to have my home number. The standing rule for band practice was, if you can get me on my cell, call my home number. Oh well, split milk now. even though i'll be hearing about the lame ass split milk joke forever. woohoo.

Brock on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 2:52 PM

Don't you mean "lame ass spilt Big Red joke?"

Phil on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 6:36 PM

Marc...we won't give you too much grief :)

Wing Commander on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 8:09 PM

Granpa Munster - Dead at 83 (and also evidently appeared in the "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou":

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/...t.ap/index.html

Brock on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 8:19 PM

Is World War III seriously going to start because of some cartoons?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060205...rophet_drawings

Small commentary: If your religion claims to be incredibly peaceful, then maybe fire-bombing embassies because of an offensive cartoon is not the best way to demonstrate displeasure. I think this is just an excuse for those bastards to take cheap shots at Westerners. Does this require an apology from the countries, the useless "we deplore these events" speach, or the Tomahawk missle response? By the way, what the hell did Chile do? Why are you attacking them? Dipshits.

Jerome on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 9:56 PM

Did anyone else see Erin Andrews when she was in her old cheerleading uniform? HAWT!!

Jerome on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 10:10 PM

Taking a Tylenol PM and hittin' the sheets ... big day for me tomorrow ... thanks for the advice, Philco.

Bigworm on Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 11:13 PM

Wow, I can't believe the Syrians tourched an embassy! That is fucking nuts!

If it was my embassy - I'd stick a warhead right up their fucking ass.....and ask them "How do you like them apples?"

Jay on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 4:39 AM

Marc, it's all good buddy. And you don't need to be so defensive. Phil, I tried nattysci.com from my dad's apt, but I got the godaddy webpage.

Bigworm on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 10:16 AM

So UK looked really good in the 1st half of the UK-Florida game. Moving the ball really well, making the open pass, etc, etc..I think they had something like 12 assists at the half. Then half number 2 begins..UK extends it lead to 6 or so and suddenly they stop defending....Florida goes on a 13-0 run....and that was that....UK stopped defending...UK stopped making the extra pass (which really pissed me off). UK ended up with 15 assists on the game.....NIT bound baby!

Wing Commander on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 12:59 PM

Stopped defending and starter walking up and down the court is more like it. Florida, sliced and diced them in I hate to even say it "the transition game." Need to dump the team psychologist and get a motivational speaker. Maybe Tony Little has some free time to help them out. Gonna ba a lot of trailer fires this week as people continue burning their UK posters, 3-point signs, and stuffed wildcats.

Wing Commander on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 1:23 PM

Jay there is hope for you yet with the ladies. Daivd Hasselhoff does crap like this and still pulls major wool:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE

So if we can work on your intro lines we should be set (and not the time-tested duds from the Burket's like, "what's up bitches! and why are you all talking about all of this nerdy shit, you ladies need to start makin' out.") Your musical talent is far superior. Marc, you could could take some tips from David on moving while you are singing.

Brent on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 1:58 PM

MySpace the Movie

http://www.youtube.com/w/Myspace%20...6%2DA0B1%2D7A7F

Phil on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 3:52 PM

computer in a whiskey bottle: http://www.metku.net/index.html?sec...skypc/index_eng

Marc on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 5:24 PM

Okay, that David Hasslehoff video is spectacular. We need to do that with Douglas, to make him and internet celebrity.

Phil on Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 6:13 PM

so let me get this straight...the seahawks run in to Bittwesweet Symphony (strange choice, btw), a song that the Verve never was able to make any money off of due to license issues with...the band featured duing the Super Bowl Halftime show The Rolling Stones.

That's a pretty decent fuck you to The Verve.

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 7:52 AM

I have to be at work at 7:45, and I left my apartment at 7:40. By the time I got here, the clock said 7:44. That is FAN-tastic.

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 7:58 AM

traffic sucked today

adrian on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 8:02 AM

If you had a delorean, time wouldn't really matter!

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 8:42 AM

Who Ride?
WE RIDE!
Who Ride?
WE RIDE!
Who Ride?
WE RIDE!
LET'S RIDE!

adrian on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 9:17 AM

How do you drop the ball twenty fucking times, get fifty penalties, catch twenty passes out of bounds in the super bowl? Anyways i am sure glad that fat bastard "The Bus" got his super bowl.

"They shot me in Denva" -- Joey Porter

Denva = Denver

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 9:33 AM

I love that fat tub-a-lard!

Interesting fact: the last person to receive the keys to the city of Detroit before Jerome Bettis -- Saddam Hussein.

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:01 AM

I could get a cammo hat and crossbow for $10! Then I can shoot stuff back in time with my Delorian!

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:08 AM

I want a gumball machine for my kitchen.

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:10 AM

It was only four hundred dollars. And apparently, Dr. Evil's cat doesn't like to find plastic bottles.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/06/me...e.ap/index.html

douglas on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:14 AM

congratulations to the bus for having all the officials make the wrong calls against the seahawks, thereby giving the game to the steelers. if it wasn't completely obvious the refs were throwing that game, i don't know what would've been.

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:16 AM

Come on, douglas, can you blame the refs for being distracted by the cheerleaders instead of watching the steelers. I mean, they shot him in denver.

douglas on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:18 AM

u mean "denva"?

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:18 AM

phil can you find the audio of they shot me in Denva?

Phil on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:19 AM

"They Shot Me in Denver! MAAA MAA MAAAAAAAAH!" video:
http://www.czabe.com/mediaclips/ind...clip&id=441

adrian on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 10:34 AM

If you listen closely before Peezy shouts out "they shot me in denva" you hear Cowher saying "Will you keep it quiet ths week Peezy, please"

Fucking Great!

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 11:00 AM

Actually, after the Bengal game also ... Cowher says, "Hey, Peezy. How 'bouts shettin' yer mahth ("Pittsburghese" for shutting your mouth) this week?"

Phil on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 11:55 AM

sports guy's super bowl diary: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...=simmons/060206

some great one-liners in there.

6:54 -- All right, who was more available this week: Dr. John for the national anthem or Jay Mohr for Diet Pepsi? Is he supposed to be playing Jay Mohr in the commercial? Is he playing Bob Sugar from "Jerry Maguire"? Is he playing another character? Will this be explained later in the game? I'm confused.

Bigworm on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:11 PM

Magic Fridge...Magic Fridge!!!!

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:14 PM

I never would have guessed that was Danny Haren. A couple of us debated this morning who that A's pitcher was in the commercial.

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:15 PM

my phone has theft protection. Go ahead, try to steal it.

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:18 PM

my phone has scratches, scuffs and a little bit of unidentified DNA on it

Barry on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:36 PM

Classic line. "That's right, Michelle Tafoya just became the first woman in the history of mankind to successfully keep a secret. I'm just glad we were here to see it." And did anyone else lose it with the commercial where the guy speared the girl in the flag football game?

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:40 PM

"You were open, and now you are closed!"

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:44 PM

John Holmes won the Phoenix Open! With any luck we'll be hearing stories of how long he is in the years to come.

C'mon, guys. There has to be more "big club" jokes in there somehow.

Brock on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:46 PM

Sports Guy moved up a peg in my book:

6:40 -- Back from break after a Steelers three-and-out, Al Michaels says, "John, only 108 balls were used tonight." That was fun. Meanwhile, with Seattle's offense looking frisky again, Pittsburgh thinks about resorting to Plan B: Kimo von Oelhoffen taking out Hasselbeck's knees. Don't think America forgot that play, Steelers fans. That was your version of the Tuck Rule. Deny it all you want.

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 12:49 PM

Happy birthday to Axl Rose and Rick "the guy with the hair" Astley.

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:03 PM

Rick Astley is a champion of the pompadour. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those lucky Asians that can pull it off. Otherwise, I'd be owning stock in hairspray companies.

I LOVE the tuck rule! In the immortal words of footsteps Falco, "Yeah, I can live with that."

Jerome on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:05 PM

Jay ... FYI ... One of the best Mexican restaurants I've ever been to is up there in Frankfort. If it's still there, check it out for lunch -- if you're a fan of Mexican food, that is.

Brock on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:07 PM

Isn't Rick Astley the "guy who wears a shirt?"

Brock on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:11 PM

I'm taking Chris to the UofL-UC game tonight. Is that a bad idea?

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:26 PM

The voice of peggy hill, kathy najimy also has a b-day today.

adrian on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:43 PM

Jay, i think jerome is talking about the mexican restraunt next to the place with the crossbow.

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:44 PM

We should've gotten the crossbow

Phil on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:48 PM

jerome might also be talking about the mexican mcdonald's up there.

and any day that involves cross bows, all you can eat pizza and a delorian is a good day in my book.

Bigworm on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:51 PM

It was only a matter of time, and of course, they are playing on fears.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,183872,00.html

Bigworm on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:52 PM

Let's be honest a camo hat and a crossbow for less than 10 bucks is a steal. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 1:56 PM

its all fun and games until someone loses an eye

Jay on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 2:09 PM

"Big jay, did you pay for this?" "Yes...RUN!" Brock, you and Marc were the ones, when rick astley was playing over the speakers at hops, who referred to him as "the guy with the hair".

Bigworm on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 2:09 PM

The official Natty Sci t-shirt.

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/produc...uctId=0162_2127

Bigworm on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 2:11 PM

Is that a keg in your pants cause i wanna....

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/produc...uctId=0162_2133

douglas on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 2:42 PM

say goodbye to the beard:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playo...mp;lid=tab1pos3

douglas on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 4:22 PM

chuck norris is my hero:
http://www.bustedtees.com/in/fb/hero

joe on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 4:24 PM

Somebody has to enter this!!

http://www.themaxfm.com/home.asp

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 7:42 AM

So UL sucks.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 7:54 AM

What the fuck are they thinking?

http://entertainment.msn.com/music/...93&GT1=7756

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:14 AM

Easier to lure little boys!

I'll take a window seat please.

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:27 AM

Basic Instinct II trailer - http://www.doubleagent.com/video.php?v=836

Oh, and this is FAR from safe for work unless your work encourages you to watch hot 47-year-old titties.

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:40 AM

Hey if you ever wanted what the world might be like if Germany won WWII....V For Vendetta is suppose to be set in that era.

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:58 AM

It also has natalie portman with a shaved head. Giggity giggity giggity!

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:59 AM

Jack Bauer's Friendster Profile: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/2/7ruenprapan.html

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:00 AM

While on the subject of natalie portman:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si...mpus/index.html

Jerome on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:03 AM

V for Vendetta Comic Book was actually set in a post-war 1990s with more subtle Nazi-ish democracy. It gives a different look on terrorism and general views of what is wrong and what is more wrong. Add into it the advocacy of true anarchy (as opposed to chaotic anarchy) and you get a story that REALLY fucks with the brain.

Jerome on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:04 AM

Vertigo Comics release of V for Vendetta:
http://www.dccomics.com/graphic_novels/?gn=1731

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:07 AM

Ha, natty sci post just got goodwined.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:09 AM

i really need to fix the url making thingy. although i thought apostrophies weren't allowed in URLs.

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:19 AM

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=c...deo_viralvideos

go to "HOME" and LOTR recap.

The Balrog is awesome!

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:23 AM

Thanks for the backstory Jerome.

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:24 AM

Joe - did you crash that party over the weekend?

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:33 AM

That party was a sad and pathetic fun. Some of us work people had to create our own fun. Terry from work was starting fights because he insisted we were racist and were hating on him for being black. This led to staged fist fights. Created quite a scene, freaked out some strangers. All the non work people were still in college and I am convinced they all were midgets. there wasn't a chick there over 5 foot. some of them had braces. They all claimed to be 22 or 23. I didn't want to take the chance, I'm still convinced they were 12. You gotta draw the line somewhere. 4'11 with braces is a risk I'm not willing to take.

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 10:36 AM

the 4'11" angle is awesome, short girls are great in bed, the braces though ain't no joke, not something you want a part of. braces can turn the mood sour very quickly

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:28 AM

I just saw a priceless moment walking to CVS on 4th street. this woman walked up to a double door and tried to push it open. Ran smack into the door. She continued to push with out getting it open. We walked up to the other door and pulled it open and walked right through while she continued struggling to push the door open. Seriously how retarded are some people? This was a chick in a business suit.

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:33 AM

i once was in a store when someone manged to complete the push on one door, then try to pull the other door move (getting both doors backwards), then looked into the store at me, pulled one more time and then left.

it was like i was in a farside comic.

Barry on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:34 AM

i too like women in the 4'11' range...for obvious reasons

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:44 AM

i like the spinners

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:44 AM

I only meant that short was bad when it aided in them looking illegal. Unless your into that kinda thing. The only reason to wait a month for sex is when their 17 yrs and 11 months old.

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:45 AM

so no one's making any references to battleship yet?

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 11:54 AM

I can't say I've ever asked a chick to play battleship

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:00 PM

I have conflicted feelings on that episode. First of all, way too gay. But, the gayness was openly mocked. Plus it addressed something that I feel very strongly about.

Taking a piss in the presence of one's significant other. That's just fucking nasty. It's like going to a hotdog factory before a baseball game. It just ruins the whole experience once you KNOW what REALLY goes on down there.

Also, when Barney found out Robin likes ted, and she asks him if he's going to tell, why would you ever not use "Bros over hoes!" at that point. I was dumbfounded.

I am also pretty sure that this cupcake girl is a mentally retarded female (aka Mr. F). At some point Ted is going to have to say "how about you stop with your shitty ideas and you let me stick it in your pooper?"

This show better ungay itself quickly.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:01 PM

To all the duke haters

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page...ge=jones/060207

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:04 PM

so how do you feel about a chick being a bro? The Robin surpassing Ted.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:08 PM

the chick wingman was smooth to get the in on the ladies.

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:13 PM

no problem on the chick being a bro, although the cigar smoking + suit made my penis retract and try to shoot out my butt.

i'm just glad they didn't pull a full out friends with
robin + barney
ted + Mr. F.
Marshall + Lily

That would be a death kneel. You might as well have a fake wedding where Ted says "I do, Robin" and then Ted ends up married but his wife (Mr. F) won't talk to him. And then he could knock up Robin, but then Barney accidently proposes to her and robin doesn't know who she's really in love with. I then I'd burn down CBS.

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:15 PM

she sunk his battleship

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:17 PM

You know way too much about the plot of friends.

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:17 PM

let me guess, not a huge fan of friends...

and i really don't get the pee thing. if someone's together with someone else for nine years, it's inevitable you're going to see them pee, you'll probably have seen them shit too, and that's probably within the first couple months of being together. there's no way anybody is with someone for 9 years and hasn't seen 'em piss.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:20 PM

does the pissing or shitting count if part of a cleveland steamer or other such activities?

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:25 PM

i was referring to casual excrement, not sexual excrement. now in r.kelly's case, you're gonna' see his piss on the first date...

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:26 PM

damn you beat me to the r kelly joke.

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:27 PM

out of my three relationships of 2+ years, each girl still ran the faucet while taking a dump if they thought i was near-by to the bitter end. two girls managed to go 4+ months without even shitting in the same building as me. and that's the way it should be. forever.

of course, the human body freaks me out to the point that i'm convinced that if someone got their finger nail caught on my bellbutton they could rip it open and my insides would gush out like soggy jello. i like living in my dream world that a girls junk is in a constant state of cleanliness.

and as to friends, i did watch every episode of friends, season 1 through 7 as atonement for sins relating to Louisville sports. it happens. And I content Friends season one is excellent television, until they gayed it up with everyone pairing up. This would be the time friends went from "good tv show about 20 something people" to "chick show."

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:31 PM

i'm the exact opposite, i'll shit in the bathroom, and then not flush so my 'significant other' has the chance to walk in on it later. i'm a true romantic

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:46 PM

Damnit douglas, I'm trying to eat.

Brock on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 12:48 PM

Douglas, have you had a woman wipe your ass too? That's when you know you've got a keeper.

Jerome on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 1:42 PM

Sometimes I wish I was a quadraplegic so a chick could wipe my ass ... yeah, you heard me.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 1:48 PM

anyone know the going rate for a hooker to wipe your ass? We can start the Natty Sci make a wish foundation.

Jerome on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 1:52 PM

What a GREAT DAY!! It's the return of the ECLIPSE GUM samples at BW-3!!

Unfortunately, it's like chewing a wet nap ... but on the bright side it's like chewing a wet nap ...

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 1:56 PM

so, upon doing a google search for "hooker wipe ass price" I cam upon the lyrics to Esham, with some of these brilliant insights:

I don't wear Nike Air force ones no more, baby, I'm sorry
My sneakers cost nine hundred dollars and they made by Maury
My shit's ridiculous, got gold in my toilet stool
And bitches wanna swear theres diamonds in my swimmin pool,
"He's so cool!"
When the girls see me, they all drool,
Because they know that I'm the one thats breaking all the rules
My mink coat's so long, you can mistake it for carpet
You got purple kush up in that blunt, homie? Just spark it
If twenty-six's aint on your truck, you should just park it
Because you're out there like that department store, Target
I bought the Beatles catelogue back from Michael Jackson
Then called his ass a child-molester right before I slapped him
Then sold the shit to Paul Micartney, then I double-taxed him
The chrome Desert Eagle convinced him - and relaxed him
Christina Aguilera came over, did me dirty
I told Beyonce stop trying to give me Jay z's birdy
I know you purdy, but go get me a ice-cold Pepsi
Then get your ass in this hot tub with me and Lisa Marie Presley


I walk on rose petals, my feet never touch the ground
Got two bitches - one to wipe me up, one to wipe me down
I sleep with three women all night, it's like a hardcore porn
They got me shakin in my bed like Ozzy Osbourne
I got the power
I'm pissing golden showers
The hoe that wipe my ass say it smells like flowers
Is that neccessary? Me and Halle Barry in a bubble bath
Just got back from Germany, I'm jet lag

I got four hundred acres in the city on the East side
Police, they work for me, deliver donuts and pizza
I pay Mariah Carry to come and sit on my toilet and sing to me
When I'm in the tub, and dry my booty when I'm done
I got three helicopters and I rent them out for videos
So rappers can front and try to boss up like me, I suppose
I got a pit with platinum slugs and a doghouse, with an escalator in it
You's a hater, admit it
I did it, i made it
You hate it, can't fade it
Murdered a bitch with my bare hands and only got a fine and paid it
Bought the jury each a bently, after the trial I took it back
Here I come! Look at that! Where my fucking hookers at?
Had a private jet, but I sold it to the Soviets
As boss as it gets, for real and flossing all hits
I'm underground, undetected, much respected
Never rejected, my downfall - dont expect it.




yeah, i haven't head of this guy either, but apparently he's doing really well for himself. this isn't as funny as I just looked him up and apparently he probably does have a shit load of money having producted ICP, Bone Thugs, Kool Keith and Ghetto E." And

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 1:57 PM

Is it wrong to use the obituaries as a means for a burn?

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:25 PM

Absolutley not, joe. Speaking of burns, my dad had a good one on me yesterday. I was telling him about a guy at work who likes to talk to me about sports. I told him "I don't know why he likes to talk to me about sports..." and before I could finish, my dad fired back with "Well, you LOOK like you have balls." I thought it was a pretty wicked burn.

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:26 PM

i have not had a woman wipe my ass, but i am formally making that a mission of mine now.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:38 PM

This chick at work always complains about how she is going to be single forever and can't find a man. I was reading the paper and in the obituaries there was this chick who had her picture with her cat and was listed as survived by her cat stevie. I managed to point out hey look it is you in 20 years.

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:38 PM

That is neat.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:41 PM

Douglas, all I can say is good luck

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:47 PM

to a single woman, that's a very wicked burn. and thank you very much, i assure everyone once i have a woman wipe my ass you and nattysci readers everywhere will know first.

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 2:53 PM

I really hope there are random people reading this today

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:22 PM

it's a dream of mine for some random dude at a bar overhear us talking about the website, come up to me, and say "you're douglas? wow, has a woman wiped your ass yet? good luck with that."

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:23 PM

that would be fantastic

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:30 PM

LEGEN....WAIT FOR IT.....DARY!

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:32 PM

Reality:
some random chick at a bar overhears us talking about the website, comes up to me, and says "you're joe? wow!" (starts crying because she is laughing so hard and runs away)

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:49 PM

unless it's lisa, in which case she doesn't say anything and just runs away crying hysterically while we give her an encore slow clap

joe on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:52 PM

This website is way to incriminating if anyone besides us actually reads it

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:53 PM

i just hope no cops stumble upon here

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:56 PM

As long as there are no last names, I think we'll be all right. (Or in douglas' case, first name). I don't think there is anything to worry about though, because the site has been up for two years, and the popo haven't come down on us yet.

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:56 PM

Yet.

Phil on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 3:57 PM

if the police come, i will cooperate to the full extent of the law.

Jay on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:02 PM

They'll get our fingerprints off of the keyboards!

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:03 PM

What's next making soldiers pay for ammunition they shoot?

http://www.wvgazette.com/section/News/2006020623

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:08 PM

So is this the best way to resort to this.

Apparently the Prophet Mohammed doesn't teach turn the other cheek!

http://english.pravda.ru/world/asia...535-holocaust-0

Barry on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:37 PM

yeah, some people you can't reason with. Sure Christians get upset if someone takes a shot at Jesus, but people are getting killed here. Damn Jawas

Barry on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:43 PM

(Flash to Peter Griffin in African History course)
Well, guess I better be hittin the old dusty trail...found the fire exit

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 4:44 PM

big ben didn't get in:
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5313884

Barry on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 6:11 PM

just got an e-mail inviting me to a wine/cheese and bonfire party. anyone with an instrument is asked to bring it. Big Jay, you down? It sounds like its going to literally be a bunch of fucking hippies sitting around a campfire playing music...do I go?

douglas on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 7:12 PM

no, hippies are the devil

Green Baron on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:27 PM

I'm sorry, I must have missed something:
http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060207/...HNlYwNnYWxsZXJ5

Someone tell me, why are we all laughing now?

Bigworm on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 9:29 PM

I guess it's a good thing the Steelers won by more than 7!

Anyway, I have realized why UK sucks so much this year...we play like fucking morons! Instead of making the steady play we have been trying to break the game open or take control. I don't have a problem with anyone shooting a 3 pointer, however, with time running down and when you are losing it shouldn't be RONDO! Just look at the odds - you must play the odds. Ravi Moss should be taking the 3. Plain and simple.

I am going to put my allegience up for sale on Ebay to any team, with the exception of UofL!

Jerome on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 7:04 AM

To all of you that have the NFL Network ... oh my gawd ... Chad Johnson during the NFC's Pro Bowl practice on Tuesday was some of the funniest shit ever.

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 7:53 AM

Barry, I'll just bring my electric guitar and find someway to power an amp outdoors. Then i'll do some serious shredding and scare all the hippies away. Except the chicks. My aversion to armpit hair is trumped by my need for cooch.

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 8:35 AM

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_...r/barneys_blog/

Jerome on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 9:16 AM

Hey, Willie ... I mean, Antwaan ... i mean ... aww fuck

adrian on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 9:34 AM

Ok, I realy hate Duke and every faggot that plays for Duke but I have never seen a better shooter/scorer than J.J. Redick. He is so gay but check out this picture. He is throwing up the Double Shocker after he hit a three during last nights rivalry game vs UNC.

http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaab/photo...&prov=getty

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 9:38 AM

Mad props to Marcus Brodie for helping with one of the greater undermanned trivia showings. I held it together for the first two rounds and bonus questions, and once marc joined we were in for a solid 3rd place finish, losing by three points. Not bad for having the smallest team by two people.

GI Jews and their seven members were relagated to 4th place. A victory would have been would have been had if I had known stupid Dean Martin's name.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 9:58 AM

http://whatisislamlolz.ytmnd.com/

Church on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:09 AM

Phil, I will be there next week for Wick's trivia

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:10 AM

the key to uk's success:
DON'T LET RONDO RUN THE FUCKING OFFENSE!!!
it's pretty simple really, he has the ball at the point, everyone stands around with thumbs up their ass, thinking about which girl they want to wipe it, waiting for rondo to do something. nobody moves, nobody screens, nobody tries to get open, they just let rondo penetrate or throw up a bullshit three he doesn't have a prayer of making

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:11 AM

when rondo doesn't have the ball, people move, things happen, plays are called, and plays are ran, they look like one of them real teams i've heard about uk having before

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:15 AM

Happy B-day Boo Dilicious (21). Enough said.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:20 AM

Church, if you are there we will be in business. I'm telling you, the GI Jews even have a cheer they use when they win.

This is why "Cobra Commander Died for Our Sins" must bring down the iron fist of trivia justice!

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:22 AM

so the dude from the Nascar tie link off of fark, he, uh, remind anyone of someone else?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184148,00.html
(click on the picture on the right for a bigger view)

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:32 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahha

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:33 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 10:47 AM

so is he officially gone now or what? what's the deal, did anyone see/talk to him before he left?

Brock on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:07 AM

Hey Wes, I'll make a deal with you. If you come up and cheer a couple of UC home games, I'll buy you a ticket and beer (enough beer to forget you are at a UC game).

If you want to watch a team play with heart, even if they don't win, you have to watch this team.

adrian on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:14 AM

Go Jihad!

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:22 AM

So maybe stew isn't in the military after all.

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:24 AM

mother fucker!!!! I was just caller 8 for tickets to the girls gone wild bus stop at that club de le fontay? or whatever at theater square. Damnit.

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:31 AM

do some work joe

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:33 AM

hey it was 2 tickets. If I win and you keep running it you you will have to find your own Girls Gone Wild. and I bet you could find a girl to wipe your ass for you there.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:35 AM

I swear to God, if UK get an NIT bid and they accept it I am gonna go postal!

Props to JJ for the double shocker...that's right I gave a Dookie props.

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:37 AM

that point joe.

Who all would be interested in a Fantasy Baseball league? I got an email, it's about that time to set one up.

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:37 AM

You have to admit, Seahawks fans are way better than steelers fans.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...EMPLATE=DEFAULT

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:38 AM

good point, i'm an idiot.

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:39 AM

I'll play.

Brock on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:48 AM

Any money involved?

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:51 AM

Wes, don't worry. UK won't make it into the NIT.

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:53 AM

there can be...

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 11:55 AM

New crew for MNF

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?sl...p&type=lgns

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 12:05 PM

can we make middle relief pitchers worth a rediculous amount of points?

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 12:14 PM

holes are the most valuable stat in fantasy

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 12:53 PM

the smoking gun on DVDs Canada wouldn't let into the country:

I wonder what Dungeon Play #4 has that Dungeon Play #3 doesn't that kept it out of Canada. It probably didn't have french subtitles I bet.

But if "Girl's Locker Room Lust, Come play with us" is banned, I see no reason to visit their country. I say we burn down the Canadian Embassy.

Brock on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 1:03 PM

Someone back me up on this, but is Phil on crack today because most of his posts are gibberish and don't make a lot of sense. Or... maybe I'm on crack and can't read.

Brock on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 1:06 PM

Nevermind, I think I can read now... its the lack of punctuation throwing me off. My instant message reading skills aren't what they usued to be.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 1:07 PM

sooooooo, step one:
Prostitution Investigation Leads To 'Hoosier Hotties' Arrest
http://www.theindychannel.com/news/...304/detail.html

so needless to say, looking up the website is important:
http://hoosierhotties.com/ (not safe for work unless you work at a company were looking up escorts is cool)

they have a link to "Bluegrass Beauties":
http://www.bluegrassbeauties.com/

so this is the best chance for big jay, right? oh no. they have no ladies! wtf? worse escort service EVAR!

but they have a banners link, and one of them cracks me up. apparently there is a company that specializes in web design for escorts.

my favorite part is from the rates section (yes, i have had three mountain dews this morning):

We DO NOT tolerate clients attempting to see the escorts on their own without going through our office. Nor do we tolerate our escorts offering their personal phone numbers or other information to clients in order to see them outside of the company. This is theft and the escort will be terminated from our website service for doing it. And the client will be banned and NOT allowed to see anyone else from our company again. And we ALWAYS find out, either a loyal escort or a loyal client will tell us.

Do you really want someone you barely know calling you 40 times a day and all night long disturbing your private personal time when you're with friends, family, sleeping, or at work?

Is that one escort (who may not even be in this business next month) worth you maybe saving a few bucks (if you even get a discount at all) and worth you losing access to be able to enjoy the pleasurable company of any of our other escorts again? And we do get several new ladies each month, sometimes adult magazine models, porn stars, and escorts from other states. We have no sympathy for and don’t give second chances to any escorts or clients who rip us off. The choice is yours, risk it, get caught, be banned.

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:01 PM

I think I just had deja vu. I swear that I have read the last part of phils rant before.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:06 PM

it's not my rant, it's crazy escort running guy's rant.

this is how I'd handle dead beats: http://www.devilducky.com/media/41474/

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:36 PM

Hey douglas, Shane Gordon is a coach for Bellarmine baseball.

douglas on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:46 PM

u didn't know that? i saw him when i was playing golf last year and talked to him about it, it's the job that kent was supposed to have but they weren't going to pay for his grad school, but they are for shane

joe on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:11 PM

I didn't remember if I knew.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:20 PM

"I didn't remember if I knew" is pretty much my motto on the weekends.

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:28 PM

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer.
Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his
face.
The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose
that is?"

The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:52 PM

Windows Live Mail Beta. If you want to participate sign up.

http://ideas.live.com/programpage.a...6d&GT1=7842

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:54 PM

I wonder why he would give a speech to say we can't do this for?

http://money.cnn.com/2006/02/08/new....reut/index.htm

Jay on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:00 PM

The energy companies are bastards. Damn my need to drive, watch t.v., and not be cold as balls. And jokes about mass slaughter are always funny.

Brent on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:28 PM

SuperMario Bros Audio Snythesizer

http://poststuff2.entensity.net/020...p?flash=smb.swf

Brent on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:33 PM

Level 7 here, the freakin circles are impossible!

http://poststuff2.entensity.net/020...?flash=maze.swf

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:45 PM

This makes no sense.

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/world/religion

Bigworm on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:46 PM

Jesus Christ Brent, let us know if shit is safe for work or not. I just clicked on that link and their is some anime chicks bobbing up and down. Atleast that is what it looked like for the 2 seconds it was open.

Brent on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:55 PM

Sorry, what I posted is safe for work, but the banners on the site might not be.

Phil on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 4:56 PM

i got a pop up ad that was talking to me. quite odd.

Wing Commander on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 5:44 PM

Brent, what sedatives are you on? That maze gets to be a bitch.

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 8:10 AM

Does anyone else hate the Grammy's? U2, Mariah Carey, White Stripes, Gorillaz, Green Day, Kanye West, Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson? That is a crap list of music and they all won. Where is Coldplay? I do give props for Slipknot and SOAD for winning.

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 8:11 AM

I never want to hear or see a Jay-Z - Paul McCartney combo ever again.

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 8:32 AM

However, the music or Mister Rogers won a grammy.

Phil on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 8:39 AM

it's a sunshine day!
http://sunshineday.ytmnd.com/

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 8:45 AM

If anyone in here is interested in skyscrapers/architecture, I saw the new proposed building for the Skyline. It is in todays paper. 703 feet, museums,hotels,offices,condos all built in it. It is a very controversial/modern/radical design but very cool looking. I don't think the design of it fits in with the other buildings but it will still be exciting to see built.

Phil on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:00 AM

here's the article in the CJ about the sky scraper:
http://www.courier-journal.com/apps.../602090386/1008

that's one crazy ass building.

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:13 AM

I believe the Aegon Tower (our tallest building) is aroud 540 feet. If it were me, i would make this new building between 900 - 1000 feet so it would dwarf the Aegon Tower.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:17 AM

The location isn't where I would have placed it either...7th and Main street between River Road?

Damn them..that means I will have to take a new way home from work! Those sneaky motha fubars!

It is quite evident Abramson realizes all big US cities have thriving downtowns! Eventually, so will we.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:19 AM

Wow..I love that building...Not as cool as JJ giving the double version...but if you look at it, it looks like "The Shocker".

LEGEN...wait for it...DARY!

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:22 AM

holy shit it is

Phil on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:40 AM

well, it's missing the pinky. So I say we get some investors together and build Shocker Tower next door to complete the in the stink part of the skyline.

Phil on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:42 AM

hey, i submitted the CJ article to fark and it looks like it will go onto the main page at 11:00am. Hooray for another accepted submission!

Normally NattySci is a dumping ground for fark links, now Natty Sci is originating links that end up on fark. Good times. Full inversion.

Bigworm on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:45 AM

Tuscan Mule Style!

Bigworm on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 9:49 AM

Cool.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184310,00.html

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:00 AM

Cool beans Philco!

Jay on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:09 AM

This first greater should be honorary natty sci. And then we can teach him all about the tuscan mule

http://www.cnn.com/2006/EDUCATION/0...s.ap/index.html

Bigworm on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:10 AM

In case anyone has a CHASE credit card. Don't be stupid.

http://www.thekansascitychannel.com...290/detail.html

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:12 AM

Stacy Keibler is on the cover of the new Stuff magazine. Checkout that ass!

http://gorillamask.net/skstuff.shtml
(may not be safe for work. No nudity)

Phil on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:13 AM

speaking of fark, make sure you check out the first comment on the "When you see a headline like 'Retarded man can't ride moped again,' you have this desire to find out why" headline which goes live on the main page around noon. here's the link (which won't work until then):
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/com...?IDLink=1902825

it is worth the wait.

Jay on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:19 AM

The more I look at that picture, the more I am convinced that the architect is playing a practical joke on Louisville.

douglas on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:24 AM

wes, don't give abramson credit for shit, if he fully realized that bit cities have thriving downtowns, he'd realize that they also have pro sports teams, which we would have right now, if abramson wasn't busy sucking off pitino

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:25 AM

Damn they're on to me at CHASE

douglas on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:28 AM

big

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:30 AM

What do you think I am doing at work besides playing on the SCI?

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:47 AM

Well Abramson might find a new boy toy other than pitino after this fantastic season he is having.

Honestly though, the Mayor is doing a good with downtown prepping it, and trying to draw in big businesses. As soon downtown develops a little more, we might be able to work in a pro team (which in itself is a big business).

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 10:58 AM

Success isn't measured in wins and losses, but $$$$$

Pitino is good for it

adrian on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 11:01 AM

"right"

joe on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 11:03 AM

It is the best BS I could come up with

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